asgardeventide | ①

[ What's up Asgardians. On this particular video feed, there is this stupid troll kid grinning a mile wide at all of you from her crosslegged seat on her bed. And she's got these sharp fangs and bright yellow sclera, some candy corn horns, and solid gray skin. Oh, and one of her eyes has seven (!!!!!!!) pupils.

Yeah, she is basically sort of hoping she freaks some people out. Being an alien sure has its benefits! ]

Okay, so let me get this straight. Whatever powers we had, we all lost them. Which, by the way, is still total bullshit! And it's all because of those fakey fake "gods" that keep telling us they're in charge. They kidnap us from all our homes and dump us here and take and take and take things from us, and they expect us to give them something in return!

What a load of hoofbeast shit. I ain't doing nothing for no fake gods! Instead I will just take advantage of the stuff they've given us and not give anything back. Sounds like a fair deal to me!

Oh, by the way. For all you humans just meeting your first alien, here is a tip. Don't grab our horns! [ YES WITNESS SHE IS REFERRING TO YOU. EVEN IF YOU AREN'T HUMAN. ] It's really rude! Kind of a cultural faux pas. You should all try to be a little bit more culturally sensitive! Jeez.

While I am here, I expect something in exchange for that tip! Why don't you all tell me whatever ridiculous "god house" you were put in? Hahahaha. So stupid.

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[ that is some bizarre shit, not gonna lie, but he's probably seen weirder so he'll withhold his judgments for now. now the question was-- were aliens just as interesting as humans? there were no striking differences in speech, so all in all, he should probably be quite excited. yes, in fact, assuming this kind of thing is going to become commonplace, maybe he should familiarize himself with it some. ]

Denied. But hey, buck up, I'm sure it'll work out. I mean, disobeying and taking from gods who kidnap you and steal your powers-- what could go wrong?

[Oh, okay, an alien. Not like she hasn't seen worse, because Bayonetta fights angels all the time. But it looks like someone's pissy and needs to be trolled~]

Gods can be much more real than you might realize, darling. Though I don't blame you for not believing them.

You look like a human to me. [ Or, well, another type of human. Like the human equivalent of a unicorn, maybe?

Still, she doesn't press that point. ]

I'll keep that in mind, though. I would hate to be culturally-insensitive. Do "aliens" need everypony to wear clothes, too?

[Enma tilts his head and stares at the horns for a long while before slowly replying - Alien? Well....he can roll with that, he supposes. No weirder than some of his family members, that's for sure]

Probably shouldn't tell people not to do something. It'll make them want to do it more.

[He speaks with the monotone of one who has had perhaps too much experience regarding the subject at hand]

Why would someone desire to grab your horns?

Th' fuck is an "ayleean"? Some sort of deformed...whatever-the-hell you are?

[ not give anything back? ah, he wishes it were truly that simple. he'd do the same, if he could. ]

You know, an attitude like that works out in the short term, but in the long run they'll cut you off. Whether you like 'em or not, you just kinda have to suck it up and meet them somewhere halfway.

[Ah another one of those "troll" guys augh she didn't enjoy her first encounter with one. But still... at least she's dressed for the weather and she somewhat has her bearings. Such language, though!]

... You had powers before you came here?

Edited 2011-12-07 14:37 (UTC)

Lame! Why is it such a secret, anyway?

[ A very brief pause. ] Hahahaha. Nothing! I'll be fine. We're their precious "Travellers", after all. I mean, what are they going to do, make me laugh and cry or whatever?

[ Trolling a troll? HOW DARE YOU be so meta! ]

So what? Who cares. I have fought way stronger things than these stupid gods in my time, I bet! [ She really cannot believe any of these idiots can measure up to her game session's gigantic horrorterror monster of a final boss. ]

Wow. How do I look even a little bit human to you? You need to get your eyes checked.

[ It's hard to tell if she's mildly indignant or just sort of surprised someone could be so oblivious. ]

... wait, what did you just say? "Everypony"? What the hell does that mean?

[ Why aren't more people freaking out! So lame. ]

Ugh! But seriously, it is really rude. You wouldn't want me coming up to you and grabbing your ... I don't know, ears or something, would you? [ Not really analogous but whatever. Humans don't have a cool horn equivalent. >:| ]

Like I know! It was this weird guy with no mouth. He grabbed them twice! I don't know what his deal was, other than being creepy and invasive!

Hey, I'm not deformed, fuck you!

Man, it's like you've never heard of an alien before. What kind of lame, backwards place hasn't heard of aliens?

Luckily 's the kinda place where most people don't turn out lookin' like they shack up in sewers.

Forget it! I don't see why I have to play by their stupid rules. Not until I get something in return for all the stuff they took from me!

You must have had some pretty valuable stuff. I can see why that'd suck. I'd be upset too in your shoes.

[ ... she knows that text. That distinctly ornery grey text!

Yeah!!!!!!!! ]

[ Hey they aren't all awful and unpleasant! Just most of them. Vriska being one of the shining stars of unpleasantness. ]

Yeah! The best powers. I was a God Tier player in my game! Do you know what that means? Of course you don't, you're just some random idiot. But anyway, it meant I was pretty much the best at everything. And they took all that away from me! [ GRR. ]

Wow. You totally suck at this cultural sensitivity thing! [ On purpose, she can tell. She 8n't even mad. ]

What's your deal? Are you insulting me because you feel insecure about yourself? [ ::::) ] I understand. I am pretty awesome! It's normal to feel insecure around someone as great as me.

Well, I still have my two most valuable things. So that's not a total loss ........ I guess. But one of them is useless now without my powers! Ugh, so cheap.

Why the hell would I feel anything like that around you? You look like a cross between a toad, a person and some sort of....I dunno. Leech.

The fuck are you anyway--an' don't say "ayleean" again because I dunno what the hell that means.

Powers, huh? Are you some kind of super hero? Cool.

Because it's a natural reaction! [ Leaving the rest alone. She isn't really bothered by it, though seriously, a toad? That's almost sort of a backwards compliment, all things considered. ]

Anyway, I'm a troll! Duh. Are you so stupid that you need me to go get a dictionary and look up the word alien for you???????? I thought all humans knew basic stuff like this.

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