W31RD QU3ST1ON!
BUT DO3S 4NYON3 H4V3 4 T4RP 1 COULD US3
1 C4N P4Y FOR 1T

[Locked to trolls, minus Eridan (not sorry)]

[The video feed starts up, and she's sitting crosslegged on the floor of her room at Loki's Welcome Hall, looking somber. There are blood-blue bags arcing under her eyes, and if anyone looks down far enough to recognize the pattern of rainbow scalemates, it becomes fiercely apparent that she's not wearing pants.

If nothing else, she looks rather... worn.] Is anyone else having... problems?

-- Blarrr, stupid question! I can smell the tension in the air. It's disgusting! I originally thought that it was some kind of troll affliction, but it seems to be more widespread than that! [A pause, and then she appears to stare blankly past the camera.]

I received something, from the apple trees, that I think will be useful to more than just me. [Terezi turns, just enough so a recuperacoon comes into view. It's fat and a bluish-purple colour, bright green slime shining through the windows.] Anyone can use it if they need to, so long as they shower first. [Making a face, she sticks her tongue out at the thought of your nasty naked bodies filthying her slime.] And keep your fucking bulges where they belong, or I'll personally cut them off!

[If anyone asks her why she isn't just using it for herself, well. That would be kind of hard to explain. The problem is she's just too afraid to be alone with her lusus, with the violent urges growing progressively stronger and darker. She's been sleeping at Dave's apartment, trying to be alone with the egg as little as possible.]

Whatever you decide! Let me know. [And then the feed goes dead.]

Day 296

[After a strange and painful day Karkat woke up in the dark.

He should have been used to it. He woke up in the darkness of Alternia for six sweeps. But as soon as his sponge cleared and he remembered where he was, this new darkness was very disconcerning.

It took him a few blinks to realize he was blind.


After frantically calling out for Terezi, he fell off the bed he was sleeping on. His arms were shaking and he almost laughed with the irony of the situation. Maybe he had contracted her blindness.

He fumbled at his bracelet, managing to press a button. He was hoping for an audio post; he got it on the third try after repeatedly pressing what he assumes was the text post button. The network better know what's going on.]

Okay so I'm blind. I think. I can't see for shit. Someone could be literally stripping naked very silently like a stripper who majored in mime and I would have no fucking clue there were dangling bags of meat in front of me. Fucking blind as fuck! I don't know what happened or what the fuck to do or really how I'm going to reply to any of you fuckers. Maybe one of you will be helpful and come save me from the latest wretched horror that's descended upon my existence before I fall down a flight of stairs and knock my teeth out.

[The video flickers to life, a close up shot on a young, gray face. Karkat fiddled off screen for a few seconds, seemingly unaware that the whole Network was watching. Then his orange eyes light up, and he stares into the camera, the look of surprise quickly fleeting and turning into the default pissed off expression.]

Alright, listen up. I got a story for you numbnubs, and pay attention and sharpen your pencils because there's going to be a fucking pop quiz at the end.

So I was walking around town earlier--yeah I fucking went outside, and if I hear one goddamn comment about it you'll be looking at a lifetime commitment of having your head shoved up your ass--I was outside earlier and I saw this bag in a dumpster outside of the living quarters. And fuck me sideways the bag was filled with movies! How eerily coincidental, if this wasn't the real world I'd think it was some sort of plot device. [he clears his throat, then leans out of the picture for a moment to pick up three battered looking VHS tapes.]

So I got these three that look the least nauseating. I don't know anything about them, so I guess I'm looking for a bit of a review before I bring them back to Nepeta and Equius' hive. Uhhh--[He looks at the VHS tapes, one by one.] We've got 'Deep Impact', 'The Lion King', and ....uh...'Romeo + Juliet'?

I guess I'm just wondering which one will make me hurl the least. [The broadcast ends abruptly with a sneer.]

Citizens of Asgard. I come bearing only grave news this day. What I believe to be a spy, lurking in our very midst.

[ The camera pans over to a bound and gagged individual that some may in fact recognize from the tail end of the Utgard excursion. ]

He has aroused the suspicions of many with his peculiar behavior. The natives themselves have been able to confirm he is not one of them, as he has tried claiming.

Presently, he can be found in the custody of myself and Sir Gwaine. I wish to seek the council of everyone before we reach the city proper as it is a matter which undeniably concerns the safety of us all.

But as for myself, I would vote for execution to follow his questioning. I have seen firsthand what may happen with prisoners during war. They conspire to escape and wreak further havoc, squandering mercy and endangering good men.

(ooc: edited in-character to clarify.

don't forget about the poll going on. if you've already voted but your character's opinion has been swayed in this post then simply update your vote!)

It hadn't been a great day for him so far.

He had just arrived in Asgard, and though he had met the Maid and had things explained to him, she might as well have not bothered. He had been having too much of a panic attack at the time to properly listen, and afterwards had locked himself in the nearest bathroom for about an hour to calm down (which is to say he cried until his eyes hurt and his cheeks were stained with trails of red).

He had been so close, so close, to seeing the end of this game, and poof; he's zapped away to some different planet/reality/time-line to help some bogus Gods win another stupid war that he couldn't care less about.

Or at least that's what he assumed. He couldn't hear much above the rushing of blood and pounding of his bloodpusher in his ear tubes while that bitch was explaining everything.

Then, then; the real cherry on the top of this fucknugget parfait: he couldn't remember his block number. It was as if the woman hadn't told him at all. So, after wandering around the city for a few hours, he followed others from the Freya house back into the lodgings. He waited for everyone to fall asleep, then snuck into an empty room and cuddled up under the bed. Literally under the bed. That's when the real fun happened.

Daymares. Lots of them. It was all around awful. And when he woke up he was in the Loki district with a bloody and broken nose. This new adventure was going just great.

Luckily Nepeta--a Nepeta who hadn't been beaten to death by a crazy horn-bearing blundering clown, he hopes--got past his atrociously crabby attitude and promised to meet him in the lobby to fix his nose. Or at least he hoped she did. She never really said.

While sitting on a bench in the little front room area of the communal house, he fiddled around with his shiny new toy--the bracelet. He hadn't done much with it, yet. It seemed ridiculously stupid, like something Strider would alchemize for the irony of a fashion accessory that also doubled as a high-powered computer. He toggled through the settings until he figured out how to make a post. Might as well make himself known to whoever else might be out there.

ATTENTION ALL TROLLS
YOUR LEADER HAS RETURNED.
I KNOW MOST OF YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE IT, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO WERE SO FUCKING UPSET WITH MY INCOMPARABLE LEADERSHIP SKILLS IN THE FIRST PLACE, BUT I BELIEVE MY TIME AS RULER OVER YOU HAS RE-COMMENCED.
I AM CURRENTLY IN THE FREYA HOUSE. I THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA IF WE GET TOGETHER TO MAKE AN ESCAPE PLAN. OR AT LEAST SOME SORT OF PLAN THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE MINGLING WITH THE LOCALS. I'M PRETTY SURE THEY'RE ALL ALIENS AND ALSO IDIOTS AND WE SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM THEM.
OH AND THE SBURB HUMANS CAN COME TOO. I GUESS I CAN SEE THEM AS SOMEWHAT COMPETENT AND MIGHT BE OF USE TO BREAKING OUT OF THIS WRETCHED CITY.

And now he waits.

OKAY, FUCK IT.

I WAS HERE A FEW TIMES BEFORE? GREAT. JUST REMEMBER THAT ANYTHING THAT I MAY HAVE DONE BEFORE DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME IMPACT ON ME NOW. IF THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT I NEED TO KNOW, THEN FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU BETTER LET ME KNOW.

ONLY FORGET ABOUT IT. YOU'VE PROBABLY ALREADY TOLD ME. WHATEVER. NOT GONNA LIE, IT'S KIND OF MORE TO TAKE IN THAN I WOULD HAVE HOPED.

[There's a pause.]

SO, WHAT SHOULD SOMEONE DO IF THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A JOB? LIKE TO KILL TIME OR WHATEVER.
WHERE SHOULD THEY GO? WE BETTER NOT BE BOUND TO DISTRICTS OR WHATEVER. THAT WOULD BE STUPID.

[ Jade's voice is chipper but seriously congested; she has apparently contracted the Cold from Hell, and she is absolutely aware of how ridiculous she sounds. For the record, she is also abjectly miserable. Girl didn't catch a lot of illnesses on an island all by herself growing up. ]

I lost my bracelet, in case anyone was wondering where I went. [ She sniffles severely. ] I don't think Draco told anyone, so I promise I haven't been ignoring anyone, I've just been a little indisposed.

But the decorations that are up now are nice! And- [ She sniffles again, whines softly. ] -and if anyone wants some nice winter flowers or anything like that, let me know, I'm afraid my powers are starting to get a little rusty.

[ She ends the feed, then starts it almost immediately again: ]

And what the hell are you supposed to make your nose unstuffy? This is hard to breathe and it fucking sucks. [ Jade swallows, begins to speak again, sneezes hard, and just ends the feed entirely. ]

[ The video comes on, focusing on a tiny fairybull trussed up in festive holiday wear (probably made for a chihuahua) attempting to trot around in custom made sneakers. It's not going terribly well. He keeps kicking up and flapping around and attempting to land again, kicking his feet, and then flying again.

Tavros is trying not to laugh. ]

Well, you didn't like the snow, on your hooves. So, you're going to have to get used to it.

[ That moment of embarrassment captured, he spins the camera back around to face himself. ]

I actually had something to say, but, he started doing that and I thought that, I would share first. [ He grins wide, showing off all those teeth. ] I just wanted to know, how you celebrate this holiday. I understand that there are gifts, and red and white, and also, reds and greens, but how else do you do it?

Not that I, don't already know. But I thought that, it would be nice to hear from, actual humans, and not just stories.

Since we have a lot of new people arriving, I thought I would post some information about Asgard and what has happened to us here since the arrival of the first travellers 189 days ago! Long-time Travellers, keep reading! There’s something you haven’t heard about yet too.

Firstly, Castiel-san has updated Sam-san’s list of god-granted abilities and what each ability is and what we know of what it is capable of. You can find it here! While it’s mostly complete, there were some powers that no-one volunteered to help Castiel-san with information about. If you can fill in the gaps, please talk to him! If you want to talk to people with your power or just get advice on using it, then Merlin-san’s Teacher’s Council may be for you! Look out for an announcement from him or contact him directly with questions.

Secondly, what has happened in Asgard. As you can see, a lot of volunteers worked on this! We’re still working on making it as complete as possible, so if you want to help, let me know! I’m especially interested in someone who experienced the battle and someone who served as a healer writing up their impressions of the battle.

And the new-news I promised! There’s been a lot of talk about research lately, or at least the lack of it, so you might be surprised to know that the Forensics Unit at the hospital is attempting to find scientific explanations for the phenomena we encounter in Asgard! We recently concluded a study as to how our god-given powers are activated. Using the hospital’s EEG and MRI machines, we searched for any increase in brain activity while our test subject used their powers. We were unable to detect any difference from normal brain activity. This held true, no matter the power, age, gender or species of Traveller. It took us a while to complete this study, because the Traveller leading it, Charles Xavier-san (not the same Charles Xavier currently in Asgard) was returned, and of course we dealt with numerous attacks on the city in the interim. I’ve attached the full report as a file for anyone interested! We’d especially like to hear from any scientists currently in Asgard who might be interested in joining our department. Although formed in response to suspicious activity, we’ve since widened our outlook to include the examination of anything that will benefit Travellers. If you’re interested, please contact me or Detective Kate Beckett.

Other ways to learn more about our situation include the Teacher’s Council, as I already mentioned, or Grimoire's Sigil – Aladdin-kun is leading research into Asgard’s original Rune Magic. There’s a lot to learn here, and any interested parties are welcome to join in.

If research isn’t for you, consider The Citadel! Arthur-san’s guard teach a variety of weapon-based and non-weapon-based combat. Pendragon-san also offers lectures on War at regular intervals.

If that’s not your thing either, then maybe you’d like to help O’Brien and me with our emergency supply kits! We need volunteers to help us gather supplies then sort them into the kits which are distributed to Welcome Halls and stations all over Asgard. We especially would like volunteers with Drawing Life!

If you’ve got a healing power, then either the Sigyn Hospital or the Yakuzen Clinic Heimdall are good places to get practical experience using your power! You don’t have to talk to anyone at the hospital, just go to reception. And Watson-sensei and Castiel-san have regular first-aid classes at the Yakuzen Clinic.

If I’ve forgotten anything, please let me know! (Koizumi-san, I don’t want to hear you say it.)

((ooc: if I have html/link fail, ooc you want to be in on this but aren't sure how or have a group you want a shout out for, let me know!))

[Why had it taken him five days for this accidental video to crop up? He had been certain something had been wrong and had not been willing to yet attempt to fire a bow. He had wanted to be sure everything was ok. But now, whatever was going on, he felt the need. He hadn't shot anything from a bow in almost a week.

The compulsion was irritating.

The feed turns on as it seems he's put his bracelet off next to him and pulled a bow. He has the weapon drawn and at the ready, and in that moment there's a shaking of tension in his arm. His eyes widen. Something looks horribly wrong and he looks at the bow in shock. He looks briefly very nervous and then he growls and sets his teeth on edge, lifting the bow a fraction more before firing. He misses the target entirely.

The troll looks about to cry.]

I...

I did it!

[The feed cuts in at the Heimdall Welcome Hall, and a troll that may be familiar to several individuals appears on the screen.]




WELP.

THIS SURE IS GREAT.

I LOVE BEING UPROOTED FROM ONE SHITTY SITUATION TO ANOTHER, MORE ASININE ONE. MOST DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE THING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. ASK ANYONE.

SO, WHAT? I GUESS I LIVE HERE NOW?? WHATEVER. I THINK I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SAYING HELLO TO EVERYBODY, BUT I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY.

[Karkat probably doesn't have time to actually say anything because there's suddenly a shout.] Karkat? Karkat! [The video feed is probably a blur of motion with lots of greys, blacks, and reds. There's a face that hasn't been around recently. Aradia has bounded over to Karkat and is basically invading all his personal space.]

When did you get here? Have you talked to Sollux or anyone else? A lot of our friends are here you know! You have to tell me what point of the timeline you're from.

[Aradia had lost her bracelet and is pretty much oblivious to what's been happening as of late.] I guess we got here at the same time! I mean I was here earlier but I lost my bracelet hehe.

ARADIA, STOP. I ONLY GOT LIKE HALF OF THAT--

HANG ON.

[The feed is cut.]


(( Grey is Karkat, Red is Aradia.))

[It's about two hours after Samantha met Gamzee for the first time. She's got a splitting headache and a nasty snarl on her face as she's holding an ice pack to her head. Her original intent in setting this post up is to make this a private post to the troll, but either because of that splitting headache, the fact that she's not 100% sure which is his account or just being in an angry rush, she's not getting the privacy thing quite right. So everyone gets to hear her cuss that looks at the video.]

Hey! Gamzee!

Round one, you dumbass, troglodyte clown. You win round one. The next time you try to wang me over the head, you bloody well swing better than a gimp chimpanzee or you're going to regret it. You hear me, motherfucker? I'm going to find you one of these days and re-arrange that ugly little face of yours until you can't recognize it in a mirror.

[First and foremost, we have Gamzee, snickering quietly into the feed and holding up one finger in front of his mouth, signaling his audience to stay quiet. Karkat can be heard complaining in the background, seemingly unaware that they are being recorded...]

I don't know why you want to do this. I should never let you have ideas. You're fucking retarded, do you know that? You have to know that by now. I've told you enough for you to know that.

[He steps up and away from his bracelet (which has been hidden ever-so-discreetly among his blanket pile), revealing not only his moirail, who he joins in the background of the shot, but a wide triangle of horns, sitting upright on their bells.]

Aw, come on now, brother! You know this is being what all is a GREAT motherfuckin' idea! Besides, you already up and motherfuckin' promised a brother, remember?

[In Karkat's hands lies a medium-sized rubber ball, probably a kickball or something of the sort. The smaller troll narrows his eyes at Gamzee, then turns to the triangle, bringing the ball down in front of him.]

I'll do it if you shut up.

[Karkat rolls the ball forward, toward the horns. In what can be assumed to be a stroke of luck, he manages to hit in just the right place to bowl a strike. However, the result is a cacophony of honks that fills the air suddenly, making Karkat jump and sending Gamzee clinging to his side, leaving a trail of panicked “motherfucker"s behind him.

[Once the honks have died down, a silence fills the room, disturbed only by the frantic clicking and screeching of Karkat’s lusus in the background.]

[And then, almost as suddenly as the honking had begun and for no real reason at all...Gamzee bursts into loud, hysterical laughter, doubling over and dragging Karkat down with him in the process.

[This causes Karkat to start shouting, a string of curses flying out of his mouth. He's not laughing, only yelling some very not-nice things at his moirail. Par for the course.]

((Ooc: This should be pretty easy to figure out, but in case you were wondering, the gray font is Karkat and the indigo font is Gamzee.))