Kakera #3 ↻ video

[wittlich]

--es? Is there something I can assist you with?

[ 'Bernkastel' doesn't hesitate to speak. If anyone knows her, they know that it's rather stange to see her looks so... distressed. Almost immediately, "she" points. ... Only, Bernkastel isn't exactly Bernkastel at the moment. ] You know damned well what you can assist me with! What's the hell is this?!

[ 'Battler' merely tilts his head, setting 'his' bracelet on a small endtable beside him. ] I'm afraid this isn't my doing.

[ The real Battler stops for a moment, Bernkastel's back slumping ] Aaaahhh, dammiiiit.... I've finally had a chance to be a woman's body, and it's that damned witch's! [ He looks to Bern ] So, you're saying that it's the gods, right?! Well, that's great, just perfect! The one's who did this in the first place never come out of hiding at all...!

[ Bernkastel tilts her head, "her" face as expressionless as ever. For those who know Battler, it's probably an odd sight. ] I have no motive to switch our bodies, as you well can guess. [ A pause. ] As expected.

Don't you witches have a completely twisted sense of humor? In fact, I'm expecting you to burst out laughing at any second now!

I am as displeased as you are about being another's body. Our sense of humor may differ, but I'm quite comfortable in my own skin. [ Of course, her face doesn't look displeased. You'll have to take her word for it. ]

[ Somehow, it looks as though he's calmed down a bit, but he isn't quite a powerface as Bernkastel's usually is. ] Tch... Don't tell me you expect to wait it or whatever. ... It's not like I never wanted to know what it was like to be in a woman's body, but this body's completely and totally flat!

[ Bernkastel only tilts her head to the side. ] In such an upsetting situation, all you can worry about is my chest size? I don't know whether to be disappointed, or neutral, as that's what I should have expected of you.

W, Well, it is to be expected from a breast sommelier, isn't it? --But, what about you? I bet you have your own share of complaints about this entire thing, too! [ Like what if Bern's double comes... then what... ]

Of course I do. However, angrily voicing them is not going to help our situation.

... Lemme guess. Sit around and wait, right? That leaves a bad taste in my mouth...

Do you suggest doing something else? Charging recklessly will do nothing, and likely result in further punishments.

Sorry, but I can't sit around here and do nothing! At least, it'll be satisfying to see those damned Gods for myself, face to face!

Then what is your plan? I would, at the very least, like to know what kind of tomfoolery you are going to involve my body in.

My plan, huh.... Some people have met the Gods for themselves, right? The first step is to get an audience with them! The rest is a piece of cake!

And how will you acquire this audience with them?

W, Well... They've gotta be watching these weird devices, right?

Possibly. Nigh-omniscient beings don't always spend all their time spying. [ W h i c h is definitely a lie. She smirks a bit, gazing at the camera out of the corner of her eye. ]

Huh? [ He follows her gaze, freezing in his tracks when he realizes that this had been recording ] W, What the Hell--?! You had this thing recording the entire time, didn't you? Go figure!

((Joint post with titties! Bern and Battler will reply separately, and Bern's tags will come from onethousandtruths.))

Comments

[video]

[gunsgoldgirls]

What the hell, boy.

[These are the only words he has for this. Just. What the hell. He's so confused right now.]

[onethousandtruths]

Are you not aware of the recent bodyswapping going on? Check the network.

[gunsgoldgirls]

Yeah, I've seen them. So what?

[video]

[titties]

S, Shut the Hell up! This isn't my faaaault! It's those damned Gods again...!!

[video]

[gunsgoldgirls]

...Oh. Lookin' good, Battler-chan!

video;

[entreats]

[ .. of course it had to be those two switched, huh.. one of her least favourite people and one of her favourite people, she sees how it is.. and this is the worst timing to ask Battler about the whole marriage deal too, so she quickly swallows down the slight bitter feeling about that, even if it makes her tone sound slightly annoyed. ]

I recommend waiting it out instead of doing something utterly stupid.

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[onethousandtruths]

And this is why you are one of the sole Ushiromiya with common sense.

LMFAO SCREAMING-- BERN GET A BETTER HOBBY THAN THAT

[entreats]

The others have common sense, you know. They just don't tend to display it as much.

.. Although it just feels wrong when you're complimenting me, especially in his body.

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[titties]

[ Waiting it out is the last thing he wants to do since usually waiting to see how things go is a Bad idea, and... This is a nightmare ]

No way, no way can I do that...!! Wh, What if this lasts for a long time, or something?!

[entreats]

Usually these things tend to last for only a few days at most, onii-chan. [ .. a pause after that, it's so.. weird.. to say that to 'Bernkastel'. ]

Can't you trust me?

[ deeefinitely bitternes in that last part beyond its initial meaning in just this context. ]

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[stungun]

Battler's body looks much cuter when someone else is inside of it...

[onethousandtruths]

[Whaaaaaat's this? Shion? Shion Sonozaki is here? Hooo boy, this kinda complicates things. She knew Hanyuu was here, but moreover, she seems to know Battler...]

You two know each other?

[This is possibly the worst situation to be informed of this, gdi gods. For the first time in Asgard proper, she's close to freaking the fuck out.]

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[titties]

There's no way she makes it cuter, not at all! Not even in the slightest!

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[palateswap]

Well, I'm glad you told everyone you want to know what it's like to be a girl. I think it's only deserved for a "breast sommelier"... ugh.

[onethousandtruths]

Nothing less should be expected from a great detective of his caliber. [Although her face stays blank, her words drip heavily with sarcasm.]

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[titties]

It's a commonly known fact that most guys get pretty curious every so often!

[video]

[pastahair]

Battler? And... you. The girl who spoke to me that other time? I recognize that voice, but... [Well--It's just strange to watch two people who've swapped bodies talking to each other like that. Biche herself is in Sora's body.]

It's me, Biche.

[onethousandtruths]

Beatrice Castiglioni. [A raised eyebrow.] Hello.

[video]

[titties]

No way-- you, too?

video

[highstakesgame]

[Just. Just give her a minute here - Beato's options are limited to 'laugh' or 'scream', and laughing is so much better for her appearance.

So Beato is totally gonna lose her shit, gasping for air and everything]

Oh, oh my! Those are not exactly the breasts you imagined fondling regularly, are they, Battler-chaaaaaaaaaan!

[Yup, back to losing her shit]

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[onethousandtruths]

I believe he is extremely disappointed.

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[titties]

Stop laughing, stop lauuughiiing! This isn't funny at all, dammit...!!

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[brokenpromise]

E-eeh? Battler-sama is now a witch and the witch is now Battler-sama? Oh dear, it seems we all have the same bad luck.

[ Shannon glance away embarrassed as she was as kanaya maryam. Who knew these body swaps would get out of hand. is in 's body. ]

O-Oh this is Shannon by the way. Au...

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[titties]

They got to you too, huh? ... Looks like Shannon-chan got a little luckier than the rest of us.

[onethousandtruths]

Shannon? [She raises her eyebrows in amusement.] Do you know whose body you're currently inhabiting?

[for once, Bern doesn't. Grey skin and horns, though...]