[Hello, Asgard. Look who is finally making his first post to the network? Jack is sitting on a roof and enjoying a blue popsicle. It seems their little trip to the cold lands wasn't enough ice for him.]

Moral of the story: 'frost giants' aren't as cool as they sound.

[...it's a joke, ok, don't judge him much. He needs to deal somehow with the fact the trip pretty much sucked. Jokes are also his way of trying to break the ice see what I did. Answering to people's silly thoughts? No problem. Starting conversation by his own? That's gonna need more practice.]

Someone mentioned weapons when I arrived, and how I should I ask the network about it. Maybe you do have an idea of what to do about--

[He uses telekinesis to make the two halves of a shepherd crook float next to him.]

--this. Because without my original powers, my staff is now just... a piece of wood, I guess.

[Brilliant deduction, Jack. All these changes are sure bothering you, huh?]

[ The feed flickers a little bit, showing the face of a young girl. Her nose scrunched up, it may or may not be clear that she is struggling to reacquaint herself with the little bracelet. ]

O-oh! Hello.

[ Lucy Pevensie recognizes this place -- the strange room she woke in and the bracelet. She does seem a tiny bit worried though. ]

I think I've been here before but, well -- I'm lost. I think. It's always an adventure, getting lost, and I should really have tried harder to remember this place but it does get a bit tricky. I'm in Sigyn House? If someone can maybe point me in the right direction? Oh, I promise I won't take up too much time, it's all really very silly.

[ She huffs a little, looking a tiny bit embarrassed but she laughs it off. ]

I can't be the only one that gets lost here, too, sometimes!

[ Good luck, you're about to have an adorable, small friend for life. ]

So, um- you guys just got back from the battle, right?

Someone mind filling me in on what happened?

[ She slept through Odin's message. :C ]

[The video flickers to life, a close up shot on a young, gray face. Karkat fiddled off screen for a few seconds, seemingly unaware that the whole Network was watching. Then his orange eyes light up, and he stares into the camera, the look of surprise quickly fleeting and turning into the default pissed off expression.]

Alright, listen up. I got a story for you numbnubs, and pay attention and sharpen your pencils because there's going to be a fucking pop quiz at the end.

So I was walking around town earlier--yeah I fucking went outside, and if I hear one goddamn comment about it you'll be looking at a lifetime commitment of having your head shoved up your ass--I was outside earlier and I saw this bag in a dumpster outside of the living quarters. And fuck me sideways the bag was filled with movies! How eerily coincidental, if this wasn't the real world I'd think it was some sort of plot device. [he clears his throat, then leans out of the picture for a moment to pick up three battered looking VHS tapes.]

So I got these three that look the least nauseating. I don't know anything about them, so I guess I'm looking for a bit of a review before I bring them back to Nepeta and Equius' hive. Uhhh--[He looks at the VHS tapes, one by one.] We've got 'Deep Impact', 'The Lion King', and ....uh...'Romeo + Juliet'?

I guess I'm just wondering which one will make me hurl the least. [The broadcast ends abruptly with a sneer.]