[ It's not been often lately that any of the gods have seemed outright celebratory on the network, but here you have it now: Thor's face is lit up with a brilliant and almost triumphant grin. ]

Polish your armor and sharpen your swords. We've taken Tyr and his power out of Thiazi's hands, and we know now for sure: she will not stand a chance against us and our dragon friends.

We will leave at sunrise in two days' time, and know this, Travelers - she is afraid, and with good reason. In two days, we march to victory.

[ ooc notes: He'll be hanging around a while if anyone has any questions, but feel free to use this post for ic discussion/planning too! The ooc event post will go up detailing all of the minutia in the morning. Thanks! ]

[ This is Odin's first real public appearance since the martial law was first instated, an intentional move after the whole traitor fiasco, and despite his standard crisp black suit and ramrod straight posture, the King of Asgard is still looking a little rough around the edges. A muscle jumps in his jaw right before he begins speaking. ]

There's a decision to be made. You handled the last with a surprising amount of grace and reason, and for your hand in both getting us to this point and in the war at large, we'll give you say in this one as well.

You returned from Mimisbrunnr with the information we needed to recover Tyr's soul from Thiazi's grasp, but we've been waiting for the right moment. We need to be prepared, because as soon as we make our move, she's going to know, and she's going to be pissed.

[ At least for that much, he almost looks pleased, insofar as the only change in his demeanor being a sort of fire in his eyes. It's short lived. ]

So. Before we perform the ritual, we need to decide what to do with Tyr's soul once we have it. This is where you come in. My colleagues and I will be around to answer any questions you might have, but seeing as this is a largely personal matter for many of us, I'll remind you lot to either keep it professional or keep it to yourself.

[ Looking @ u, Freyr and Loki and any other bleeding hearts in the audience. ]

We need to act fast, so you have until sundown. And one last word of caution - [ As personal as Odin will get for this post, with an imperceptible glare. ] - do not take this lightly.

[ OOC NOTES: This is the IC discussion regarding whether or not to resurrect Tyr! The poll is still open until Oct. 16 at 11:59PM CST, so hash things out and make sure to vote!! Let us know if you have any questions or if you'd like to request an NPC in specific for your thread! ]

So.

[ He's eating popcorn. If there's an angry way to eat popcorn, Loki's managing it right now. Munch munch munch. ]

You guys know I'm a fan of riddles. Here's one: what's the difference between a lobster with big boobs and a Greyhound station? [ The most careful deadpan. Munch munch. ] Too easy? All right, I've got a harder one for you: how does a Giant with elemental magic perform spiritual magic?

[ A beat. A handful of popcorn. Prolonged eye-contact. ]

Nothing? Man, rough crowd. Don't worry, I'll give you this one: she doesn't. She gets a god to do it for her.

[ Okay, fuck the popcorn. He throws the whole bucket over his shoulder and sits forward. ]

See, turns out when everyone else was having that fun family reunion down in Ginnungagap, Thiazi wasn't actually just sitting naked on her throne and cackling to herself as she is wont to do. Naw, she was studying the magic dear old Dad used to shove my mom's soul into the doll that started the whole party. The gods were too busy fighting over some snot-nosed brats to realise that Tyr's soul never returned to the land like it was supposed to.

[ Hence the recent excursions and general confusion. He shouldn't've ditched his popcorn, now he has nothing to angrily chew but the inside of his cheek. ]

Thiazi's been attacking us in ways that shouldn't be possible, aren't, because her magic isn't written that way. Took us awhile to figure it out, but seems like you guys do pretty well as the Bossman's eyes. There's no magic down there 'cos someone took it, and it ain't in Muspellheim 'cos it's hanging out down south, and Thiazi's more powerful than she should be 'cos she's using my dad's soul, same way she was planning to use Freyr's and the rest of us once she'd taken us down.

[ He wiggles his fingers theatrically and confetti falls in front of the camera with the word 'Surprise!' written on it. So dramatic ! ]

Luckily for us, most of you guys are the heroic sort that love rescuing damsels in distress, and the rest of you just like dicking people over. So - how's a trip back to Mimisbrunnr sound? If there's a way to draw Tyr's soul back out of Thiazi, she'll be weakened and we'll have one more edge over her crazy ass. Train's heading out tomorrow if you're interested!

[ A pause, and he summons his popcorn back to him to resume eating it from ... off ... the floor Loki you could've just summoned new popcorn why ... ]

I like to think I've been pretty good to you guys, so I'm gonna ask you for a personal favour. [ He sobers, as much as Loki is able to do so when he's this mad. ] Help me kill this bitch. Doing this will get us one step closer, and I cannot fucking wait to see her head roll.

[ That's all he's got. Loki, out! ]

[ OOC NOTES: This is the metaplot information for Dude, Where's My Soul? You didn't think the title was just a shitty reference, did you? The log is already up here! Enjoy! ]

[ The morning of day 505, a message from the gods is broadcast over the network: ]

Greetings, Travelers.

Some of you may know already that there was a breach of the castle barrier. We apprehended an individual using Thiazi's magic to attempt assassination of the Queen, and have confirmed that he is Thiazi's informant inside Asgard. This man has been actively assisting her in making attacks on the city as well as misleading our own intelligence efforts.

[ Heimdall is understandably quite cross at this. He gestures offscreen and the feed shifts from Heimdall to a wider shot of the room, where there is a man being held in place between Thor and Loki, who also look quite cross. ]

His name is Satan and he pleads innocence by corruption -- that all he has done while sabotaging Asgard was Thiazi's influence. While he lives we cannot tell his intent, only that he is indeed the perpetrator.

Since he is one among you, we leave his judgment in your hands. What would you have us do with the traitor?


(( The poll is to be filled out ICly and once per character! This will decide Satan's fate. Please feel free to threadjack at will to discuss the trial! ))

[This message is unfiltered. It's that adorable, smug, irritating face that pretty much everybody in Asgard wants to punch. He hasn't been on the network in a while, but he's also been overworked helping to keep things nice and stable and the magic going properly, and some of his antics have been a little draining.

But he's back, from outer space... or whatever. Aren't you all lucky?

Behind him is a spear of jagged, ugly, blackish ice that people in the north of town have likely seen several times before. The remnants of Thiazi's backlash some time ago remain, despite efforts and study. Finally, folding his arms, he turned towards the feed and spoke. For once? He didn't sound too arrogant.]

Alright, so I know a few of you've been talking about ideas on how to clean the porch up. I think we've done enough window dressing for my tastes. It's high time we dealt with this thing. I'm all for your brilliant ideas. This is exactly what the engineers are supposed to do anyway.

And don't be shy. Just because you're not in my glorious band of misfit idiots doesn't mean you can't help. It's not like anybody wants this health hazard to stick around. So pipe up. I know some of you have been coming up with ideas, but it's time to actually get started, wouldn't you say?

(OOC: Threadjacking is invited in this thread. This is a chance for Engineers to plot/plan and non-engineers to add their own muscle. Several players have voiced interest in bringing down this ice flow and rebuilding the wall/Gate of Fire. I know at least 2-3 who've made attempts. You're all invited. Baldr's just being his usual dick self and kicking things in gear. Ultimately, it's player plots that will bring it down. I'll check with the mods on the 'how')

[Freya is sitting, calm and regal, on an exquisitely carved chair of ancient wood, flowing blue tapestries hanging behind her. There's some kind of mutant rabbit in her lap, and she's holding it in place with gloved hands.] Travelers. You may have noticed a new addition to our fine city. It has fallen upon you to- [Her eyes dart away, and she turns her head to look with obvious worry at something off screen-] Freyr. Freyr, stop-

[ And Freyr's head comes into view, just at the edge of the screen. He is crouched down, touching the arm of Freya's chair to brace himself as he leans dangerously close to the animal. ] Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to get too close -- [ He's not looking at the bracelet, but the excitement in his tone seems to suggest he's addressing it, anyway. ] They're brand new creatures, really, truly new things, right from this world, so please be kind to them.... [ And he trails off, distracted, as he seems to try to line his face up with the animal's. Their noses are inches apart. Freyr wiggles his, delighted. ]

[Freya picks the rabbit up and moves it onto a nearby table, away from Freyr. She says, tone pointed,] Don't touch it. [And, looking back to her audience-] Them. The experience is highly- highly unrecommended.

[ Freyr's face falls into an expression of disappointment, before he stands and follows after her. ] I think most of you agreed on Longtoothed Reinhare, so: Miss Lovegood, thank you very much for that suggestion. [ Yeah, the disappointment is already gone. He simply seems brightly cheerful again now. ] Do you have any questions, or...? Please do ask.

[Freya continues:] Yes, please do ask, if- Freyr! Freyr, be careful- [And the video ends.]

Before you start complaining, [ said with a Look, because he knows some of you probably already have ], let me set things straight.

This is not a punishment. I've been content to let you guys roam about and track mud through my house like misbehaving toddlers since Day One, and I'd be content to continue doing so until our business is done here. But isn't, and we don't have time to dick around anymore.

Thiazi's attack wasn't random. It was desperate and sloppy, which means one thing: she knows we're coming for her.

[ He wants to be viciously pleased with the idea of her panicking, but he is nothing close to amused right now. ]

The only way she could know that is if someone on the inside told her. We don't know who, and we don't know how, but we can't afford that kind of liability. These laws are in place to protect you. We can't fight a war on both sides of the wall.

Be vigilant. Look after each other. It's going to be down to you to keep each other safe.

[ A pause, a blink. The ever eternal silent sigh. ]

You have questions. Ask.

[ OOC NOTES: This is the official kickoff for the new martial law! Ask your IC questions here, and let us know if you want any god in specific, as they'll be hanging around this post. The log for weapons registration, rationing, and Red Scare flavoured shenanigans is over here. Let us know if you have any questions! ]

[ Perhaps fifteen minutes after the post alerting the city to her and her army's arrival, reflective surfaces in the city will begin to ripple and warp. Water, glass, metal with any sort of shine at all are all subject to it, and after a moment of this, Thiazi's face arranges itself in place of any reflection. Loki has removed her ability to connect to the network entirely -- this seems to be her work around. ]

Hello, little lambs.

[ Her voice is muffled silk and echoes loud in the city walls. It has no discernible source. When she smiles, there is something uneven about it. Her hair, usually smoothed carefully down even in the midst of battle, seems partially uncombed - as if she were distracted halfway through finishing it. ]

I've heard about your plans, heard about your clubs and patrols. The gods aren't the only ones with friends inside of Asgard's walls.

[ She swallows, and some of the larger mirrors in the city will clearly show a thin sheen of sweat on her face. Thiazi is obviously agitated beneath this veneer of control, and her shoulders twitch like she has an itch that she just isn't allowing herself to scratch. ]

But I've learned a few little tricks of my own recently. We hope you don't mind a little company.

[ Thiazi pulls her lips back to bare her teeth in a white, caustic smile. The mirrors freeze for a moment on that image, before they go blank. Normal reflections fade back in, albeit slowly. Immediately after, the pixies begin descending upon the city. ]

[ OOC NOTES: This begins the second half of the Christmas in July event! The mingle log is located HERE.

Please note that comments are disabled on this post because Thiazi's post was not on the bracelet network, so there's not really a place to comment. Let me know via PM or email if you have any questions, and I'll happily get them answered! ]

Good morning, Asgard.

[ It's a joke, see? Because he's been asleep for fifty days, just recently woken to dreams of the Mother burning and the whispers of the inevitable end. Odin's a clever one, pale and worn as he looks in his customary sharp suit. ]

It's a relief, if not a surprise, to see most of my city still standing. You've done well beside my son, and for that, you have my gratitude.

[ Such a proud Allpapa. But that's as lighthearted as this address gets. Buckle in, kiddos. ]

But I'm not here to waste time with formalities today. No more beating around the bush. No jokes, no tricks, no clever riddles. No more bullshit.

This is the end. I heard Her whispers while I slept, and I have Seen it as you all did last night. You shouldn't need me to tell you that this is a reality anymore. This is the end.

You have a choice. You weren't brought here to be our soldiers and fight as our army, but we can't afford to keep Asgard half in the battlefield and half behind closed doors for your comfort anymore. Still, we promised that we would never force your hand, so - a choice.

We don't have enough control over the spell that binds you here to pick and choose for this, it's all or nothing. If you want to stay and fight this war, we'll start the process of gearing this kingdom for its true purpose. But if you want to leave, to go home and be with what's left of your homes for whatever time remains, we'll shut the doors and see what the Fates decide for us.

[ A pause, as he considers. ]

I don't have a rousing speech for you. It's not my thing; you can talk to my colleagues if you need a group hug. But - I will say one thing.

We accepted the title of "god" not because we are all-seeing, all-powerful beings. You already know that we aren't. It's just a word given value by those that speak it, as is the nature of language. This is called the "Holy City" because it was created as a refuge for the lost beings that would've been left to die outside our walls. We are called "gods" because our citizens believe in us as their higher power for protection and guidance where otherwise there is none.

We're children of faith. And where Ragnarok has been set in stone since the beginning of time, we've pushed back against it because we have faith. You are the byproduct of that; we did the impossible to fight inevitability, and you are the proof of that. Which is to say -

[ An amused, tired shrug. ]

- who knows what the Hell we can do next?

[ Just before signing off, he'll add one more thing with a ping to Jo Harvelle and The Fourth Doctor in specific. ]

I want to speak with those of you that left the city recently. You know who you are.

[ OOC NOTES: Yay, Odin's awake again! This is the IC conclusion to May's events, and the IC discussion that will bring us into Arc 5. As was already decided in December via player poll, the city will be militarising to amount a counterattack against the Giants. This post is to discuss all that! The OOC rundown of what happens next is over here. Feel free to ask questions and let us know if you'd like a specific god to pop into any of your threads, as we'll all be hanging about! ]

[ It's early morning, in the midst of the groups of animals fleeing through the streets, when the SOS alarm screams from every bracelet in the city. It's not long before Thor pops up on the hologram. He is breathless, his face splotched red, and his words come in a roar: ]

If you value your life at all, get to the castle now. Bring your loved ones, your animals if you can wrangle them, and leave your things because there is no time!

[ And then he slams it off, because this? This is an emergency. ]


[ OOC: Heralding the beginning of the LOCUSTS! event. The mingle log is located HERE, and the OOC info is located HERE. Feel free to have your character respond to this, but the city will flood just about an hour after this post happens, so he might be a bit preoccupied! He will be around in the event log, however, so feel free to react to that there, too. ]

[ The feed is distorted again, but anyone who has seen Thiazi before will recognize the Queen of the Frost Giants immediately. She is elegantly composed, but makes no attempt to hide the glint of cold satisfaction in her eyes.

She is back to gloat. Again. ]

Again and again, I warn you of the futility of this war. Again and again, I promise agony to those who dare work against me.

[ She leans forward, lip curling up in a cruel sneer. The video flickers, distorts, before righting itself again. ]

The fool Odin has fallen, and his kingdom shall not be long behind it. When I shred your souls to nothing, remember that-

[ And the video distorts again, before flaring with static and a sudden over-saturation of colors. Thiazi stops mid-sentence, simply because she is abruptly unable to make sound, unable to breathe as the impression of fingers appear wrapped around her pale throat. She claws silently at the formless handprints as a shrill, loud feedback tears through the feed, shrill and sharp, borderline painful to anyone who might hear it. ]

Get out. Get out. I'll kill you, get OUT-

[ It is the god Loki's voice that warbles through the distortion of the feed as he fights back against her clumsy intrusion into the magic of his network. It repeats, over and over, layering on itself as it increases in volume and intensity.

Thiazi's mouth opens in a wordless hiss, before she slams her fist down against the bracelet. There is another loud scream of magical feedback coupled with the briefest of sounds of something shattering, before the feed goes completely dead. ]

[ OOC: Thiazi and Loki will not be answering comments in this post, but please feel free to leave reactions here or to tag each other if your characters would be so inclined. ]

[ The morning's fierce thunderstorm may have calmed, but the unnatural silence that has fallen over the city brings little peace. Even the white noise of the rain is constant and heavy enough to fade from Travelers' awareness; it is the sort of quiet that begs one to break it, that drags out each successive moment for longer and longer.

That night, Heimdall addresses the network. He holds himself more formally than usual, shoulders back and chin up, gaze level into the feed as if he's meeting every Traveler's eyes directly. There's an air of authority about him and quiet certainty in his voice when he speaks. It's not strange by any means, but it's different enough that those who have spoken to him prior will know something has happened -- something that will affect them all. ]

Good evening, Travelers. I do hope this reaches you in safety. Certainly, this storm is no mere weather, and its mainspring...

[ Heimdall breathes in and seems to make a decision. He will tell the Travelers more than his King would approve of, in the hopes of ensuring their support. There has been enough conflict recently, arguments and placation, things for which they can no longer spare the time or energy. ]

Odin is gone. Shielding Asgard from Yggdrasil's collapse has taxed our King profoundly, and he has fallen into a sleep from which he cannot be woken. I ask of your patience as we await his recovery, and through any changes his rest may bring. Thor, Prince-Regent and heir, will reign in his father's absence.

I'm certain many of you have questions. While I will endeavor to respond, please realize there is much to be done at the moment. Thank you for your cooperation in this difficult time.

[Action]

[As the sun sets on Asgard for the second day of madness, there is a cry of supreme exertion from above the city. Anyone who looks towards it can see a figure clearly in the darkness of the night. For a a single, brilliant moment the shadows of evening, the stars in the sky and the moon are overshadowed and the light that emanates from him is almost like the morning sun. It glitters where he half stands, half floats just above the unseen barrier that guards the palace.

His hands reach out and tendrils of golden dust begin to float out from his bright and shining body. They criss-cross and tangle, fraying through all of the city, leading and connecting every part of the Holy City to his floating form. There is a resounding shout of exertion at the end of the minute and every golden light pulls taut. The travelers in all corners of the city can feel their very beings tug, yanking at them and pulling on their cores. And then, there is silence. The golden light winks out and the figure can be seen falling to the castle below in the light of the rising moon.

But, as he falls, everything in the city is at peace once more.]

[Video]

[The video feed comes on about an hour later. In the intervening time, there's been no explanations, no answers, no word from the palace. Baldr comes onto the feed, reclined on a couch, dressed well and making an effort not to look like he might have just seriously over-extended himself. Nope, just a normal day for the god. Everything's fine.

He turns towards the feed and gives everyone a smug, self-satisfied look, the sneer filling his arrogant features.]

You're welcome. Now would you lot please clean our city up? You're the ones who made a mess.

[ All of you need to stop giving Honir reasons to look sad on his only network appearances. This time, he looks downright bereft. But he smiles anyway; Mimir is steady at his side and it's enough support to get through this. ]

Can I tell you a story, Travellers? It's one some of you may have been wanting to hear - but it's a love story, for those of you that don't like them and want to avoid having feelings.

( not IC cut for plot information! )

[ OOC NOTES: This is the IC post welcoming the Travellers to join them for a trip to Ginnungagap. OOC information can be found here and the mingle log is here. It isn't necessary to respond in order to go on the trip. All of the gods will be wandering through this post, so let us know if you'd like to speak to someone in specific! ]

[When Skuld appears on Asgard's network, she is the picture of regal composure - perfectly groomed and solemn of face, a far cry from the dirty, soot-covered refugee that arrived the day before. Only when she speaks can some of the frayed edges be noted, but never to the point of hysteria; she is still a queen, and this is a royal duty.]

Travellers of Asgard. For those whom I did not have the pleasure of meeting on my last occasion to visit this city, my name is Skuld, and I am ruler of the elven kingdom of Alfheim. While it pleases me to speak with all of you again, I must regretfully inform you that it is on a very dire matter indeed.

[She glances down at her hands, ensuring that they are still steady where she's folded them in her lap, then back up again with iron determination.]

( Cut for Skuld's loquaciousness. TL;DR: things are, in fact, hitting the fan in elfland. )

[And indeed, her speech is done. The gods will be backing her on matters relating to Asgard, which will likely be the most pressing concerns for those that live here, but she will take any questions about Alfheim directly. And of course, it will likely be her who tries to soothe those angered by this speech.]

[ Loki is relaxed across a luxurious couch in a plain black t-shirt. Red and gold flicker across the grin on his face, so it's presumable he's relaxing in front of a fireplace, pleased as punch. ]

Stay warm out there, Travellers.

[ Yep, that's it, that's the post. # mocking u 5ever ]

[ OOC NOTES: Just a reminder that all ugly sweaters will revert to normal sweaters on Day 372, the 15th! This post can be used for general Q&A with the gods as well! ]

[ Thor’s face is oddly pale and contemplative when the video begins. He is seated on the edge of his bed, turning a mirror in his hand. Light from the fireplace glints from both it and the ornamental suit of chainmail that he has donned. ]

We have three choices, and we’re running out of time. [ His eyes cut up to the bracelet’s camera, voice low and expression solemn. ] If we break the mirrors - every one - it should kill everyone still inside it, and let Hel recover their souls. The deaths won’t be pretty ones. Or, failing that, we can wait for Thiazi and Surt to finish fighting it out, and hope things end up fixed on their own.

[ He spins the mirror one last time, before halting it abruptly in his own hand. ]

Or I could go inside and try to bring them out, which is a stupid, dangerous plan and one that could very well kill me. But we don’t have time, do you understand? We don’t have time for any of this, so we have to make a decision now! [ Thor’s lip curls now, expression darkening into one of disgust. ] None of these are good options. We’ve been trying since the ice bitch came to the city to figure out how -

[ He cuts himself off with a growl, leaning back and setting his shoulders. ]

Just tell me what you want, Travellers, because I can’t stand any more of this damn waiting.

[ The feed ends there, and then turns back on abruptly a few minutes later. From the looks of things, quite unintentionally so, as Odin has since appeared in the room and does not look pleased - not that he ever really looks pleased. ]

We’ll find another way, this isn’t safe and you know that. There’s no guarantee we can get any of you out alive.

[ Thor glances at the bracelet on his desk. He seems to know that it’s broadcasting again, and he flashes a humorless smile at it before looking back to Odin. ]

I’m sorry, Father. [ His tone is terse, but it’s clear he isn’t. ] But the Travellers have spoken, and you know how Freyr is always going on about listening to them more--

[ His expression falls, twists into something almost apologetic, before he smashes the mirror on the shoulder of his armor and disappears into the Mirror-verse without further word. ]

[ Odin raises his hand to shield himself from the pull of the spell, and by the time he lowers it, Thor is gone. His eyes hold their usual cool demeanor for just long enough to register what’s happened before he throws Thor’s desk across the room, crushing the bracelet and effectively ending the feed. ]

[ OOC NOTES: This is the very late final NPC post, kickstarting the resolution to A House Divided. Characters can either respond to the first part of the post to discuss their options or to the second part of the post that reflects the results of the poll here. A log for the resolution is up here. Characters can respond either to Odin, or to Thor in the few minutes between the videos. Please let us know if you have any questions, and thank you so much for bearing with us through this one! ]

[ The video to the network starts with a smug little smile, as most of Thiazi’s correspondences do. The field beneath the video that would typically display a name instead simply reads t̶̬h͓͇̪̗̥ ̷a͚̙͙̻͔̳z̷͔̣͖̬͚ ]

It’s been too long, Odin’s little bootlickers.

[ The sound is distorted, distant, as if coming through a loose connection. Thiazi’s cold smile is perfectly clear, however. ]

I am the Queen of Frost, and once again, the futility of your -

[ Whatever she’s saying is cut off abruptly by a sharp crashing sound from nearby. She looks quickly to the side, and her expression is less 'alarmed' and more 'off-put.' ]

You-

[The response is loud enough to be clearly heard carrying over her end of the connection, booming and unmistakably irritated.]

What do you think you’re doing?

[ Thiazi stands and turns, a snarl on her face and in her tone. ]

Surt. I was the one who began this attack before you and your army- [ The word is dripping with sarcasm. ] -charged in to attack, and we shall be the ones to-

[ She gestures widely then, and the video and audio both distort further as Thiazi steps back and a tall blonde man storms into sight. The sound cuts completely, leaving the wavering and staticky impression of the two of them bickering heatedly, before the video abruptly ends. ]


[ OOC Notes: Thiazi and Surt are both on the scene in their attack on Asgard, and will be responding in a small capacity to people who reply to this post! This is backdated to Day 362, and is a part of the House Divided event. ]

[Contrary to popular belief, werewolves clean up real nice. Tom has even found a tie. And someone to tie it for him. He glances to someone just off camera, nods, and then stands up straighter, although you may see a quick flash of a smaller hand moving to straighten that tie of his. Off camera, you hear a familiar Scottish voice--]

Em… everyone, this is Tom McNair and he is looking for a job. He’s very qualified in the food and service industries. He’s been the head chef at several cafes and dog food...factories.

[ It might start to be clear that she’s reading from a paper because you can hear a pause as she stifles a wee laugh before you hear a ‘no’ at something on the list. She tosses the list and starts speaking from her heart/own words--]

Tom will give you everything he’s got, he’s very loyal, respectful, and a real go-getter. You won’t regret hiring him.

[Tom grins brightly, giving Alex a thumbs-up before remembering something else.]

Oi! Forgot to mention that I’ve got a CV now. Wrote it meself.

[He searches his pockets until he finds it, unfolding the piece of paper so that he can hold it up to the camera. In large printed letters across the top - Barry Grand Hotel - Ass Man. It takes a moment for Alex to notice what the paper says before she scrambles to cut the feed while trying to pull the paper from his hands as she says - 'Ass man, oh God" trying so hard to not to laugh anymore as the feed cuts.]