23 [Voice]

[smartwinchester]

[So the practical jokes are all in good fun, and Sam is a fan of laughing. But Sam is not really a fan of gods playing tricks on other people, because you know what?

Gabriel is a fucking asshole, that's what.

So instead of taking part, Sam is stoutly refusing to be affected through being a stubborn asshole and is instead being a do-good spoilsport, because that is what Sam does best.]

You know, the last time I was on the receiving end of a practical joke, I was put into daytime television hell where I was forced to be in a sitcom, a Japanese gameshow, a hospital drama, and a genital herpes commercial.

[There is a slight pause.]

Anyone who tries to do anything to me, harmless or otherwise, should remember that I have guns and I know how to use them.

[Don't touch his shit, losers. :') But on a more serious note:]

I collected data on the spirits that attacked recently -- but I'd appreciate anyone else's experiences to add to what I saw personally.

[And the feed ends.]

Comments

[alternia_strength]

What, precisely, is a sitcom, and why would you be in one?

[Just be glad he didn't ask about the herpes commercial.]

[smartwinchester]

It's a television show with a scripted laugh track.

[It sucks.]

And I was in one because someone had both a lot of power and a really awful sense of humor.

[ voice ]

[likesprojects]

Wow, that sounds like a really elaborate practical joke.

[ voice ]

[smartwinchester]

You'd be surprised how bored some supernatural creatures can be.

[mulletrock]

That was, what, three years ago? Somebody's got a grudge. This is the real Loki, dude, and sure- he's an asshole, but he's bush-league compared to Gabriel. And you know it.

[smartwinchester]

I have reason to hold a grudge.

[A bit flatly, hrgh.

That six month thing with Dean being dead is something he won't forgive.]

[etoaktagamat]

What are all these things?

[She means sitcoms, gameshows, hospital dramas, and genital herpes.]

Those spirits were strange. So much anguish. Holding onto lost lives...

[smartwinchester]

Nothing you want to get trapped in, that's for sure.

[With a slight huff.]

Vengeful spirits tend to act that way.

[necrowmantic]

Sounds like you had it pretty rough~

[Not that he understands what most of those things are. He barely knows what a television is by now.]

But what'd you figure out about the spirits? I got stalked by loads of 'em, but I don't think I learned a single thing.

[smartwinchester]

Spirits generally aren't volatile and vengeful. There are plenty of ghosts and spirits in my universe that won't raise a finger to you; they just watch.

[Sam scratches his cheek.]

That being said, they were affected by some of the same techniques of dispelling as my universe.

voice;

[pushesgently]

You must lead an interesting life.

[12th-century-guy only knows about what half of those things even are, but he can hazard a guess that the other half aren't any better.]

voice;

[smartwinchester]

You have no idea.

[justonetouch]

Uh... a herpes commercial? Ah'm not sure how someone can force you into that.

[smartwinchester]

[Hello, miss Rogue.]

Very carefully.

[Irritably.]

It wasn't the shining moment of my career, that's for sure.

video.

[swedge]

Wow, someone's a ray of sunshine today.

[ seriously who put salt in your cookies bro. ]

Please tell me it was one of those yoga herpes commercials. Those are my favorite.

video.

[smartwinchester]

Shut up.

[That's a yes. :')]

voice.

[livedtwice]

That sounds terrible and all, but I don't think anyone here can really do that.

... And, er, because of that, maybe you shouldn't bring up the guns.

voice.

[smartwinchester]

The amount of power the gods can wield say otherwise, so I'm not exactly holding my breath on good-natured horseplay.

[Pause.]

And I'm not actually going to shoot anybody, so everyone can relax.

[video]

[shinybaldhead]

You're threatening to shoot someone over a whoopie cushion.

[ Gunn is -- okay, no, he's just straight-up amused. ]

[video]

[smartwinchester]

[Anyone who's met Sam before knows he's not actually going to go on a killing spree and that he's just in a poor mood, but --

-- this individual hasn't, and Sam dislikes making bad first impressions, so he sighs.]

No.

[Pause.]

But the first person who gets a rubber chicken near me is going to get it.

[Video]

[comeonthensexy]

[ Deadpan. ]

You're threatening violence. Over harmless practical jokes.

[Video]

[smartwinchester]

Yes.

[Equally deadpan.

-- until he can't quite manage it and Sam holds his hands up, shaking his head.]

I'm not actually going to shoot anybody over a practical joke. I just don't want any part of it.

[Bad experiences, man.]

[Video]

[freezerburned]

Harsh.

[He raises an eyebrow.]

You don't- actually have... [Coughcough.]

[Video]

[smartwinchester]

[THE FLATTEST LOOK EVER]

Guns? Yeah.

[You wipe that thought from your little werewolf head Isaac Lahey or he'll forget he likes you.]

[Video]

[dragonspeak]

[He really didn't understand half of what you just said, but he does get that you're threatening people with guns. For pranks.

Tsk tsk.]

Should have said something earlier. I might've put something in your breakfast...

[Video]

[smartwinchester]

[oh come on SAM WOULDN'T HURT A FLY]

That's a hanging offense.

[Somewhat dryly.]

[Video]

[unbrokenwheel]

[Leo lifts his protective goggles up and steps away from the anvil just to shake his head.]

...Herpes. Okay. I thought the spirit selling what the gods did to each other was bad or Shrimpzilla.

[Video]

[smartwinchester]

It's pretty disgusting, that's for sure.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

A genital herpes commercial.

[What.]

How did that happen exactly?

[smartwinchester]

I pissed off an archangel and he thought it was funny.

[Truth.]

[advocacy]

You collected data on them?

[Is this a normal thing to do?]

[smartwinchester]

Yes.

[That's what Sam does ok.]

voice;

[gymnast]

How did you end up in all of those things as a practical joke? [ That makes no sense. Unless he's friends with a TV producer and was drugged or something... Or like Candid Camera or whatever, but. ]

voice;

[smartwinchester]

The angels in my universe aren't exactly winged fluffy hero types.

[ -- well. Some of them are. Castiel, he supposes, is a hero type, but he's far from fluffy. In fact, he's pretty much the opposite of warm and fluffy. He's kind of an asshole.]

I ticked one off and -- there we have it.

video;

[watchher]

[ Okay, so-- sitcom hell sounds horribly interesting and not even that implausible to Giles, which maybe says a lot. But there's something he's more honestly pinged by, here, and he's willing to skip over the herpes for it. ]

Data? I'd be interested to know what you were able to note.