[The video feed starts abruptly, showing a young man with a burn scar marring the left side of his face. He bows shallowly, then straightens without breaking eye contact with the camera even once.]

I am Ren Hakuryuu, Third Prince of the Kou Empire. I request an audience with the gods, specifically the patron of Hel house. I thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

[This has all been horrendously confusing. When the video comes on, it's to the curious face of a young, pretty metrosexual looking guy. A teenager, clearly, and one who's currently in the park in the dwindling sunset.]

This is kind of like a BBS, right? Or a chat room?

It's kinda cool, but this is all cliche, isn't it? I've watched a lot of sci-fi movies, and this is really overdone! I know I'm a handsome, desirable protagonist, but this is a really lame set-up for a movie! I didn't even find any cool clues to foreshadow it!

[He smiles, and laughs, but still looks a little disoriented despite the enthusiastic gesturing that accompanies his speech.]

And anyway, girls with no faces aren't as nice! They don't even smile or blush! The only person I've seen who was interesting at all was a weird old man trying to warn me about something. Not sexy at all!

But I bet there's some cute girls around, right? Other people like me? If you're pretty and looking for a good time, answer this ASAP! It's of vital importance!