[The feed starts to show a teenage girl staring down at the feed. Her bottom lip is between her teeth, before she lets out a little huff, sending strands of white and brown hair fluttering away from her face.] Okay. [A slight drawl to that, as a gloved hand pushes her hair back behind her ear.] I've seen and heard some crazy things, but Ah gotta admit, this? I think this takes the blue ribbon.

[Not to mention the fact that the faceless maid was a touch- or a lot- creepy.] Ah get what was said. I'm not stupid, but... Well, I mean, it's a bit hard to accept this. That guide- [The tone of her voice really says it all about the guide. But, if what it says is true... It is a lot to take in, and a lot that really doesn't seem right or real.

Of course that leads to a lot of other questions, such as who, and why, and how.] Is it true though? Any of it? Gods, and giants, and powers lost-

[And that part she hesitates on. It's not like she's going to run around touching everyone to see, on some slim chance.] Or, or is this just someone's idea of a stupid joke. [A stupid joke.] 'cause it's not funny, if it is.

[Hello, Asgard. Here, have a set of bright blue eyes, perhaps a little too close to the communicator screen. The moment the feed starts however, he pulls back - blinking at the thing in his hands.

That’s when the shot twists, and he finally settles for grinning at the screen.]

Yo! So, this place really is super grey, y'know?

I got a bracelet thing, and this--! I guess everyone else got one too right? Er. Lesse, lesse. Oh! Yeah, I’m Uzumaki Naruto, from Konoha. Ya probably dunno where that is. Hey! Unless there’s other people from back home?

[As if an idea has hit him he frowns, and looks away before turning back again.]

How do I know if people are gonna talk to me on this?

[Whenever Terezi and Sollux recede from the limelight, everyone should start to get worried. That means they're plotting, and everyone should be very, very afraid of what they could be plotting. And they've put some effort into this one. Not a lot, but a substantial amount, for a large joke.

The video opens with Terezi and Sollux perched on stools, coffee mugs in hand, clad in slacks and the ugliest sweaters imaginable, shit-eating grins plastered on their faces.

Terezi bursts into laughter the moment the feed goes live, and flaps a hand at Sollux, wheezing through her teeth.] You start, [she orders between her cackles,] This was your idea, Appleberry. [Still snickering, she lifts her mug to her mouth and tries to pokerface, and instead almost ends up aspirating coffee when she laughs halfway through a sip.]

Don't make excutheth for being a lazy athh, it'th not fooling anybody. [But he holds his mug up in mock salute, all his fangs on display.] Good day, Athgard. Ath you know, the godth have a terrible tendency to be indecithive fuckwadth, and tho we end up theeing the thame people, over and over and over. And we'll thay it becauthe you're too thtuffy to even admit it to yourthelf- thome verthionth thick more than otherth. Which got uth to thinking-

It's important to have a frame of reference, you see. To answer the really hard-hitting questions. Such as, which trolls suck the most! And the least, of course! [She shares a conspiratorial smirk with Sollux.] That way, everyone knows who they should avoid on sight and who are the gods of troll sexiness and should be smothered with adoration. [And then she bursts into another fit of laughter.]

( click through for the exciting conclusion!!! )