I find it all incredibly strange.

[His glance at the recording is serious and almost maudlin, but he manages a quiet laugh despite this.]

How so much can change, and yet, there is still such familiarity in it all.

[Fandral straightens and composes himself, and the smile returns.]

I find myself lacking in company tonight, friends. [His companions have been uncharacteristically quiet, though however unsettling that is--and it worries him greatly--he does not say.] And I find it would be remiss of me not to offer my own instead. Would anyone care to do me the honor of sharing drinks this evening?

[Because, priorities.]

[Hello, Asgard! Today, there is a face on the network that hasn't really been seen much lately. Granted, she's been kind of avoiding everyone because life sucks and nothing is new, but. You know. Today she kind of has a purpose for posting something here.

Staring at something just slightly above the camera, she'll be twirling a strand of hair between her fingers as she begins to speak.]

So... I want someone to beat the shit out of me. [Yeah. That's sure a thing that just came out of her mouth. After a beat, she adds:] Well — I'll be beating the shit out of you, too. But I mostly just want someone to beat the shit out of me.

[O...kay... She stays quiet for a couple of seconds after this, before she stops twirling her hair and looks directly at her bracelet. She looks like she's 100% uninterested in everything ever, but at least her tone is cheery enough as she prattles on.]

You can use knives, guns, sticks, your hands... whatever. If you feel like trying to kill me, just be sure to do it after I've had my fun. Otherwise, it's boring as shit. [SOMEONE HAS ISSUES TODAY, and she's pretty serious about all of this.] Reply if you're interested.

[And, that's it. Wow.]

[The device turns on, revealing a Loras who looks...tired. He has been sleeping for two weeks (he has looked at the date), but he feels no more rested than he would, before.

He has been home. Living for months without knowledge of this place. But as he has woken up--he remembers the prophecy, the future he saw, so many weeks ago.

He knows that when he returns home, it will come true.

There is no escaping it.

So if he looks more serious, older, well. It is just the way of things, now.]

It seems while I slept, I returned home. I do not understand how it has occurred or why I have returned but--

--I can not deny the truth of it.

[He runs his free hand through his mess of curls.]

Can someone tell me what I have missed?

And--how many of you have returned home, and had no recollection of this place? Is that how it happens, always? With no way to use the knowledge of things learned here, back in our worlds?

[To avoid his fate--oh he wishes that he could.]

So I really need a job. [ Sam's made some money busking around the city but it's not enough to pay for rent to share a place with Satan, aka Santana Lopez. ]

I have experience back home working at Dairy Queen and I was also an erotic entertainer. [ A stripper in other words. He pauses thoughtfully. ] Not at Dairy Queen. I probably would have got thrown out if I stripped there. The stripping was somewhere else. But I don't really want to go back to doing that. [ He's not that desperate for money. Not anymore. ]

Anyway, I'm a hard worker and I like to sing... Actually, if someone could hire me to sing all day, that'd be awesome. Maybe like a singing waiter or something?

I also make art! Out of macaroni. Y'know, the pasta. Here's one I did of one of the gods.

[ Sam presents a portrait of Thor but made out pasta. Picture something like this but with Thor's face. ]

If anyone's interested in hiring me, let me know. [ And with Sam done listing his, uh, unique hobbies, he's about to end the video when he gets distracted by something in his lap. ] Blaine, did you just poop on me? Gross, dude.

[ Don't worry, Blaine isn't a person--well, he is, but Sam's talking to his new pet, Blaine the hamster, who's wearing a tiny bowtie. The footage ends on Blaine. ]