[Video]/Action for Hel

[parasiteye]

[ Today's video post starts with lots of glare; sunlight streams directly into the feed through a window for several second until whoever's got the camera on shifts--apparently pulling their arms down from above so that they're held at an angle where there's just a view of the windowsill and their hands. Normal people hands with black nails and a lovely little midget wolf spider dangling between them. They'll twist upward so they stand parallel with the window, and as the spider taps at his hands to test the waters Kaz will start speaking like he's talking to someone off-screen. ]

Okay, so...I guess the first thing is glad t'see you're eatin' right. I mean you started off super-puny so I figured you'd be dead by but seriously, look at you. Totally fattening up there. Good work~ When it gets warmer I'll sneak some of the good stuff in for you. My treat.

I'd tell you not to pay me back but s'not like you've got anything I want. Your place is pretty empty...the other idiot that lives here can't decorate for shit. [ And while he carries on the little wolf spider will drop to his thumbs and start crawling around there, scoping out the large "O" he's made with his fingers to spin a web ]

So, rule number one. Always keep your legs up--right, yeah, like that. Up up so she thinks you're bigger than you actually are. That's the most important thing since as soon as she's on top of you that is basically it: no escape. Don't waste time trying to overpower her because you're obviously not gonna be able to do that. Just go in with your teeth and bite her as much as you can...wait no--first you gotta get up on her back make sure you're on top and then bite her.

When you stick 'em in go right for where she's soft. That's your best bet to give her as much as you've got. If you're lucky it'll be quick and you can get the fuck away before she figures it out.

[ CONGRATULATIONS ASGARD YOU NOW KNOW HOW TO FIGHT A SPIDER. That's what he just described....ye...p.......

GIVIN' ADVICE TO ALL THE ARACHNIDS. ]

You got all that Qhhth'ssqhk? This is important shit. [ YES HE ALSO NAMED THE SPIDER SHUT UP. ]

Comments

[showmeanguish]

[Oh, he knows. He's just not gonna honor that with an actual response.

And at that question, his nose wrinkles slightly.]

Let's just say it wasn't anything I ever wanna go through again, alright?

[parasiteye]

Taking that as a yes then. How'd you get her off? I haven't seen any bruises or broken bones on her, so...?

[showmeanguish]

With my powers. Wasn't too hard when she realized I wasn't doing anything back.

[parasiteye]

An' have you spoken to her since then, or...?

[showmeanguish]

[Headshake. It's been mutual avoidance since then, as far as he can tell.]

I'd wondered if she'd said anything about it.

[parasiteye]

Why would we ever talk about you? [ Besides the gossip they happen to dabble in now and then but that's nothing, really. ]

[showmeanguish]

Why wouldn't you?

[c'mon, he knows there had to've been a few conversations.]

[parasiteye]

Because most of the time we're doing that thing you'll never have honey. [ And yes, he's using the "adult talking to a young child" voice and everything here. Completely with a shoulder pat. ]

[showmeanguish]

[Too bad, Vanitas just smirks in response.]

I'm devastated. But you already admitted she'd asked about me, so nice try.

[parasiteye]

[ Damnit will you let him win a conversation for once B|]

Euri talks about you, not me. [ wryly. oh-so-wryly. ]

[showmeanguish]

[Nope. B)]

And that's why I wondered if she'd said anything. Pretty easy logic, huh?

[parasiteye]

Aside from askin' if you're available there's not a whole lot we talk about alright? You're kind of boring.

[showmeanguish]

Ouch. Way to cut me to the quick. [But he sounds dry and deadpan...]

Guess it really embarrassed her, then.

[parasiteye]

Haha, probably--it's pretty fucking easy to do that though.

[showmeanguish]

...

[He's the most unsure. Does he really want to know?]

Kinda surprising, considering her personality.

[parasiteye]

That's mostly just a front--a few of the right words and you can pretty much have her in tears. All girls are like that, you just need to know the right ones.

[showmeanguish]

[...He sounds pretty confident about that.]

That so?

[parasiteye]

[ he's had lots of practice ]

I've seen her cry over the dumbest shit like three times since I've known her. It's so.

[showmeanguish]

Like...?

[parasiteye]

Yeah, no. I'm keeping those ones to myself, thanks. Find your own way to make her upset.