asgardeventide | ①

[ What's up Asgardians. On this particular video feed, there is this stupid troll kid grinning a mile wide at all of you from her crosslegged seat on her bed. And she's got these sharp fangs and bright yellow sclera, some candy corn horns, and solid gray skin. Oh, and one of her eyes has seven (!!!!!!!) pupils.

Yeah, she is basically sort of hoping she freaks some people out. Being an alien sure has its benefits! ]

Okay, so let me get this straight. Whatever powers we had, we all lost them. Which, by the way, is still total bullshit! And it's all because of those fakey fake "gods" that keep telling us they're in charge. They kidnap us from all our homes and dump us here and take and take and take things from us, and they expect us to give them something in return!

What a load of hoofbeast shit. I ain't doing nothing for no fake gods! Instead I will just take advantage of the stuff they've given us and not give anything back. Sounds like a fair deal to me!

Oh, by the way. For all you humans just meeting your first alien, here is a tip. Don't grab our horns! [ YES WITNESS SHE IS REFERRING TO YOU. EVEN IF YOU AREN'T HUMAN. ] It's really rude! Kind of a cultural faux pas. You should all try to be a little bit more culturally sensitive! Jeez.

While I am here, I expect something in exchange for that tip! Why don't you all tell me whatever ridiculous "god house" you were put in? Hahahaha. So stupid.

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Wow. How do I look even a little bit human to you? You need to get your eyes checked.

[ It's hard to tell if she's mildly indignant or just sort of surprised someone could be so oblivious. ]

... wait, what did you just say? "Everypony"? What the hell does that mean?

Well, not... exactly like the others I've seen. But pretty close? [ She sounds a little unsure now, since the girl was all like "lol no."

But she straightens a bit at the next question. ]

Oh, sorry. Is there another term I should be using? [ Paaaause. ] "Everyhuman?"

Not really!

[ A brief pause of her own. Then Vriska starts to griiiiiiiin. ] Wait, let me guess. You're another of those hoofbeasts that got turned human, aren't you?

"Hoofbeast?"

If that's supposed to mean "pony," then yes. Yes, I am a pony.

Whatever! Fine, we can use the weird alien word for it. Pony. Hey, did you ever find your friend? She had purple hair too. I lent her my jacket, and she was really rude to me! Jeez, I guess hoofbeasts don't have any manners. Whoops, I mean "ponies." Hahahaha.

I've met my friends. But I certainly wouldn't describe any of them as rude.

[ Okay, except Rainbow Dash. And Spike, on occasion. ]

But if you lent one of them your jacket, then thank you. That was really very kind of you.

Maybe you just don't know them as well as you think! I mean, I was only trying to help, and she just brushed me off!

[ heheheheheheheheh ]

........ sure! Yeah, it was. I mean, she owes me a favor now, but that's only fair, right?

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