[From the moment the video turns on, it's clear that the subject of this broadcast doesn't realize he's being recorded. It's none other than Gerome, identified easily by the mask and haphazard spikes of hair. He's crouched over the bathtub in the bathroom, sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he works at rubbing a loofah over a small wyvern.

Scratching sounds come from the porcelain but Gerome pays it no mind, continuing to scrub down the flying lizard as he murmurs to her- almost unintelligible on the camera.]

Who's a good wyvern? It's Minervykins! You have to be nice and clean though- playing in the mud makes your beautiful scales all dark and dirty. [The lizard gives a little screech in happiness, lifting up one of her arm-wings so he can scrub underneath.]

[Then the feed wobbles for a second, moving closer bit by bit, and Inigo sticks his head in the frame, grinning.]

Now that looks like real friendship! Maybe our buddy Gerome here could learn how to show a little of that camaraderie to his other friends, huh? That scary mask covers a soft, squishy heart!

[At the noise, the wyvern rider turns and notices Inigo in the hallway. His expression behind the mask quickly changes- from surprised, to embarrassed, to... very, very angry.]

Why you- !

[And he stumbles up to race after the poor mercenary, intent on tackling him to the ground. The video feed goes akimbo and shuts off a moment later.]

[There's a moment where Alvin actually pauses to comb his hair back into place as a hand finds a few strands ... well, sticking up in different directions. He grins afterward, shrugging like he can't help himself, and then he sits down heavily in a chair conveniently placed so he can do this transmission. He looks weary, and relaxes back against his seat.]

I was hoping to keep my handsome face off the network a little bit longer. After all, there's just too much competition for me to be so proudly displayed for all to see. But seeing as we're missing some people, I think it might be all right. Too many men and woman won't swoon at the sight of me and thus forget exactly what they're saying.

[There's a moment where he pauses.]

Not that there haven't been a few conversations here and there, just in case you're wondering ... I am doing my job as a good citizen of Asgard.

[And another pause.]

But the reason why I'm here today is to suggest we make a list of our lost ones, just in case people are looking for them amidst all this. And to see if there's a way of making sure of it. I don't know about you, but I don't check my friends' living quarters all the time.

To get this list started, I'll name a couple myself: Jude Mathis and the Great Milla Maxwell.

[ text ]

edit: missing list

Minerva
Gerome
Henry
Milla Maxwell
Jude Mathis
Souji Seta
Guy with an Ostrich
Merlin
Arthur Pendragon
Morgana Pendragon

[Inigo has been a little wary of broadcasting anything too publicly, especially since he doesn't quite know how, but he's pretty sure he's got it down now - and more importantly, he doesn't think any enemies are here, so it's probably safe. Safe-ish.

He grins, wide and happy.]

Looks like we've got some newcomers! That was me, not so long ago, so I know how rough it can be! Anyway, it occurred to me that this thing could be really useful, and, fool that I am, I'd completely missed it. There's something absolutely vital that I need to do here.

[He leans in, half-serious for a moment. Then a wink, and his grin broadens.]

Ladies. Newcomers and those who have been here for awhile! I've noticed the plethora of attractive young maidens crowding this place. I'm Inigo, and I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. As you can see, I'm handsome, young, and single! If any of you ever gets lonely or bored, or wants to trade in your old and boring boyfriend for a newer and more fun one, come find me! I'll show you a good time, like... uh... a walk in the park? Or something?

[He clears his throat, recovering from that complete failure to think of anything romantic and exciting.]

Anyway! You know where to find me. [Cheesy wink.]

I hope everyone who's sick gets better. I wish there was more I could do. Back home, if I still had my hair's power, I could help. But it doesn't work here in Asgard, since my power here is drawing life instead. I'm not sure how much I might be able to help, but I could maybe offer to help at the clinic or hospital if basic first aid helps or something? I guess I just....feel pretty helpless with all of this, right now.

Everyone, just try to keep an eye on each other, okay? I'm sure the gods are doing what they can and looking into this so we can fix it. Just hang on until then.

[And with that, Rapunzel ends the feed, a small part of her still grateful for Eugene's paranoia and stopping her drinking the water.]