001 ♊ text

[iin2ufferable]

[ Stuck somewhere you don't want to be? Time to be a brat about it. Cue terrible teenager hissyfit incoming in 3... 2... 1... ]

ii wa2 doiing 2ome thiinking
real deep 2oul 2earchiing 2hiit about beiing here
and ii came two a conclu2iion:
ii hate thii2 place and ii hate everyone here
actually ii diidn't even have two thiink very long or hard about it
everyone ii2 all liike
2ave u2 2ollux you're our only hope two not be hopele22ly boriing and mindle22 for the re2t of our mii2erable liive2
(two whiich ii have two 2ay welcome to beiing me hope you hate your own exii2tence a2 much as ii do)
and all ii really want two do ii2 go back two lyiing on that 2hiitty horn piile and talk about 2hitty feeliing2

ii have an iidea though ju2t hear me out
what ii do ii2 ii trade iin thii2 gaudy piiece of crap bracelet
take my p2iioniic2 and my mutant braiin and all that other 2hiit
buy a tiicket for the get the fuck out of here expre22
and go back two that 2hiitty rock
fuckiing geniiu2 ii know

p2 before anyone 2ay2 iit
ii don't know you and you defiiniitely don't know me
maybe you thiink you know 2ome other me but you don't
2o don't even go there

[ translation:

I was doing some thinking
Real deep soul searching shit about being here
And I came to a conclusion:
I hate this place and I hate everyone here
Actually I didn't even have to think very long or hard about it
Everyone is all like
Save us Sollux you're our only hope to not be hopelessly boring and mindless for the rest of our miserable lives
(To which I have to say welcome to being me hope you hate your own existence as much as I do)
And all I really want to do is go back to lying on that shitty horn pile and talk about shitty feelings

I have an idea though just hear me out
What I do is I trade in this gaudy piece of crap bracelet
Take my psionics and my mutant brain and all that other shit
Buy a ticket for the Get The Fuck Out of Here Express
And go back to that shitty rock
Fucking genius I know

P.S. before anyone says it
I don't know you and you definitely don't know me
Maybe you think you know some other me but you don't
So don't even go there ]

Comments

Text;

[5thchild]

You hate everyone, even those you have not met.
Why?

Text;

[iin2ufferable]

becau2e they are probably a22hole2
mo2t people are

Private-Text

[samantha_grey]

[Oh... mother fucker. This was the last thing she needed to deal with right now. Horn Pile? Fucking hell, she remembered that from Eridan and Aradia's dreams, because how could you not remember a pile of mother fucking horns just lying there. No, not twelve, not twenty in cold storage, but enough god damned bicycle horns to fall asleep on like it was a bed. And what did all that mean?

Fuck if she knew, but he wasn't from as far in the future as some of them, whatever the hell that ended up meaning, and he remembered jack and squat. She hit private, because she was not dealing with Eridan's shit if he saw her talking to Sollux. Not the fuck again, but she was watching for the possible, inevitable shit storm.]

Wonderful. You're back. And you remember shit. Great, now isn't this going to be a peach, acclimating your insulting ass back into the mess?

Lesson one, Sollux. Bitch all you want, but it doesn't work that way. As stupid as this is going to sound, they have very little control over when you disappear. If they did, things would have gone a lot smarter.

Private-Text

[iin2ufferable]

wow okay what diid ii JU2T 2ay
no ii'm not back
ii have never been here ii can't actually be back
ii don't know what fake 2ollux you thiink you know
but ii am not hiim LIIKE II JU2T 2AIID

Text - Congrats, you get a twofer!

[alternia_strength]

D --> Lowbl00d
D --> It appears we are being cycled back
D --> Nepeta at least will be pleased

[Wait. horn pile? ...great.]

D --> What is your last memory of the Highbl00d

Text - Congrats, you get a twofer!

[iin2ufferable]

what
why would np care
what whiich hiighblood
do you mean ff?
2he ha2 a name bulgewiipe
try u2iing iit

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < im pretty sure its YOU i know, mister catpurr :33
:33 < *ac rubs against tas ankles and purrs a welcome*

[iin2ufferable]

oh
hey np
ii gue22 you do
but probably not the 2ame one

[tipsygnostalgia]

[Oh.. well hello. There is someone she wasn't expecting to hear from again.]

ty;dr
(thats too yellow didnt read)

p.s.
like a whole bunch of people here know you doofus so stop trying to say they dont
hey sollux

[iin2ufferable]

p.p.s. no they don't
they know 2ome other bootleg 2ollux
he ii2n't me and ii don't want two treated liike hiim
iif you actually knew me you'd get that already

text;

[doomhoops]

[ wow tell us how you feel about it dude, that got sort of sad somewhere in the middle ]

maybe you should talk to someone with a degree about that.

let me know when the express comes in

text;

[iin2ufferable]

a degree iin WHAT
what doe2 that even mean

and you're buyiing your own tiicket

[Text]

[cyan_maid]

Oh, wow.
Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
I can understand why you're being a grump, Mister Yellow Text, but from what I know, going home isn't very easy, and Asgard isn't so bad.

[Text]

[iin2ufferable]

[ what is this human bed you speak of... ]

what are you talkiing about
waiit nevermiind ii don't actually care
"ii2n't 2o bad" ii2 a fancy way of 2ayiing iit 2uck2

[nukeoleptic]

[ She wasn't going to answer.

She wasn't going to answer!!! ]

look i am really sorry here!!! D:

[iin2ufferable]

[ NOT THIS AGAIN. ]

pro tiip:
ju2t drop iit already

[text]

[not_a_troll]

It pleases me to encounter such advanced 1337-speak in this realm. You are most up to date.

But do not fret, brave Sollux, you do not have to come to my rescue. And I am not boring either.

:o)

[text]

[iin2ufferable]

what
1337-2peak?
who are you?

[Text | PRIVATE]

[lethechained]

[Well. That's... certainly not the most encouraging reintroduction ever. It is, however, informative - and saves her the trouble of having to ask. (She'd hesitated to contact him after seeing his name reappear on the list for more or less that reason; better to let him get acclimated and see what came of it.)]

[....]

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. [A lot of things don't.] If it did there wouldn't be as many of us.

Welcome to the city.

[Text | PRIVATE]

[iin2ufferable]

yeah thank2 ii got that iit wa2 2arca2m
diid everyone lo2e theiir 2en2e of humor when they got dragged here two

[Text]

[comeonthensexy]

Sorry, you're stuck here like the rest of us. Welcome back.

[Text] I feel like I have to continually apologize for him...

[iin2ufferable]

IIT II2 NOT WELCOME BACK
HOW MANY TIIME2
DO II HAVE TWO 2AY IIT
fuck

[pupafan]

[ He just made it to the city. Still- ]

bUT, iT IS NOT SO BAD IN HERE,
}:)

[iin2ufferable]

ye2 iit ii2

[wasthemaster]

Coincidentally, this place and everyone hates you, too.
[He knows this isn't the same Sollux, but he still can't help but have really unhappy thoughts about the guy.]

As much as I would love to see you disappear again, I think they have other ideas.

[iin2ufferable]

thank2 captaiin obviiou2
want two tell me anythiing el2e ii already know

[theshabbiestofmen]

I didn't know we could change ink color.

[A beat.]

Oh, look at that.

[iin2ufferable]

ye2 there you go you diid iit
ii would be proud of you iif iit wa2n't 2o ea2y a wiiggler could do iit

[text] I'm hitting everything really late; I'm sorry about that!

[dicey]

Damn. I'm agreeing with you on pretty much all of this! We're on the same wavelength, you and me. ::::)

[text]

[iin2ufferable]

ew
are you tryiing two make me eat my word2
becau2e ii'm not actually hungry