If this is supposed to be another attack on the city I think it's a lot nicer than the previous ones.

[She's actually using video today! Except... the camera isn't focused on herself at all, it's the shaggy head of a yak calf who has decided to sprawl against Euri and is currently getting a very thorough brushing. They're in Gefion Park, sitting on the overgrown grass, and further away an energetic, great dane-sized wolfdog can be seen circling around a bunch of goats munching away at the various foliage. Euri isn't particularly concerned since Dog isn't trying to eat them but herd them, like he did with the goats back home.]

Dog is definitely enjoying himself, at least. It's been months since he's gotten to herd anything. [She hums a little, clearly pleased that Dog is happy, before focusing on the calf.]

This guy is, too! Aren't you? You're so cute! And you're just a baby, too!

[She ruffles his ears and resumes brushing him, that humming quickly turning into the first verse of this song before she remembers to shut the feed off.]

Alright, listen up, this one's to all the guys who've hit puberty.  Every one of you. You see this girl?

[He holds up a photo of ]

That's Ange. She's my kid. Real cute, right? I know. Well don't get thinking she's too cute, 'cause you're not allowed to talk to her.  If I catch any guys talking to her, I'm gonna track them down and gut them like a fish, you got it? Good.  Well here's a list of offenders so far after looking back on the bracelet. You guys are safe for now, but consider this your final warning.

Ryuunosuke Uryuu
Eridan Ampora
Hijiri Shinozuka
Kiyomasa Senji
Shiki Tohno
Kurt Hummel
Aoto
Soushi Miketsukami
Arihiko Inui
Kaz
Nezumi
Shion
Koda Hasegawa
Austin O'Brien
Hisao Nakai

[Today Beato addresses her fellow travelers much like she has on other occasions, seated primly in the drawing room of Loki House, a warm cup of black tea at her elbow. There's an entire tea set on the table, as well, and it looks like a fair few empty cups are sitting around the table]

In light of our recent scolding for not being quite social enough, it occurs to me that there must be quite a lot going on around here that I am missing out on. So with that in mind, I invite any who are interested to join me here in Loki House for a small tea party.

I would so dearly love to hear a fresh bit of gossip.

[ Rejoice, Asgard! There is a new feed, and surprise surprise, Hanako has decided to show herself on video from the beginning and without outside pressuring! Though the camera tilted in a way that doesn't show her eyes... it looks like she's still got lots of issues about it, but she's too much in a good mood to care, really. You can see her smile a little, hands joined together. ]

Good afternoon, everyone. This will be brief and rushed, but I could no longer hold back.

I would like to thank all the people who took part in the Travellers Festival. Every single one of you. The ones who made this possible; all the helpers who contributed with the booths, exhibitions, security guarding and the firework display; the Neighbors Club; the members of each house that put their abilities to the best use, and everyone else who decided to come and have fun with us. It's thanks to you that the party was a success eventually.

Here's to hope that events like these can be held in the future. What do you all think? Is there already something in your mind that could work for the next month? I wonder if we can hold events once a month, it sounds like a reasonable idea since it gives the right space to organize- uhm...

[ Now she's just rambling... better stop it before she embarasses herself. ] Err... anyway, obviously I couldn't meet with everyone in the festival; how was it? Did you have fun? Is there something that could have been improved? What is the thing you liked the most about it?

[ There is a pause, as you can see her rub her hands together... the nervousness is catching up with her. ]

Also... as a reminder, the invite is still open for the Nightlight club. We have the right number of members, and we'd love to see more people that enjoyed the books. As for the first meeting, I have yet to decide for a date. My apologies, it's just that the festival's organization took away my whole time. When could be the right time for you folks? I'm open for suggestions.

...

That is all. Thank you again... and have a good day. [ She reaches for the bracelet, and clicks the feed off. Phew. ]

--es? Is there something I can assist you with?

[ 'Bernkastel' doesn't hesitate to speak. If anyone knows her, they know that it's rather stange to see her looks so... distressed. Almost immediately, "she" points. ... Only, Bernkastel isn't exactly Bernkastel at the moment. ] You know damned well what you can assist me with! What's the hell is this?!

[ 'Battler' merely tilts his head, setting 'his' bracelet on a small endtable beside him. ] I'm afraid this isn't my doing.

[ The real Battler stops for a moment, Bernkastel's back slumping ] Aaaahhh, dammiiiit.... I've finally had a chance to be a woman's body, and it's that damned witch's! [ He looks to Bern ] So, you're saying that it's the gods, right?! Well, that's great, just perfect! The one's who did this in the first place never come out of hiding at all...!

[ Bernkastel tilts her head, "her" face as expressionless as ever. For those who know Battler, it's probably an odd sight. ] I have no motive to switch our bodies, as you well can guess. [ A pause. ] As expected.

Don't you witches have a completely twisted sense of humor? In fact, I'm expecting you to burst out laughing at any second now!

I am as displeased as you are about being another's body. Our sense of humor may differ, but I'm quite comfortable in my own skin. [ Of course, her face doesn't look displeased. You'll have to take her word for it. ]

[ Somehow, it looks as though he's calmed down a bit, but he isn't quite a powerface as Bernkastel's usually is. ] Tch... Don't tell me you expect to wait it or whatever. ... It's not like I never wanted to know what it was like to be in a woman's body, but this body's completely and totally flat!

[ Bernkastel only tilts her head to the side. ] In such an upsetting situation, all you can worry about is my chest size? I don't know whether to be disappointed, or neutral, as that's what I should have expected of you.

W, Well, it is to be expected from a breast sommelier, isn't it? --But, what about you? I bet you have your own share of complaints about this entire thing, too! [ Like what if Bern's double comes... then what... ]

Of course I do. However, angrily voicing them is not going to help our situation.

... Lemme guess. Sit around and wait, right? That leaves a bad taste in my mouth...

Do you suggest doing something else? Charging recklessly will do nothing, and likely result in further punishments.



((Joint post with titties! Bern and Battler will reply separately, and Bern's tags will come from onethousandtruths.))

I want to keep this as simple as possible.

What kinds of ramen do you like?

[This may or may not become apparent in the future as to why he wants to know.]

If you've never had ramen, go ahead and say so. I'll try not to judge you. Or even better, I may get you some.

Oh, and if you say something like you prefer eight eggs in your ramen, please don't comment.

[A timid woman appears on the feed and to some... she may look familiar, but there's something different about her.]

H-Hello? Everyone can hear me, right? [She gives the bracelet a curious look.] My name is Beatrice Castiglioni, I have only been here a few days and... Could someone explain to me these recent contests I have been seeing? Some of them looked quite fun.

[She puts on a nervous, but warm smile.] By the way, does anyone happen to know a man by the name of Kinzo Ushiromiya? If so, please let him know that I am here.

[The video feed opens up to panning between two rooms in Baldr house - 201 and 203 specifically.  They're refurnished to fit his preference, aka pretty classy, rich guy stuff, as he would put it himself.  Don't ask how he got it.  Just.  Don't.]

Hey, so I'm cleaning up these rooms, trying to make 'em into one big one for myself.  Anyone wanna help me tear down this wall?  Uh, someone who can make keys would be pretty good too.  Have to pick the lock every time I want to get in.  It's not like anybody's using them, so it's fine if I do, right?

Maybe I should be advertising my sweet bachelor pad for the lonely women of Asgard, heheh. [He grins. It's only half-joking...] Haven't had a dry spell since I was about fifteen, geez...

Anyway, hey, Ange, you get bored of staying with those freaks in your house, come hang out with your old man!  Nobody ever visits me, it's not like I'm in a home.

[ Kaz's trip to Utgard? Wasn't exactly the best experience he's ever had. He met someone he wasn't intending to and now he's gotten himself roped into working for the Queen of Thrymheim and it's been a pretty subduing experience. "Go and convert others against the Gods." Great mission.

The perks are pretty nice though. He's sent back to Utgard without much trouble which means catching a carriage back to Asgard since he's bushed. Once he's close enough for the network not to be so unreliable, though... ]

What the fuck. I leave for a week and you guys almost kill yourselves while camping???? Seriously, how the heck are humans still even around? It's a miracle you haven't gone extinct by now. Maybe it's because you multiply like rabbits. [ Kaz what are you talking about you have 90384768934693 siblings back home ]

Seriously, what the fuck has been going on here? Why does everyone have beards??

[ He'll decide to leave it at that because THIS IS HIS STOP, central Asgard near the castle and dear gods he did not miss this place or anyone in it 8| But being treated like a pet spider by an ice queen is just a bit draining and this is the furthest place from her that he can think of heading to. yep. ]


[ ooc; KAZ IS BACK did you miss him probably not sob he's a terrible person. Feel free to run into him near the castle! HE HAS SOUVENIRS. ]

Let me start off by setting one thing straight.

Anything you saw not too long ago, up to and including me working at a maid cafe or me trying not to die at a knife maniac's hand, never happened.

Never.

So don't bring it up. It didn't exist so I won't have any idea what you're talking about.

[See, that's totally settled and now everyone should completely forget because that's how things work.

...totally not embarrassing at all.]

Either way, if anyone still needs any assistance moving things around, do let me know. I won't take money for it since it's an emergency so don't hesitate to ask.

[A pause because, oh yeah, he remembered something.]

I slogged over and found what I wanted to show you, Vyse. Just let me know when you're free and I'll meet you somewhere.

How many of you believe in magic? It's topic you can debate on and I'm interested in hearing answers.

Don't just answer "yes" or "no" . Try to elaborate on your answer and tell me how you came to that conclusion otherwise you're wasting time.

[ No greetings, or any attempt to be friendly and open today. She can't be bothered being polite today. However, even despite all the bitterness and anger directed in various directions, Hanako will turn the audio feed on and speak to the network, hours after Heimdall's announcement.

Her voice is quiet, and oddly cold even for someone as gentle as she is. ]

I would like to once again apologize sincerely to whoever ran into me during the... competition, and all the discomfort my reactions caused you. I was completely out of control, and I don't think there's still any excuse for what happened.

[ She feels like gagging at the mere mention of the 'competition' word, but she'll continue. ]

Our House apparently... won a considerable amount of gold. This is directed to all Sigyn members; what are you planning to do with all that? I am just curious.

[ Hanako waits a few seconds, then she'll click the feed off. Someone is obviously hurt and in need to talk with anyone. ]

 Erm. Hello, Asgard... 

[ bunny, why so sheepish? oh, yeah, that's right, because you're acknowledging the fact that your memory is faulty. ]

I'm looking for someone. I met her at the Spring Party, and before that, on the network... She makes clothes.

[ THAT'S RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. he shifts his gaze uncomfortably. ]

I... never caught her name. And I don't remember what she looks like. If you know her, please let me know where I can find her... thank you.

[ before he can embarrass himself further, he shuts off the feed. ]

What the hell's wrong with everybody? Singing these weirdass songs... This one of those tricks the gods play, or is everyone messed in the head?

You'll never catch me giving in to that...

[And he starts singing uncontrollably, trying to hide it and switch off the video, but, 40-something from the 80's, what is dealing with technology.]

I am Jack Bauer
always in danger
I am Jack Bauer
I never die
I am Jack Bauer
I get pissed easily
I am Jack Bauer
I'm actually a cry baby...

What kind of curse is this, anyways? Bursting into random songs? Ahh, and I thought that those witches were pretty random with their pranks, but this beats what they've done by a long shot--

[ And there's no tune playing, but Battler also stops! He's too tempted to sing to continue. He finally also gives into the current... curse-- ]

She kept looking at her watch
Doesn't matter had sex
But I cried the whole time
Doesn't matter had sex
I think she mighta been a racist
Doesn't matter had sex
She put a bag on my head
still counts
I just had sex
And my dreams came true
So if you’ve had sex in the last 30 minutes
Then you qualified to sing with me

So, people of Asgard, this is your resident Wendy Watson of Freyr House and O.2.S.T.K -- where we fight evil so you don't have to! -- speaking, and I have a question for you all. The question comes with a little preface, though, so bear with me for a minute here.

Back in my home "world," we've got aliens, werewolves, ghosts, mad scientists, vampires, zombies, and every other type of classic, comic book evil, so I'm curious, if other worlds are like that too.

What sort of supernatural, extraterrestrial, and just plain hinky stuff would I find if I went to your home town?