[Video]/Action for Hel

[parasiteye]

[ Today's video post starts with lots of glare; sunlight streams directly into the feed through a window for several second until whoever's got the camera on shifts--apparently pulling their arms down from above so that they're held at an angle where there's just a view of the windowsill and their hands. Normal people hands with black nails and a lovely little midget wolf spider dangling between them. They'll twist upward so they stand parallel with the window, and as the spider taps at his hands to test the waters Kaz will start speaking like he's talking to someone off-screen. ]

Okay, so...I guess the first thing is glad t'see you're eatin' right. I mean you started off super-puny so I figured you'd be dead by but seriously, look at you. Totally fattening up there. Good work~ When it gets warmer I'll sneak some of the good stuff in for you. My treat.

I'd tell you not to pay me back but s'not like you've got anything I want. Your place is pretty empty...the other idiot that lives here can't decorate for shit. [ And while he carries on the little wolf spider will drop to his thumbs and start crawling around there, scoping out the large "O" he's made with his fingers to spin a web ]

So, rule number one. Always keep your legs up--right, yeah, like that. Up up so she thinks you're bigger than you actually are. That's the most important thing since as soon as she's on top of you that is basically it: no escape. Don't waste time trying to overpower her because you're obviously not gonna be able to do that. Just go in with your teeth and bite her as much as you can...wait no--first you gotta get up on her back make sure you're on top and then bite her.

When you stick 'em in go right for where she's soft. That's your best bet to give her as much as you've got. If you're lucky it'll be quick and you can get the fuck away before she figures it out.

[ CONGRATULATIONS ASGARD YOU NOW KNOW HOW TO FIGHT A SPIDER. That's what he just described....ye...p.......

GIVIN' ADVICE TO ALL THE ARACHNIDS. ]

You got all that Qhhth'ssqhk? This is important shit. [ YES HE ALSO NAMED THE SPIDER SHUT UP. ]

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[showmeanguish]

[Snrk, caught. Vanitas just smirks a little, and leans his shoulder against the doorway.]

Well, in that case. Guess this means you've finally snapped. I kinda thought it'd take longer.

diaf

[parasiteye]

Shut up Vanitas--why the fuck are you even back, don't you go out for longer normally? [ don't ask why he knows this. He'll also be rather carefully easing the tiny thing back up into it's original web. ]

Re: diaf

[showmeanguish]

[And that gets a slight raising of his eyebrow.]

And you're the one invading my room. So deal with it.

[parasiteye]

Whatever! I'm not crazy so shut up.

[showmeanguish]

Not until you explain why you're getting your panties in a twist over it.

[parasiteye]

Don't use expressions that are too old for you.

[showmeanguish]

[This is the most defensive Vanitas has ever seen him, and it's hilarious.]

Stubborn. Fine, I'll say it if you won't: you snuck in to talk to my spider.

[parasiteye]

[ sdkjskdgskdgsdgks hit the nail on the head ]

--So?!

[showmeanguish]

[it was pretty obvious by the convo. And to that, he just shrugs.]

You tell me. I'm not the one freaking out.

[parasiteye]

No one's freaking out--!

[showmeanguish]

Embarrassed, then.

[parasiteye]

Shut up.

[showmeanguish]

How come? It makes sense that you'd talk to spiders.

[parasiteye]

.....It does? [ wait whaaaat ]

[showmeanguish]

You told me yourself, remember?

[Or, well, Vanitas finally remembered more bits and pieces of conversation from the night Euri got them shit-faced.]

[parasiteye]

Not particularly, no. [ sjkgsk Kaz never pays attention to anything he says HE WAS MORE INTERESTED IN WATCHING THEM GET REALLY DRUNK ]

[showmeanguish]

[shrug] Doesn't matter. You're a spider demon; it'd be weirder if you didn't talk to your own kind.

[parasiteye]

.... [ Well that SORT of makes sense but ugh Vanitas of all people telling him this. This feels weird. ]

I guess so.

[showmeanguish]

But breaking into my room to do it... is less amusing.

[parasiteye]

Not my fault you suck at locking your door. You should get a better one--an' why are you even back here anyway??

[showmeanguish]

'Cause I live here, idiot.

[parasiteye]

Yeah, well...you're usually gone longer.

[showmeanguish]

...

[have a slight narrowing of his eyes] How long've you been keeping tabs on me?

[parasiteye]

[ Don't you give him that look mister B( he can stalk if he wants ]

Why~? You worried I'm gonna do something?

[showmeanguish]

No, just wondering how pathetically bored you've gotta be to know all this.