asgardeventide | 1ST JEER [text]

HEY.
HEY.
THE FUCK IS THIS? THE FUCK WAS ALL THAT?
WHAT IS ALL THIS BULLSHIT ABOUT HOUSES. AND GODS. AND OTHER BORING BULLSHIT. WHO CARES?
THAT BITCH PRATTLED ON. FOR SO LONG. I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE. OF BOREDOM. SO I STOPPED LISTENING AFTER A WHILE.
HEY. HEY.
HEY!!
I WANT ANSWERS.
DON'T THINK I WON'T KEEP DOING THIS. UNTIL YOU GIVE THEM TO ME. GUY BEHIND THE COMPUTER.
NOT THAT THIS IS A COMPUTER. IT'S MORE LIKE A SHITTY BRACELET.
BUT WHO CARES I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE.
I AM HOLDING YOU AT RANSOM. UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME. I WILL KEEP THIS UP UNTIL YOU DO.
ALSO. BEFORE I FORGET. WHERE ARE MY GIANT OGRES?
I SWEAR IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO MY OGRES. I WILL KILL YOU.
......
CAN I AT LEAST HAVE MAROON-STRIPE HAT BACK?
I SERIOUSLY JUST GOT HIM AND I MISS HIM ALREADY.
WHAT A PAL.
HE LET ME RIDE ON HIS SHOULDER. AND PUNCHED SOME WEIRD HUMAN SO HARD. HE RIPPED A HOLE IN THE UNIVERSE.
IT WAS GREAT.
MAROON-STRIPE? WHERE ARE YOU??
DAMMIT SOMEONE ANSWER ME!!!
I AM NOT SHUTTING UP UNTIL YOU DO.

[Don't tempt him, he is more than willing to be the biggest petulant brat in all of the universes until he gets his way.]

[ooc: An opt out post if anyone decides that they really REALLY don't want me to tag them with Caliborn. It won't get better from here folks.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ok. Got it. Jade dog it is.

Ugh. Whatever, Caliborn Ugly Alien.

WHOAH!!!! Sick burn there Jade dog. Just. WHOAH!!!!

You're a jerk.

WHOAH!!!!

HAH HAH HAH.

[And he'll just be laughing here for a little while. This bitch is amusing. He's gonna keep her around.]

I like your sister better.

[He immediately stops laughing at the mention of his "sister" and makes a lowly snarl.]

Don't you fucking mention that dead bitch in front of me. She was a pathetic excuse of a Cherub who got what she deserved.

What happened to you?

[ It's just a struggle to believe that he might just naturally be like this- Calliope has seemed sweet, from what she's seen. ]

What the hell are you talking about?

Why are you so mean? What's even fun about it?

All Cherubs are assholes. Even she is a huge asshole. She just doesn't show it.

She is not. Roxy isn't friends with assholes.

SHE JUST HAS YOU ALL FOOLED. LIKE THE SUCKERS YOU ARE.
LIKE OK. I WILL ACCEPT THAT I AM THE BIGGER ASSHOLE. BECAUSE'S SHE'S A FUCKING FAILURE OF A CHERUB.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE HER A FUCKING SAINT.
SHE WANTED ME DEAD JUST AS MUCH AS I WANTED HER DEAD YOU KNOW.
NOW. IS THAT SOMETHING A NOT-ASSHOLE WOULD WANT?
I DON'T THINK SO.

Well.. did she have a good reason for wanting you dead?

SHE WANTED ME DEAD FOR THE SAME REASONS I WANTED HER DEAD.
THAT'S HOW WE CHERUBS ARE.
YET SHE GOES PRANCING AROUND. LIKE SHE'S BETTER THAN ME. IT MAKES ME SICK.

"How cherubs are"? You're genetically fratricidal?

I have no fucking idea what fratricidal is.

Uhhh. Do you all want to murder your siblings?

I don't HAVE siblings. She isn't my sister! She's like...I don't even fucking know what word you humans use for it. Ok. Just think of us like two people sharing one body. Now two people sharing one body is fucking stupid right? Well, that's why when the time comes one person in the body takes over by killing the other person in the same body.

The way to do this is vague and nobody even knows how it actually works, but the process is call predomination. The point is that at one point in our lives, one Cherub in the same body is going to overtake and kill the other Cherub in the same body and become one individual Cherub on their own. And if they do that? They get their cheek swirls filled out completely to prove they have won.

See! [He says, pointing to the fully colored dots on his cheeks.] It's kind of like a game. Winner gets a whole body to themselves without needing to share and loser dies, ceasing to exist. I just so happened to make the process go by faster by getting rid of her rid of her without going through all the vague bullshit, because lets face it I was going to win anyway. She never stood a chance! She was never as strong as me and wanted to play nice in a game that determined whether she lived or died. It was pathetic. She even tried to cheat by telling Roxy her name while she was still alive.

1ST JEER [text]

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video; PRETEND I DIDNT USE TEXT AGAIN FFFSS

video; LAUGHING no i understand

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