1ST JEER [text]

[deudly]

HEY.
HEY.
THE FUCK IS THIS? THE FUCK WAS ALL THAT?
WHAT IS ALL THIS BULLSHIT ABOUT HOUSES. AND GODS. AND OTHER BORING BULLSHIT. WHO CARES?
THAT BITCH PRATTLED ON. FOR SO LONG. I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE. OF BOREDOM. SO I STOPPED LISTENING AFTER A WHILE.
HEY. HEY.
HEY!!
I WANT ANSWERS.
DON'T THINK I WON'T KEEP DOING THIS. UNTIL YOU GIVE THEM TO ME. GUY BEHIND THE COMPUTER.
NOT THAT THIS IS A COMPUTER. IT'S MORE LIKE A SHITTY BRACELET.
BUT WHO CARES I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE.
I AM HOLDING YOU AT RANSOM. UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME. I WILL KEEP THIS UP UNTIL YOU DO.
ALSO. BEFORE I FORGET. WHERE ARE MY GIANT OGRES?
I SWEAR IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO MY OGRES. I WILL KILL YOU.
......
CAN I AT LEAST HAVE MAROON-STRIPE HAT BACK?
I SERIOUSLY JUST GOT HIM AND I MISS HIM ALREADY.
WHAT A PAL.
HE LET ME RIDE ON HIS SHOULDER. AND PUNCHED SOME WEIRD HUMAN SO HARD. HE RIPPED A HOLE IN THE UNIVERSE.
IT WAS GREAT.
MAROON-STRIPE? WHERE ARE YOU??
DAMMIT SOMEONE ANSWER ME!!!
I AM NOT SHUTTING UP UNTIL YOU DO.

[Don't tempt him, he is more than willing to be the biggest petulant brat in all of the universes until he gets his way.]

[ooc: An opt out post if anyone decides that they really REALLY don't want me to tag them with Caliborn. It won't get better from here folks.]

Comments

text;

[nukeoleptic]

whoah
you are very green

text; 1/2

[deudly]

WHOAH.
THAT IS. SO AMAZING.
I NEVER KNEW. HOW GREEN I WAS.
WHOAH!
SO AMAZING!
I THINK THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE HAS SOMETHING STUPID TO SAY TO ME. I WILL REPLY JUST LIKE THAT.

text;

[deudly]

WHOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
DID I DO IT RIGHT?

text;

[nukeoleptic]

oh yay you are green and also a huge asshole
that is super great to know!
i was going to offer to answer your questions :T

text;

[deudly]

WELL HOW ABOUT YOU TRY AGAIN.
THIS TIME. WITHOUT BRINGING UP THE OBVIOUS.
YES I AM GREEN.
I ALSO HAPPEN. TO NOT BE HUMAN. AT ALL!!
WHOAH!!!!!!
AMAZING RIGHT?

text;

[nukeoleptic]

[ Not a human?? ]

well you type in bright green with a dumb quirk
so i am guessing you are a troll?

text;

[deudly]

NO.
HELL FUCKING NO.
UGH. JUST THE THOUGHT IS REVOLTING ENOUGH.
I'M A CHERUB.

text -> video

[nukeoleptic]

[ -- and without warning, Jade flips her end abruptly to video. WILL SHE CATCH YOU, Caliborn? ]

text

[deudly]

[Well yeah. Unlike a certain dead sister, he doesn't care what people think of him. So he's there alright, in all his green skull glory. But he's doesn't really notice that Jade turned the video feed on her end, so he keeps on jamming his finger into the bracelet's touchscreen keyboard.]

HEY.
ARE YOU THERE?
DON'T THINK YOU CAN IGNORE ME. DUMB BITCH.

video

[nukeoleptic]

[ Oh you're like an angry bright green Karkat IS THAT HOW IT IS. ]

What did you just call me?

text --> video

[deudly]

I CALLED YOU A
WAIT.

[That was her voice right? That voice sounded vaguely familiar. He grumbles for a moment before figuring out how to switch from text to video and looks at her. It clicks almost right away and he grins.]

Hey! I know you! You're the dog girl! The one that punched Dirk!

video

[nukeoleptic]

[ YEAH that is definitely not a reaction she had anticipated as even a possibility. ]

What? Who told you about that??

video

[deudly]

No one! I saw it on my monitors. Hey, if you're here, then all those other losers are too right?

video

[nukeoleptic]

That depends on who you mean by 'losers.'

video

[deudly]

[He gives her an annoyed look and groans.]

Don't act dumb. Dirk. Jake. The two raunchy bitches Jane and Roxy. I know you know who they are!

video

[nukeoleptic]

Jake and Dirk and Roxy are here. I've never met Jane.

video

[deudly]

What?! Of course you met Jane! Right before you zapped some fucking weird thing onto her head that turned her into a crazy-eyed freak shouting OBEY. I always knew she was a fucking weirdo. But lets face it. You humans are fucking weird overall.

video

[nukeoleptic]

I saw her, I haven't properly met her. There's a difference, you know.

[ She seems guilty, though. ]

How do you know all this?

textjack

[tipsygnostalgia]

hey jane
did i ever tell u the story about callies fuck head bro
the one that murdered her


well.....

[nukeoleptic]

wait seriously??
is this him??

text; threadjack i have a problem

[feathery]

hahaha what you punched dirk?

text; PINK

[nukeoleptic]

it wasnt my fault!!!!!!!
i was being mind controlled D:

text; so many things to tag in pink

[feathery]

yeah i just saw dirk mention that
wtf??

text; hi caliborn-mun sorry weep

[nukeoleptic]

ummmmm
it is a really complicated story
mostly in that i dont understand really what was going on

text;

[feathery]

how hard did you punch him
was it legit