You know, if I was a god, I'd really be a lot more picky when it came to the selection process.  I mean, really, as productive as talking about wedding cakes, unscrambling word puzzles, and making lists is, I think I'd be better off reeling in bunch of trained monkeys.  They be more productive and generally more pleasant to be around.  

No offense.

But I guess instead, these gods are going to settle for mutant children and unruly teenagers.  

Good luck making use of that for your relief efforts.  Maybe the flooding was punishment for the lack of total competency in this place.

Also.  I have an important question.  Do the gods here take human sacrifices?  That might help with the supply shortage problem.  Also the annoying surplus of orphans.

[The video opens with a rather put-out looking Ianto standing, frowning at the camera. Dressed in his pajamas with his hands on his hips. He has put up with Jack!River and River!Jack all day. He has dealt with their insufferable flirting and their sickening charm and the confusion of looking at Jack's face and seeing someone else's eyes staring back at him. But enough is enough, hence the start of this video post.]

But it's my bed! [He motions in front of him, where Jack!River and River!Jack look pretty at home and relaxed, curled up in the large four-poster that is normally where he and Jack sleep at night. Normally. He is tired and he's having none of this anymore. He gestures angrily at the camera, which he has obviously turned on, and back at them.] Someone, tell them that it's my bed. Where do you expect me to be sleeping then, exactly?

[Not-Jack-but-actually-River reaches out a hand and, with a charming but definitely River-esque smile, pats the space in between them.]

Your bed? [It's River's face, but the arched eyebrow, cocked head, and amused smirk are 100% Jack Harkness. He knows Ianto's testy and tired, and he's even aware that he and River may have been pushing things a little much since Ianto called him back to the house, so he stays comfortably curled on the bed for the moment, leaning back against a pillow in a pose that nicely shows off his new curves, teasing from afar.] What happened to it being our bed? Did I lose claim to it when I lost my own body? [His amused gaze flicks over to catch River-in-Jack's eyes (and if looking at his own face when he's not the one inside it is weird for Jack, he doesn't give a single clue) for a moment, and then glances at the camera.]

Jack. [Ianto's face is red, from embarrassment and confusion and exhaustion.] You can't honestly expect... [Wait a minute, yes he can, this is Jack Harkness we are talking about.] With... With the two of you like this? [he stutters, motioning between them, indicating not their state of dress (surprisingly, they have managed to remain clothed thus far) but their current state of, well, each other.]

Liiiiiike...? [He draws out the word, expectant, and it sounds odd in River's higher pitched voice. And then River's speaking in his own lower tones.]

I believe, dear, he's referring to the fact that you're not quite yourself. [The lilt and tease to her tone is definitely distinct, despite the deep note, but the entertained shine to her gaze looks right at home in Jack's blue eyes.]

Oh? [His eyebrow arches even higher, and there's a wicked tinge to the way his lips pull into a smirk. Oh he has an answer for that, thank you, and it's clear he's going to enjoy giving it.] Considering his exact words to me were "Jack Harkness, get your arse back here," I'd say I'm exactly myself, regardless of whose body I'm in. But- maybe we should take a poll. [And then sharp eyes are pinning the camera once more, and this time he speaks directly to it.] After all, Ianto connected to the network for a reason, right? What do you think? Should a man be barred from his own bed just because he woke up in someone else's body?

[Nevermind that the 'man' asking the question is, in fact, currently a woman, and this is not the body Ianto's used to sharing a bed with.]

[Ianto stands still for a moment regarding the pair of them. He doesn't even have the energy to roll his eyes anymore. And he knows that he can't win, here. So he simply responds:] ...I'll sleep on the couch.

((ooc: backdated to when jack and river have switched bodies. in case it isn't clear, red is ianto, blue is jack, and green is river.))

[The video pops on revealing the room the Doctor and River share at Thor 103. There is a figure standing in front of a mirror, a young woman. She looks at herself in the mirror putting lipstick on and straightening the leather jacket she put on. Someone who knows the female inhabitant of that room may notice that the clothes she wears all belong to River Song.

Then she turns around, her long braided hair whipping behind her and closes in on the camera.]

So now you decide to transmit, eh? It's just as well.

[She smirks, showing a set of white and perfect teeth.]

Anyone care to tell me where I am? Just woke up in this bed and the last thing I remember isn't exactly getting into it.

Where did you guys hide Hitler? It was just starting to get funny, you know?

Doctor? Amy? Rory? You can come out now, 's not a good joke at all.

[Attentive viewers may notice that the video is transmitted by River Song. Odd, isn't it?]

[With the fighting giants just outside the city, the school burning down, the funeral showing the sheer number of those lost. She is holding the vorpal sword she created not so long ago in her lap.]

His majesty, King Arthur, was teaching me how to use the vorpal sword to protect myself. But now that he's gone, I'm without a good teacher.

Would someone please be so kind to teach me how to use a sword?

[Tris sounds tense. She had so many questions in mind when she first arrived that she never got around to taking to the network. Now's not the time for any of them, except this one.]

So destruction and fighting and everything aside. Does anyone know... how long someone can stay uhm. Passed out in a coma? I know some people dream of what's happening at home like that but how long does it normally last?

Perhaps I should have done this much sooner. I don't know what compelled me not to. The idea of 'second chance', perhaps. But it's been brought to my attention by one Harry Potter that some people might not deserve a second chance. I don't want to judge one way or the other, but information? Information I can give.

Severus Snape is the founder and headmaster of the school here in Asgard, named after a great man, Albus Dumbledore. Both of them are from my world, although I've unfortunately never had the opportunity to really get to know Albus overly well as myself. He didn't care much for the likes of me growing up.

On the other hand, I know Severus Snape fairly well, although I won't deny that he's a complex person. Two years older than me, I've rarely met anyone who'd be a match for him in creativity and cruelty. Although I'm not and never was the type to look up to anyone, if I was, it might have been to him. I've seen him kill, maim and torture. I've heard him come up with plans and ideas to effectively cause the greatest suffering to the most people. I've met many cruel men and women in my time, but never anyone who'd combine such destructive energy with such cold logic. In his defense - perhaps? - it never seemed as if he took much pleasure from killing or hurting.

What he does take pleasure in is establishing his superiority, abusing his powers - whatever they might be - to make others feel weak. I've experienced it in person both back in my world and here. I've seen him use it against others, like his victims and his students, countless times. Just recently someone we both taught at one point, Neville Longbottom, arrived here and confirmed my suspicion that he never found it necessary to reign in these urges.

This man has not only killed and tortured, but even once he'd seemingly abandoned that path, the psychological terror never stopped. I am not surprised that he'd start a school here. What better way to access young and fictile minds?


I'm aware that many might not see it fit to believe me. Mr Longbottom might perhaps be easier trusted. I'm sure he has no reason to keep anyone concerned from the truth. Others from my world might have more motive to hold on to some grudges while brushing over others. War always has many sides and each tries to shape the truth to their advantage. I've merely stated facts.

Oh, and before I forget. Draco Malfoy, whatever is it that you did or promised to do to earn a place I doubt you deserve?


[ooc: When two Death Eaters fight, all of Asgard can come in and enjoy themselves. Choose sides or just eat popcorn! Also: There will be a destructive plot involving the school this month, keep your eyes on the ooc comm for that.]

[ ....








Again.

That same expression. Those same eyes. So very wide. Bright. Curious. There. She's here. Again.

Amy Pond is back. ]

Oh, brill'.

[ A sigh. Let's go through the drill: ] Skin and bones with the nose? Bowtie? [ This is where you say 'polo.' ]

[ Hello, Asgard, this is probably a very familiar face by now! Only-- Wait.

There's something wrong.

1. He's soaked. Not so much that he's dripping water (except for from his hair, a bit), but all the same. 2. He probably looks on the younger side. 3. The bow tie is gone and in its place there's a regular tie. What?

As he realises it's recording, a grin spreads on his face and he raises a hand to ... tap at the screen. Not that there's a screen you can tap, as such. ]

You know, thing about hologram screens is that you can't really tap them. Isn't that a shame?

Hello! This is a sort of network, yeah? I'm talking to people now? I hope so, because I have a very, very important question.

[ Clears throat.

Dramatic pause. And then he gets distracted because he has to burp regeneration energy. But he doesn't even react to it, and just continues. ]

Does anyone know where I can get an apple? Or happen to have an apple you can give to me? I really want an apple. Love an apple.

[ Doctor, out. ]

((OOC: The Eleventh Doctor has been cursed for one day! There's a catch-all log for it here with a scenario anyone can jump in, but it's also there if anyone would like to do something else. Feel free to prod me at Tossino, AIM @ thetossedone or through PM if there's anything you'd like to doooo.))

[ The morning's fierce thunderstorm may have calmed, but the unnatural silence that has fallen over the city brings little peace. Even the white noise of the rain is constant and heavy enough to fade from Travelers' awareness; it is the sort of quiet that begs one to break it, that drags out each successive moment for longer and longer.

That night, Heimdall addresses the network. He holds himself more formally than usual, shoulders back and chin up, gaze level into the feed as if he's meeting every Traveler's eyes directly. There's an air of authority about him and quiet certainty in his voice when he speaks. It's not strange by any means, but it's different enough that those who have spoken to him prior will know something has happened -- something that will affect them all. ]

Good evening, Travelers. I do hope this reaches you in safety. Certainly, this storm is no mere weather, and its mainspring...

[ Heimdall breathes in and seems to make a decision. He will tell the Travelers more than his King would approve of, in the hopes of ensuring their support. There has been enough conflict recently, arguments and placation, things for which they can no longer spare the time or energy. ]

Odin is gone. Shielding Asgard from Yggdrasil's collapse has taxed our King profoundly, and he has fallen into a sleep from which he cannot be woken. I ask of your patience as we await his recovery, and through any changes his rest may bring. Thor, Prince-Regent and heir, will reign in his father's absence.

I'm certain many of you have questions. While I will endeavor to respond, please realize there is much to be done at the moment. Thank you for your cooperation in this difficult time.

[Turlough looks...well, slightly fidgety.]

I know this might be a stupid question. But what all do you give someone on Valentine's Day-either on your world or on Asgard? Dates are out of the question because of her...job, but I'd like to give her something anyway. I've had girlfriends before, but that was ages ago and we didn't really do Valentine's Day like you lot do it. [because whooo aliens!] And when I was on Earth, most of the time was spent in an English public school-not of my own choosing, mind you. [by the little scrunched up expression on his face, it's pretty obvious what Turlough thinks of English public school (it sucks.)]

So while I'm no stranger to the subject of love, I...sort of am to gifts. [it took him a lot of strength to admit that and now he's frowning a bit.] Any help would be appreciated.

[Hello there, Asgard. Clara normally avoids using the network, just because she doesn't think it really works with making her not feel awkward and weird, but she's decided to break her rule of not using it all that often in order to get a message out there, and also ask a couple of things.

Unsure of how to just jump into talking, she reaches up to tuck hair behind her ear, awkwardly waving and smiling as she does so.]

Right, so, first off -

[There's a pause, and she hesitates, bringing her hand up toward her mouth so she can bite at her pinkie.]

Figure I ought to let anyone that heard I was gone know I'm back.

[Another pause, and her eyes shift off to the left. Then the right. Awkward.]

Obviously.

[Another pause, and she chuckles a bit, just because she really needs to get better at talking over these things.]

Also, had a bit of a question for the lot of you. I could use a distraction or two, and was wondering if any of the adults out there might be interested in English language or literature lessons? Free of charge, of course, just something fun to pass the time in between nearly being killed.

[Her smile becomes more warm now, and her talking more at ease, her mannerisms much more animated as she eases into subjects she enjoys talking about.]

And on that incredibly studious note, I'm also looking for someone who might be able to help me with my growth power. I've been to the library here and there looking for any information I can find on plants, and always seem to find things too broad to be of much use. Any help anyone can provide will be repaid one way or another.

[And not sure what else there is to say or how to end this, she brings a hand up to give a little salute as a sign off, and cuts things there.]

 [Irving is sitting relaxed and calm in front of the camera.]

Well. Since we're back, and well done everyone, and we're all engaged in new projects, I would like to announce on of my own and... [He smiles affectionately.] Romana's... A radio station. 

You may have noticed it in Freyr and it seemed such a shame to let it go fallow, so we fixed it up and, with the generous assistance of our native friends, left a few absolutely free radios in the Welcome Halls of the various gods and some for sale in the electrical shops all across the city, if you should decide to get one of your own!

A radio station is no two man job, however, and as such, I would like to invite you to contribute. I want this to be a real community project. Anything that can fill airtime, be it gossip or music or whatever, I shall be delighted to hear your ideas. 

[There are rather dark circles under this Doctor's eyes, but he carries on as if he's not exhausted. As always, he's leaning forward. At attention.]

First, I want to say that I'm quite proud of the efforts in Alfheim. You really pulled together as teams. Not only did you have excellent leadership, but everyone kept their heads. Pat yourselves on the back if you didn't blister it.

Second: I'm going to talk a bit about love and loss. Hot topics these days, seems like.
( and he rambles at length )

[The video clicks on showing a close up of a woman's green eyes and then moves away showing her face and curly blonde hair, lots of it. She is smiling, pleased to see that the video is working.]

Hello, Asgard. Pleased to meet all of you. My name is River Song.

[But she isn't here just to introduce herself to the world.]

I have a request, actually. It'd be very nice if anyone looking for employees would reply to this so we can have a little chat, as I am looking for employment at the moment.

I am rather flexible and don't have any particular preferences. Up to anything, really.

Thank you. Just give me a call.

[With a wink, the feed ends ...]

[Filtered from the Eleventh Doctor]

[... but not really. There is just a little more.]

Oh, and I'd really appreciate pointers to a place that sells guns and other weaponry.

See you around.

[She blows a kiss at the camera and then she is gone.]

[The feed opens in a Sigyn park, before it pans up. The bracelet appears to be Souji's, and Ellie is sitting close by on a bench, wearing a strange plant-like clothing. Sandy is using her as a pillow. There is a No Voldemort / Tom Riddle allowed sign painted next to everything.

Souji waves as the screen, with a half-grin, looking much more serious than usual. Despite the preparations, he's not usually the one doing the first introductions in a group, Yosuke usually did. There's so much to speak about too...]

Hello. [That's a good way to start right?] My name is Souji Seta. This is Ellie-kun and Sandy-san... [He points to them and pans the view a little before returning to him.] ...we're from house Sigyn.

( The message in full (Public to everyone BUT You-Know-Who, get your lackeys to find this for you. )

( Private to the Sigyn House (both Growth and Healers) )

[OOC Note; Just to be sure, this post happens after it is decided to go and help out.]

Hello citizens of Asgard. Or whatever you consider yourself. Interesting thought actually, do you get citizenship when kidnapped and forced to live here or are we in an entirely different category? Forced tourist perhaps? Unwilling immigrant? Something like that.

[He clicks his tongue as he carefully contemplates how to word what he wants to word next. He already knows certain people have their eyes on him so he best play nice. And carefully censor himself from others]

Anyway, we should probably start with introductions. I'm Harold Saxon, you can call me Harry. [He waves playfully to the video, keeping his tone light.] And I'm exceptionally bored. Who wants to amuse me?

[Filters from the Who cast just because.]

I've been here for a few months now, give or take, and from what I gather this place is very big on the whole magic thing. Powers, ruins and all that jazz seems to take centre stage. Am I right? But I have a question, if you'll humour me, does anyone else prefer the sciences and technology still? I get that magic runs smoother and yeah, the powers aren't a bad addition, but you can't argue with the wonders of technology. [You can, actually, but you shouldn't. Cause you'd be wrong.]

Which leads me to my next question, has anyone got anything here that's in dire need of fixing or tuning up? Basically, I could use some pocket money so if anyone wants anything fixed or even made, within reason, I'm very interested. Trading is also welcomed too, I'm sure I can make a good offer. I usually do.

[Insert amazingly bright politician style smile here. He doesn't care what he can get his hands on, he just seriously wants to see what people have and what potential there is to exploit. Maybe convince some people to share.]

On an unrelated matter, do politicians even exist in an Asgardian society? Just curious. Vikings hardly seemed the sort to promote law, order, diplomacy and sociological ideals. I only ask because outside of sciences, that's my only other skill and I'm trying to find a job that won't bore me to death. No offence, of course, I could just never stand menial drudgery.