[ spike hasn't made an appearance on the network or much of anywhere public since his return, but here he is. he's outside, wearing a sweater and gloves. it's gotten cold this past week or so. ]

...Well, hey, you lot. Fancy seeing you here. [ there's a shift but then he's doing his best to look unbothered by the entire situation. he's always been awkward about these things, but what is there really left to say. ] Glad to be back, really, thanks for asking.

Tea's as good as ever, and there's always something on cable... I've just been thinking, you know. No smart remarks, I do have the capability and all.

[ he's got to stop rambling. oh boy. he looks right into the feed and nods his head. this is definitive. no turning back; it's been decided and it's over with. ]

We're gonna win. I mean really-- we've got this.

We're gonna win.

That's it. Just thought you should know.

[ even in war there is time for philosophy. maybe. Kaworu comes to the video, smiling. He is sitting in his room; on the walls, there are MANY photos of many different people he has met while in Asgard. In his lap there is Zadkiel, an adult orange cat, who is purring loudly (surprisingly, because this cat is the devil) ]

Of all the things you have learned through your life, which is the one you praise the most, the one you think of the most about, the one you are most glad to have learned, met or seen? And why?

[ and because he learned it's better to answer your own questions in order to help others answer, Kaworu will do exactly that ]

I'd say mine is rain. Since this body was created, I have lived inside a laboratory and I was not allowed contact with the outside world. When I first arrived to Asgard, it was around this time of the year and it rained. It was the first time I had seen and felt it, during an afternoon when I shared with someone who is no longer in this world. I suppose that's why I came to love it. Rain reminds me of him. Rain reminds me of many things, and each is very dear to me. [ his hand reaches to pet the cat's head as he looks down at him ]

Ever since I arrived, I was allowed to learn much and see much. I was allowed contact with others, and I was allowed to learn about others. [ yes, "allowed". Because before, he was more of a labrat, not allowed much.

He smiles softly and after he turns to the bracelet again ]

I'm very glad for the time I have spent here. And I thank you for it. I thank you for all that you showed me and taught me, and I thank you for being there. It made this extra time I was allowed much more meaningful.

[ and he is talking about himself which is weird for those who know him, but the war is ending and it's time ]

So these digs are pretty sweet.

( At first the video comes in a little too close, and then shaky as Faith moves the bracelet to make it look better. She's new and working on it, they certainly didn't have anything like this where she came from. Where's a good old fashioned beeper?

She's lounging on her bed, tank top and leather pants with her hair down. Hey pretty faces )

Nicer than anything I've ever lived in before. Gonna have to thank the boss, if I ever actually get to see him. Or if he's listening now I'm pretty grateful.

( People are listening, right? She's been told how to use the bracelet - rather than just pressing the buttons like she did before - but she's not Willow. No whizzing here )

This all seems like a pretty selective club, too. Glad I got an invite, you picked the right girl. ( And juicing her more with regeneration was a smart move. Helps keep a Slayer alive ) But I got one question. Not a complaint just, you know, curiosity. Where's the fun around here? I mean even Sunnydale had the Bronze, and that didn't always bomb. I get that there's a war going on, when isn't there, but all work and no play makes it pretty dull, or us lousy. So who's up for something? Show a girl the sights.

( With that smile? How could you ever refuse? )

And a weapon. I'm good with my fists but something that'll help I'd never say no to. I didn't exactly get chance to pack first. Just let me know what you've got. I'm sure we can work something out.

[ It shouldn't be too noticeable, but this particular incarnation of the Doctor is appearing just slightly rattled right about now. The whole experience of whatever happened to him is just weird. Of course, he's learned more about what happens to people who have lost their bracelets, but experiencing it for himself is another thing entirely.

And, on top of that, he's just come back to his house, only to find that it's completely empty. The feed will show him standing in an empty room, circling twice, and then shrugging. ]

Right, so, it seems I've lost some time, which is something, coming from me.

[ No point in saying anything about Ianto and Jack. He knows what this means; they're missing, and not only from the house. He doesn't trust himself to speak on that subject, so he goes for another angle. ]

What've I missed? I don't need a long speech, but a summary is alright.

So I woke up this morning and started to feel pretty uncomfortable in my god house. It's starting to get to the point now where I don't feel like I should be here.

( Except this is her house, right? Wrong. Lydia's new memories from home have resulted in her changing houses - from Odin to Hel, and she doesn't know it, or that it can happen )

So for anyone that's actually left here, has anyone felt unwanted in their home? Their house here, not in your world. I know it happens when you visit another house but this is my house.

Or is everything just getting messed up the more the war goes on?

( Thiazi's getting stronger and some guy's soul has been stolen. That's pretty messed up )

So.

[ He's eating popcorn. If there's an angry way to eat popcorn, Loki's managing it right now. Munch munch munch. ]

You guys know I'm a fan of riddles. Here's one: what's the difference between a lobster with big boobs and a Greyhound station? [ The most careful deadpan. Munch munch. ] Too easy? All right, I've got a harder one for you: how does a Giant with elemental magic perform spiritual magic?

[ A beat. A handful of popcorn. Prolonged eye-contact. ]

Nothing? Man, rough crowd. Don't worry, I'll give you this one: she doesn't. She gets a god to do it for her.

[ Okay, fuck the popcorn. He throws the whole bucket over his shoulder and sits forward. ]

See, turns out when everyone else was having that fun family reunion down in Ginnungagap, Thiazi wasn't actually just sitting naked on her throne and cackling to herself as she is wont to do. Naw, she was studying the magic dear old Dad used to shove my mom's soul into the doll that started the whole party. The gods were too busy fighting over some snot-nosed brats to realise that Tyr's soul never returned to the land like it was supposed to.

[ Hence the recent excursions and general confusion. He shouldn't've ditched his popcorn, now he has nothing to angrily chew but the inside of his cheek. ]

Thiazi's been attacking us in ways that shouldn't be possible, aren't, because her magic isn't written that way. Took us awhile to figure it out, but seems like you guys do pretty well as the Bossman's eyes. There's no magic down there 'cos someone took it, and it ain't in Muspellheim 'cos it's hanging out down south, and Thiazi's more powerful than she should be 'cos she's using my dad's soul, same way she was planning to use Freyr's and the rest of us once she'd taken us down.

[ He wiggles his fingers theatrically and confetti falls in front of the camera with the word 'Surprise!' written on it. So dramatic ! ]

Luckily for us, most of you guys are the heroic sort that love rescuing damsels in distress, and the rest of you just like dicking people over. So - how's a trip back to Mimisbrunnr sound? If there's a way to draw Tyr's soul back out of Thiazi, she'll be weakened and we'll have one more edge over her crazy ass. Train's heading out tomorrow if you're interested!

[ A pause, and he summons his popcorn back to him to resume eating it from ... off ... the floor Loki you could've just summoned new popcorn why ... ]

I like to think I've been pretty good to you guys, so I'm gonna ask you for a personal favour. [ He sobers, as much as Loki is able to do so when he's this mad. ] Help me kill this bitch. Doing this will get us one step closer, and I cannot fucking wait to see her head roll.

[ That's all he's got. Loki, out! ]

[ OOC NOTES: This is the metaplot information for Dude, Where's My Soul? You didn't think the title was just a shitty reference, did you? The log is already up here! Enjoy! ]

[There are a lot of unpleasant things about sleeping for a while. Harry can barely remember what was happening before he slept. Hermione. Hermione had been with Remus. They were meaning to get out invitations. All of that is a haze, and Harry wonders if he should be remembering something. In fact, he wishes that were the case; he wishes he knew more about the future. There are moments when he tries to pretend otherwise, but fighting a war does wear down on someone.

It leaves him to wonder if his world will truly be safe.

Then again, there are other unpleasant things about waking up after a long rest. The awareness that Gilderoy Lockhart has arrived is high on his list.

Of all the people to arrive from home ...

Though, in truth, at least it's not Voldemort again.

Just the same, he doesn't doubt that people are wondering where he is, so after he wakes up, after he has some tea and tries to look as if he hasn't been sitting in the same position for who knows how long, he sets his bracelet in front of him.]

Hello, everyone, I'm Harry. [Because the truth is, he doesn't know how long it's been. Better to be safe than sorry.] I've been asleep for a very long time. Too long, honestly, and I feel like there must be a lot that I've missed. [Agitation creeps into his tone there, and it's evident by the slight downturn of his mouth.]

To tell you the truth, I haven't really spoken on here since my warning about Tom Riddle, but he's come and gone now. Which I suppose has been announced, hasn't it?

But because I haven't been around, I wanted to say some things that I still feel are true. [And honestly, he likes being able to communicate it to newcomers.] I don't know how much many of you know about what's happening here, and I don't know how things have progressed, but before I went to sleep myself, Odin was drained and unable to go on. Before that happened, there was ... there was a row with the gods, I guess you could say. A lot of people were unhappy with them. And who could blame you, really? You've been taken here without your permission. Necessary evils and all that.

But the gods aren't bad people. Some of them are gits. [He's thinking of one in particular here.] And being here is unsettling, scary, and ... not fair. Especially to those of you who haven't experienced this sort of thing back home. But they're trying. They've been through a lot, and we wouldn't be here unless they were desperate to save their world and ... while some people doubt this, I don't, our own.

[There's a point where he looks away for a moment, gathering his thoughts.]

I think that's all. I'd like to catch up with everyone, and meet some new people.

And ... I'm really glad to be awake again. No one wants to sleep that long. Trust me.

Well, well, hello there. [There's a blindingly bright and charming smile aimed at the bracelet and it looks almost as if he's trying to flirt with it. Which he is, to be fair. Take it all in, ladies and gentlemen, that's Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile you're now looking at. You lucky people. Seriously though, guys, one at a time please. We don't need another disaster.] Isn't this place a peculiar thing? Not in a bad way, of course, I have to say I'm rather impressed. It's got a certain quaint muggle-ish charm to it.

And really, it's so kind of you to invite me here for a stay but while I do appreciate your dedication and desire for my company, I can't say I'm eager to remain. It's not you, really! It's me. Like I said before, it's a rather lovely little oddity, this 'Azgard'. I just have other places to be. I'm sure you understand?

[It's all said in a light tone, trying to stay kind and flattering, though with a strange hint of sympathy. In fact, it kind of sounds like Gilderoy is attempting to gently break up with Asgard. But then, to be fair, one is reminded of a sad desperate ex that won't let him go -- he's sure he dated a girl a little like Asgard way back when actually. She tried to lock him in her house once...

Mock if you will, the similarities are all there. Thought at least she never tried to drown him in a biblical storm.]

Sometimes, we must all take different paths in life. And while I have loved my time here, I feel it's now time to move on. Lots to do, plenty to see. But I'm sure I can do something for you all before I leave. Perhaps sign your guest book? If you have one. I know that'd be a treat for the fans.

[He assumes he has fans here. He has them everywhere else, why not in a strange world of Norse Gods? If it doesn't then, well, that will have to change before he goes. Living in a world without Gilderoy Lockhart? You poor underprivileged people. How do you function?]

I do feel bad for not being able to assist in the war but without my wand, I'm afraid there's little I can do for you anyway. Maybe if you'd allow me to leave and return later by my own accord, I'd be a better asset. Just something to keep in mind, hmm? Yes. Good.

Man.

[The city is all messed up again. Magic and mayhem and wars oh my, and Isaac is sitting on the front steps of the pet store, idly twisting up a piece of paper in his hands.]

Is anyone else starting to be seriously underwhelmed by the whole war stuff? I mean, I've got a feeling that we're all probably working on some serious cases of post traumatic stress or something, what with all the murders and evisceration and accidental suicides. A therapist would make a fortune here.

[Isaac shrugs, tearing the receipt in half, not really looking at the screen.] Anyway, I'm asking because the last time this city was attacked, I could barely be bothered to put on my snowshoes.

[He laughs, a little sardonically.]

Maybe that's just me.

[Hello, Asgard. This is Riley here and she is sitting on the kitchen counter in the house she lives in with the rest of the people from her world. Currently, she's snacking on a cupcake, clearly enjoying her sweet treat.]

Okay so, I've been here a few days and I think it's time I introduced myself. I'm Riley and I come from Ellie's world. You know, fucked up zombie apocalypse with more squishy mushroom people and less rawr braaaaains. [Yes, she even made a scary face just for that. Okay, back on topic after a lick of frosting.]

So, some of you know my girl Ellie. Still, not the point of this.

Alright, I want you all to tell me your favorite alcoholic drink. Or drinks. I'll allow a top three if you're really too lame to pick one. And if you're too much of a pussy to have tasted alcohol then you should tell me your most embarrassing story instead.

Got it? Cool, give me the best you got.

[She'll just wait here.]

[There's gotta be a better way to do this. There's just got to be. However he realizes that he's running out of time, especially with the appearance of certain people in the city of Asgard.

He doesn't bother to show his face. Instead he's setting up a text…somehow that seems much, much safer.]

Party's over, I'm afraid. Back to business.

Quick question for the masses:

A.) Would you consider yourself useful here?
B.) Why so? Or, I suppose, why not?
C.) Serious responses only.

[He's fully anticipating not-serious responses, but at least it gives him a bigger pool to work with.]

Additionally, you may very well know that Euridice Taverna's left the city which means that I'm short one business partner. I'm not precisely looking for a new partner, but perhaps a few new hires.

Serious inquiries only.

[ There are some people in the world who really shouldn't be given any sort of technology or utensil without first receiving some hands-on instruction. Well, even more than is standard upon arrival. Peter Pettigrew, unfortunately, is one of them. The video jolts and even falls to the floor before it rights itself, but upside down. ]

Hn. Owls really would just be easier.

[ It rattles again, and really, wearing a bracelet should not be so difficult. ][ A sigh. ]

Merlin, this is -- well. I... I was just wondering if maybe anyone played chess? I... I don't know.

Something to do, maybe? Besides... well, this thing.

[ He gestures to the bracelet, which only serves to make the video fuzzy and flicker out. Sorry, he's never been very good at introductions, and certainly no good at making many friends. ]

[Don't bother on wondering what's wrong with the bracelets today, travelers, because there's actually nothing wrong with them. The image is upside down because Jack is the one lying down like that, skinny legs resting on the back of the couch, his head almost touching the floor and making his hair spike in more directions than usual.

His question for the network sounds rather mundane and boring, especially for someone like Jack, but there's a grin on his face that shows there's more to it than it looks. Remember: never trust a prankster.]

Soooo. Pets are popular around here, right? Then tell me, what do you do when hair starts getting everywhere? [He pokes one of the cushions on the couch with his staff, and it's obvious he's exaggerating his story a little.] Extra points if it's rabbit fur you have tips for. Though I kinda doubt it because what I'm always seeing in the network is...

[His eyes widen.]

...dogs.

[And so does his grin. There's "mischief" written all over his expression. At times like this, Jack manages to look like the annoying teenager he died as.]

Geez, there's really have a huge amount of dogs around, isn't it? Do you guys think maybe I could borrow them from you? Rent them? Just for a day. It's for a little... experiment.

[Jack might just be vanishing very quickly off the screen, as if something very large has just grabbed him by his skinny ankles and hoisted him skywards. A gruff Aussie accent identifies the culprit of aforementioned Jacknabbing.]

NO! I don't want no bloody dingos running about the place. They're unhygienic. [And this has nothing to do with the fact he's petrified of them, nope.]

Hey! What are you-- [A snort.] Awww, it's our dear kangaroo jealous? Don't worry, Cottontail, your fur will forever be the only one in our--

[Jack can't finish because he's suddenly being shaken, and the feed ends... but not without showing a giant furry creature doing the shaking first.

Another normal day in the Guardians' home, yup.]

[Welcome to Jon's face. It's not a particularly happy face. In fact, it looks pretty sour at the moment. He really hates having to use the bracelet, but he has a very important announcement to make.]

This is a message to the gods that have stolen us and brought us here.

[He has no actual knowledge of who the gods are or if they even care about their charges, but as they seem to have more of a hand in the affairs of others than his own gods, he'll see if a direct approach works.]

During the... incident which had your blasted magic working ill against those you gave it to, my brother wound up losing his hand. Due to your ineptitude and this unwanted sorcery, he has a stump where a perfectly fine hand was before. What sort of gods give people powers they don't ask for? It's bad enough you've brought children here, but you seem not to care about the ill effects of your war on those that are hale enough here to fight it.

[The sour look is directed more intensely at the screen now.]

I insist you fix it. I've gone to your temples and asked for this, but as it's seemed to fall on deaf ears, perhaps you need it shouted in your face.

Fix my brother or you'll have me to deal with and Asgard's gods will join him in missing body parts.

[Caw caw, motherfucker.]

[ ....








Again.

That same expression. Those same eyes. So very wide. Bright. Curious. There. She's here. Again.

Amy Pond is back. ]

Oh, brill'.

[ A sigh. Let's go through the drill: ] Skin and bones with the nose? Bowtie? [ This is where you say 'polo.' ]