[ Yozora, posting on the network? It's a very strange occurrence, it might as well be important. Can anyone feel a bad omen coming along? No, wait, that's just-- ]

--on earth did you do this time, Shu!?

[ Why is this suddenly his fault? He doesn't understand. ]

What do you mean? [ Have the most confused look ever, Yozora. ] I don't get what you're saying.

[ This isn't the best time to be dense, Shu. Yozora raises her hand - well, their hands - in the screen's view. Being stuck to a pretty girl with a pink Chinese finger trap should be a dream come true, but with her personality and his awkwardness, it's just a living nightmare! ]

If this isn't a prank, it's obviously some sort of divine punishment for your actions! I may not be a normal, but I would never resort to doing something so pathetic as being a hikikomori. Look at Shiage! [ She saw your post, man. ] Will you spend the rest of your life wooing two-dimensional women, Shu Ouma?

If my actions caused this, then doesn't that make you my accomplice? [A short pause.] Hikikomori can do whatever they want, I think. Shiage? What's this about?

[ He doesn't want to admit it, but he does enjoy looking at fictional things on the internet. There's nothing wrong with liking 2D imagery, gosh Yozora.]

Sometimes people look sort of like images online-- [What is being socially awkward?] No, I won't. I already have Inori. How about yourself, Yozora? Playing dating sims is one thing, but when you put males into the picture it becomes something much bigger.

You should tell us if you have a crush on a fictional male. Would you go for the ones with a jerky attitude?

Hmph! You underestimate me if you think I'll stoop down to Meat's level. Besides, I prefer the ones with... A-anyway, that's none of your business!

[ Her face turns from red to redder when she notices their bracelets. ]

Shit, the network-!

It was actually on this whole time?

[Quick, find a way to escape.]

Everyone----

There's a really good explanation for this. I'm not sure what it is yet, but there is a reason. We'll tell you when we figure it out.

Sorry.

( ooc: Shu, Yozora. tl;dr a curse has been placed on Shu and Yozora and now they have a Chinese finger trap they can't get off no matter what they do. Unless... dundundun THE ANSWER WILL BE REVEALED IN THE TAGS OR SOMETHING. There will be some threadjacking by either, of course, but we'll be tagging separately. )

[ The feed begins quietly, Hephaestion's voice barely audible. ]

I-

[ It takes him a second to gather his thoughts, and when he speaks again, his voice is clearer. ]

Alexander is no longer here.

[ He makes another pause. ]

For the people whose life story can be found at the library, have you read it? I hadn't, out of respect... but I don't think it matters anymore.

--Is this... My apologies if this does not work out as intended, but...

[ There's a pause, a worried one. Saitou's just flicked on the device, after being told how to work it. There's a few kinks to work out, considering he has no clue if this thing even works, but he's hoping for the best. ]

I do not think that I am suited for this task you've given to me. I appreciate the thought and measures you have gone through to acquire me, however, I am needed elsewhere and my only talents... They do not lie in with 'flourishing'.

[ Another pause. He doesn't want to seem too rude, because while being kidnapped sucks, they seemed to have intentions that he would never expect. ]

It is important for me to return to Japan as quickly as possible. If anyone is getting this message, please elaborate on the situation.

I tried to warn you
but you kept blindly moving forward

I tried to warn you
but you only listened to what you wanted to hear

You tried to warn them
but you were only the boy who cried wolf

[Have fun with Bern and her stupid mysterious poetry, Asgard. Anyone who chooses to respond to this will get replied via text and probably won't see the video message following.]

I will admit, I hold an inkling of respect for whoever my captors may be. Reeling in the power of a miracle and snuffing it out like a flame is a rather fearsome talent.

Though, anyone who has even the slightest of ideas of how to get out of this place had best come forth with them immediately.

Good day.

[Seriously.

Don't.

Anyone tuning in or wandering (foolishly) about the park will find Fluttershy sitting on a walkway, petting one of the lions that has decided to take up residence in Asgard as of late. The creature has his head on his paws and seems... rather docile.]

I have no idea why everypony has been so afraid of these poor, lost kitties. I'm sure that they are just looking for a friend.

[She turns to the lion and coos to him, scratching him behind his ears and making him pick up his head to shake out his mane.]

Isn't that right, Lionel?

[The animal yawns and sets his head back down-- this time upon her knees.]

If anypony would like to help me try and find homes for them, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm afraid that I can't fit all of them into my room at the Hall.

[Annnnd a pair of owls flutter down from the sky and land upon each of her shoulders.]

I am so very glad for these new little friends, too!

[The lion eyes the owls for a moment before closing his eyes again and she lets the feed time out by just grooming the cat's mane with her fingers.]

[Hello, Asgard. We interrupt your creepy old man, owl and lion woes to bring you this.... thing. This trolling thing. Vanitas has had a few days to peruse the educational material Euri lent to him--enough time to get to the first sex scene and promptly laugh himself hoarse.

Oh, but this is too good to keep to himself. Way, way, way too good.

It's hard to miss this video of Vanitas sitting calmly in a chair somewhere in Hel's house, one leg crossed casually over the other with a book in his hand. There's an eerie little smile on his face, as he opens it with no lead-in, and starts reading aloud in a very even tone.]

The Treasure or the Trophy, Chapter seven. Page sixty three.

( Cut for NSFW of the trashy romance novel variety )

[He makes it through without a hint of laughter, or flinching. Just dry, and a little amused. Once he gets there, Vanitas abruptly stops, and closes the book.]

So, this is what it's all about? Stupid... How do you guys keep from laughing yourselves to death?

[The first thing most people will notice on their bracelets is a video transmission of a kind man with one golden and one blue eye offering a gentle smile. If you know him very well, then you’ll soon realize the smile on his face seems a tad bit forced. Underneath his smile are feelings of uneasiness, worry, and a little anger. Nevertheless, he was smiling before slightly lowering his head respectfully to his audience.]

Good afternoon. My name is Soushi Miketsukami. I’ve recently arrived to this fair city as everyone has --- with a common goal. [A quiet pause. He slowly raises his head towards his audience.] At least, it’s what the kind maid and our generous patrons have explained through their welcome letter. We were apparently chosen for a mission of utter importance; not only to them but to us, it would seem. Yet there are still many unanswered questions that I wish to discussion with those who have been here for some time. But before we can get to them, there’s an even greater inquiry that I need-- [Shaking his head gently, he carries on.] No, that I must know. Anyone with information will be an honor to speak with.

[His kind smile will slowly change into one full of sadness and worry. It was clear his emotions were now genuine. Almost as if someone kicked a helpless puppy in front of him.]

I am searching for my master. She is....someone very dear and precious to me. I cannot stand to be away from her for very long, and I am sure the rulers of this world know this. I will not be of any use to them without her by my side. I, wholeheartedly, believe she’s here, somewhere in this large city. [He had hope. Ririchiyo-sama had to be here! She and Kagerou-sama had to be. Why else would the Gods waste their time choosing him over the others to save their world? He wasn’t going to be of any use especially without his master. He had no doubt in his mind that the Gods aren’t stupid, they must know about his driving force to do anything. Hopefully, she really was here, safe and sound, and searching for him as well. He had to find her! Who knows what sort of dangers roam the city streets!?] Her name is Ririchiyo Shirakiin. She is 15 years of age and her birthday is February 21.

[And here comes the return of his kind smile, but filled with more light than before. There will be a bit of dark sparkles surrounding him as he continues to speak admirably about her.] She has lustrous, silky and long flowing dark hair. Her hair is usually loose, but sometimes prefers to sport it in an adorable high ponytail. Her eyes are a dazzling shade of purple. If you look into her eyes, then you’ll be amazed by it’s depth. They always remind me of the most beautiful and pure amethyst stones. [His speaking begins to go a little faster, but not hard enough to misunderstand him.] Her skin tone is a delicate, smooth, and lovely pale color. She is about 4 feet 9 inches, an inch closer to being a healthy 5 feet. She has impeccable taste in clothes and fashion. She wears many different type of outfits, but there’s one in particular that she enjoys to wear most. It’s her black deep v-neck dress with four buttons on either side and no sleeves. Underneath, she wears a white long sleeve ruffle blouse. As for shoes, she wears dark-colored ones that are always clean and well-kept. With gray thigh length socks to match her already perfect assemble. One of her favorite pass times is reading books especially before going to bed. Her favorite genre is classical literature. She also enjoys music of the same type -- sophisticated, and with a nice rhythm to follow.

[And sadly, the video will continue with Soushi describing his master with high enthusiasm, devotion, and energy that he forgot all about his current situation and potential audience as well. It might be best for someone to distract him or he’ll never finish.]

(ooc: tags will begin tomorrow. sorry, i had to post before going to bed.)

[There's a young lady speaking. She doesn't seem very sure of herself or, well, anything right now. She's also rather quiet because who wants to be heard talking to themselves if this fails?]

All right...I'm not sure if this is working, but if it is - hello, my name is Chizuru Yukimura. I have just arrived and...to be entirely honest, this all seems like a strange dream. It seems I've been brought to Sigyn's house, and...if anyone sees people by the name of--

[Insert the list of her Shinsengumi buddies, as well as Sen's name, here]

--- please let me know, they are my dear friends from home. I am not sure if I will be able to reply immediately, as I'm still getting used to using this device, so please bear with me. Thank you in advance.

[After deactivating the...the thing...Chizuru sighs, straightens up, and starts wandering around - within Sigyn House, outside the house, so on. Care to run into her?]