Alright--this has been bothering me for a while now.

I don't know what the hell kind of messed-up worlds most of you come from--an' I don't really care either--but in what kind of fucked up world is it normal where everyone and their haggy old mom is a freak of nature???

All you people with your rainbow hair and your eyes-on-acid or whatever the fuck you've done to them! You are all freaks. What the hell is wrong with all of you? I mean I'm a fuckin' freak and I still think you guys are freaks! That pretty much makes you all like...three times as fucked up. And you all act like it's normal--! Even when you're wearing a freakin' garden party bonanza for hair or look like you had someone shoot paint into your eyes.

Let me just tell you now: hair the color of the fucking rainbow an' all it's inbred cousins isn't normal.

But does anyone think it's weird?? Nope! You all just show up from J-pan with name likes "Mantaro Yuckimushi" or whatever the fuck they are. "Impossible-to-pronounce-ibamumamu". Anyway, you show up and act like all the freaks with hair and eyes as fucked up as yours are totally normal. Which means you're brain damaged or your world is just as fucked up as you are.

Where I come from? Only old people have white hair. Magical...sparkling, whatever-the-fuck eyes only come on the things that look like people, but who actually just eat other people. Like demons or vampires or...I don't know. Mutant frogs.

So congrats! You guys must have won the fuckin' freak show lottery or something because now you get to live in a city full of people just as messed-up as yourselves! Because when even the non-humans think you guys are freaks, something has gone seriously wrong. And humans were pretty fucking weird to begin with.


...Actually yeah, I guess if you already ain't human then it's a different story. Like if you're one of those Termites or a fairy or goose or whatever...well you're already abnormal so this shit doesn't really matter.


[ ooc; KAZ IS THE WORST AT MULTICULTURALISM I'M SORRY sjkdfgdsjkgsjk i love all animu characters no matter what acid trip their eyes and hair are on I promise ;; also termite = MSPA TROLLS sob ]

[Those who know her will notice that Nakama has gradually begun to look calmer and healthier - her face has regained its childish pudginess, and there's not so much tension around her eyes. Today, though, she looks like she's on a mission.]

Hello, everyone. With so many new people arriving, I thought now would be a good time to bring this up.

When I was new here, I went around and mapped out all of the businesses in the city, adding them to the map we got when we arrived here. At first I was just going to use it to help people find their way around, but I thought it'd be more helpful if everyone could have their own copy. I don't really know how to make a picture an attachment on these bracelets, so I just made some photocopies.

[It took most of her first paycheque, but she did it. She holds up her original - all of the districts and the landmarks are there, but this one is bristling with dots and notes (in Japanese and the shared Asgard language) stating what each dot represents. There are cramped notes about the size and content of each business as well. After enough time to get an idea of what the map looks like, she lowers it again.]

If you'd like one, just let me know your name and room number in your district, and I'll have it mailed to you. You can screen your response so that everyone doesn't find out where you live, and I promise I won't tell anyone.

Oh, and sorry about the Japanese... I just thought I should do that in case I ever forgot the language we speak here for some reason. It's all a bit cramped, but I hope it's legible.

[The feed flickers to life with Himari extremely perplexed expression peering down at it. She blinks, once, before smiling and starting to speak.]

Oh! I don't think I've ever seen technology like this, but it seems it's working now! Or...I hope it's working. [She giggles.] The card I was given by the lady who greeted me said I was brought here to restore color and life to this place? I'm not sure how to do that... but I'll try my best! Even if I don't think I could do that, being brought here so suddenly.

[Sighs, slightly pouting.] Geeze... I hope Ringo-chan isn't too worried about me when she notices I'm gone. I was supposed to cook dinner for us tonight, but I don't think I can do that from here.

[A pause, and then she's back to her chipper self.]

Hello to anyone who's watching this! My name is Himari, and it looks like I just got here. I'm not sure if this isn't a strange dream yet, but if it isn't... then the Great Himari might forgive being brought here if she's told more about where she is! Ohohoho! Line up everyone and start confessing!

[Aaand, with a big friendly smile, the feed it cut off.]

[He glances down at his wrist, at his bracelet, where his wrist watch should be...and almost seems unable to bear it. His eyes dart around nervously beneath his glasses, all around the room; anywhere but down.]

Am I--

[His voice catches a bit, and he laughs, embarrassed.]

Ahem.

Am I getting punked...?

[Please tell me I'm getting punked...]

[Blissfully unaware of the little bracelet recording his every movement he continues on with what he was doing before it started recording. It looks like he's in deep conversation with someone as he's seen nodding his head. Though, a few minutes later it grows rather silent as Sugata registers where exactly he is.

Also... if you listen hard enough you can-- wait a second. Is that... are those peacock feathers? Y e p, they totally are.]

It seems that I have found a way to escape the inevitable... but what exactly have I gotten myself into? The Holy city of Asgard? Hmmm...

[He shakes his head, some things are best left unsaid. And, at that Sugata realizes that his bracelet had been recording him. Flushing slightly he clears his throat and shuffles around awkwardly.]

Would... ah, would anyone know if there's a place one can get a change of clothes around here?

[because he doesn't want to be a fabulous peacock anymore, sob. It's also kind of cold. Damn revealing outfit B(]

[ on video is a young man who, honestly, looks like he's seen better days. he looks tired and dirty and cold, and definitely looks like he could use a warm bath and a hearty meal. he sighs, finally giving in to using this thing he was instructed to, but not looking directly at it while it records him. ]

Che-- Even after searching for days, I've found no way out--

What a damn tasteless joke, keeping someone trapped in an illusion this long.

[Video comes on, but almost before the image can register, sound howls through the network. On the screen? Squalo’s mouth is open wide enough to swallow his own fist, and the sound that comes out of his mouth? Well, bummer for the network if their volume wasn’t turned almost all the way down, because their ears were about to be blessed with the dulcet tones of the number one loudest member of the mafia.]

VOOOOOOIIIIII!! This is one shitty joke! I have trash to kill, so somebody better tell me how to get back home right the fuck now.

[ Cordelia's read the letter a thousand times over. She's scanned the network - a bit bored - and knows that this place is the most boring hell dimension she could be sucked into. If there's an opening to be the ruler, count her in, but otherwise, she just really wants to go home. Or not home. Being dead means you can't exactly return home. ]

So, is this place like Pleasantville? I teach you something profound and things bloom with colour? Because, got to say, this is the most boring afterlife one could ask for. And, let's be clear, I didn't ask for an afterlife in the first place.

[ In her opinion, the Powers That Hijack owe her more than just allowing her to make peace and amends with her friends. Getting Angel back on track meant the world to her, but she really - desperately and hopelessly - wants to be there to see them conquer this fight. The Powers owe her that.

She's contacting the network - her fellow prisoners, she supposes - for a reason, and that's to learn. The one thing she's learnt over the years from being someone who saves the world is that research may be the most boring thing on the planet, but, by god, it's essential. ]

Can someone tell me more about this Freya? Her likes, dislikes, powers, whether she likes long, slow walks on the beach, whatever. [ ... ] Or point me in the direction of a good book. [ She misses Wesley. She's clicking her heels; she wants to go home. ]

Is this how it works...? Geez, why couldn't they have just given us normal phones?

I never thought my first time off the island would be like this. [A sigh can be heard following that statement and then some shuffling. It takes a few moments, but eventually the screen shows a young girl looking mildly happy with herself after getting the device to work, but also a bit confused as should be expected from someone who's just arrived.] Then again, I never really thought I'd be able to leave the island.


So, um, hi everyone. I guess I should probably introduce myself - I'm Wako Agemaki, it's nice to meet you all. I've been here for a few days now, but I'm still trying to get the hang of how this bracelet. That welcome letter was kind of weird, too. I wonder why we have to be the ones to preserve this place...


[Here is where her expression will become a little more solemn. She doesn't know if asking like this will work, but if she can find out where Takuto and Sugata are she would feel much better.] Oh, and if Takuto Tsunashi or Sugata Shindo are here, it would make me really happy to know where they are. I haven't seen either of them, yet and I'm kind of worried...


[The next sound to come from the video is a bit strange. It almost sounds like thunder, although the clear skies obviously indicate that is not what that sound is.] I guess I'm kind of hungry.

_{[There's a closeup of Kazumi's face at first, before she pulls away slightly, with a look of awe and curiosity on her face.]}

Whoah... this thing really works!? No way! I bet Nico would get a kick out of this.

Heya, everyone! My name's Kazumi, and it looks like I'm here to help restore the world... though I kind of wonder how that even works. I guess I'm going to find out soon enough, though.

_{[And at this point, there's a loud growling coming from the vicinity of Kazumi's stomach.]}

But first... I'm hungry! Where's the kitchen? I'll make everyone some of my grandma's strawberry risotto ♥!

_{(ooc: now with a log! feel free to tag in.)}

[And goggles have invaded your network.]

[Okay, Gumi backs off a bit, but nice introduction huh? It only gets stranger.]

Hooooooooy Asgard! Super space girl Gumi has arrived~! ★

[It’s hard to hear, but there’s almost something robotic about her voice. Maybe if she actually slowed down her speaking a bit and stopped bouncing around in excitement.]

Wow, okay this has to be the most polite alien abduction ever. These people are just so helpful. Even though the whole faceless thing was really weird. And the colors are kindof dreary. Never fear citizens! Gumi is here to assure you Gumi did not take any part in this abduction! Gumi is only a super cool observer on your planet! Abductions are mostly just weird and gross. Except this one. Gumi hasn’t seen anything gross yet!

Besides, Gumi always asks for permission!

[Um what was-]

Ah! Almost forgot the most important thing! Gumi is looking for the other Vocaloids and Big Brother. They’re very popular and easy to find, so any word would help Gumi a ton!

[Well, got that done with. Onto other important things.]

Right! Gumi has another goal too! Gumi wants to meet every single person here! Come say hi~! ★

[ What's up Asgardians. On this particular video feed, there is this stupid troll kid grinning a mile wide at all of you from her crosslegged seat on her bed. And she's got these sharp fangs and bright yellow sclera, some candy corn horns, and solid gray skin. Oh, and one of her eyes has seven (!!!!!!!) pupils.

Yeah, she is basically sort of hoping she freaks some people out. Being an alien sure has its benefits! ]

Okay, so let me get this straight. Whatever powers we had, we all lost them. Which, by the way, is still total bullshit! And it's all because of those fakey fake "gods" that keep telling us they're in charge. They kidnap us from all our homes and dump us here and take and take and take things from us, and they expect us to give them something in return!

What a load of hoofbeast shit. I ain't doing nothing for no fake gods! Instead I will just take advantage of the stuff they've given us and not give anything back. Sounds like a fair deal to me!

Oh, by the way. For all you humans just meeting your first alien, here is a tip. Don't grab our horns! [ YES WITNESS SHE IS REFERRING TO YOU. EVEN IF YOU AREN'T HUMAN. ] It's really rude! Kind of a cultural faux pas. You should all try to be a little bit more culturally sensitive! Jeez.

While I am here, I expect something in exchange for that tip! Why don't you all tell me whatever ridiculous "god house" you were put in? Hahahaha. So stupid.