[ someone is sitting on the kitchen floor, eating. a lot. alex stress eats because she can. or maybe its because she's so relieved that after dying she's not a ghost again. she doesn't realize that her bracelet is on as she takes a big swig from a bottle of some sort of brown liquor, making a face.]

Being struck by lightning kills you, who knew. [ the sarcasm is strong with this one. she makes an exacerbated face before stuffing another chocolate in her mouth, talking with her mouth full a bit (she chewed a little, okay?)] At least I'm not a bloody ghost again. [ swallow and she stares down at the next chocolate in her hand for a moment (are there tears welling up in her eyes? maybe.) before she unfolds her legs with a frown, tossing it in the trash.]

At least I've skipped over the shock, denial, and randiness stages straight into hunger. Hal can be glad he's not be here for the frothing rage bit. [ she reaches for something off camera and hits her bracelet which shuts off her device.]

[ the camera comes on to show alex sitting at a piano she found. don't ask where, she just managed to find one, and now she's sitting at it.] So while you lot were off fighting a war and I was stuck here, I decided to put my extra free time to good use and fine tune my piano skills. [ cue a big, charming smile.] I've always been quite good. [ please, everyone, spare her feelings.] So for all my fellow captives, this one's for you.

[ and if you go to 7:53 in this video you'll experience the song she's playing and just how horrible she actually is. but look at her face, she looks so pleased with herself as she plays. she honestly thinks she's good.]

It would seem that a majority of you have no idea how to properly address a King. I'm not sure if you were all raised in the wilds or if you're just willfully ignorant, but the correct way to refer to me is as Your Grace.

[He's still wearing his crown, even if almost no one here has actually cared about it so far. He's not going to stop dressing like a king just because people aren't treating him like one.]

Now that that's out of the way, I have a request: Could anyone tell me where I could obtain a sword? And a...'gun', it was called. I'm afraid I won't be of much help in the war effort without them.

[As if that's his primary reason for requesting these, but he'll pretend it is.]

Any aid provided will be rewarded in time. I don't forget my allies.

[ alex is not a happy camper. she looks disheveled and she's got a cut on her forehead. nothing seriously.]

What the bloody hell was that? [ she knows it was an earthquake, she's just never been in one before.] Em... do earthquakes happen a lot around here? [ she's still pretty new but no one told her about flippin earthquakes] By the way, the whole stand in the door frame trick is rubbish. [ she points to her wounded forehead with one finger, looking annoyed.]

Is everyone alright? [ by everyone, she means the people she cares about especially.]

[Contrary to popular belief, werewolves clean up real nice. Tom has even found a tie. And someone to tie it for him. He glances to someone just off camera, nods, and then stands up straighter, although you may see a quick flash of a smaller hand moving to straighten that tie of his. Off camera, you hear a familiar Scottish voice--]

Em… everyone, this is Tom McNair and he is looking for a job. He’s very qualified in the food and service industries. He’s been the head chef at several cafes and dog food...factories.

[ It might start to be clear that she’s reading from a paper because you can hear a pause as she stifles a wee laugh before you hear a ‘no’ at something on the list. She tosses the list and starts speaking from her heart/own words--]

Tom will give you everything he’s got, he’s very loyal, respectful, and a real go-getter. You won’t regret hiring him.

[Tom grins brightly, giving Alex a thumbs-up before remembering something else.]

Oi! Forgot to mention that I’ve got a CV now. Wrote it meself.

[He searches his pockets until he finds it, unfolding the piece of paper so that he can hold it up to the camera. In large printed letters across the top - Barry Grand Hotel - Ass Man. It takes a moment for Alex to notice what the paper says before she scrambles to cut the feed while trying to pull the paper from his hands as she says - 'Ass man, oh God" trying so hard to not to laugh anymore as the feed cuts.]

[ For those who ran into her at the mingle log, you'll see a happier Alex. She's wearing something different (NOT A DRESS) from what she came in and she's sitting in a room with a popsicle, which she's clearly been eating.]

So about that auction event... I reckon I should collect my winnings. I bid on two fellas. One with pretty hair [ and pretty body ] and his name is... Gwaine, I think. [ Which sounds familiar for some reason...] And a skinny bloke with the same first name as his last name... Stiles or something.

I'm pretty sure they owe me dates now, isn't that how it works? [ She's never done a date auction before, she just stumbled upon the one she had. Lucky here.]

Em, but if either of you are vampires, then let's just call it a day. I'd rather avoid the fangy lot if I can. [ Except for Hals. All Hals are allowed.]