01. Video

[hopefulpageturner]

[Hellooooo Asgard! There is...Is that John Egbert? No? I didn't think so. But he looks sorta like him. He's standing outside, right outside of Freya House, and he's got the communicator extended so it's got a rather full view of his face.]

Pardon my intrusions, all of you folks that may be out there, but I seem to have found myself in quite the pickle! You see, last I recall I had just found myself becoming the most recent target of a rampaging seagoat, and I fear that the blasted creature may have been my maker!

I was curious, and I do hope I'm not being an utter bastard by intruding, if someone might be able to inform me if this is the afterlife! I fear that if that may be the case, then whoever our almighty creator might be, has underestimated me, and my interests! I don't see any wild game hunting ranches or women of a navy composure waiting on me hand and foot!

But that nonsense aside, if it wouldn't be a bother, would someone be kind enough to inform me if my assumptions are correct? My appreciation will know absolutely no bounds!

[And the feed ends.]

Comments

video.

[moribundity]

You might be dead, but this is no afterlife.

video.

[hopefulpageturner]

[He blinks, rather surprised.]

You'll have to excuse me, chum, but I don't follow.
How can one be dead and not be in the afterlife?

text;

[synesthesic]

ONLY H4LF OF YOUR 4SSUMPT1ONS 4R3 CORR3CT
YOUR3 NOT D34D
BUT TH1S 1S JUST 4 W3LL-FURN1SH3D S34GO4T PROT31N S4CK

text;

[hopefulpageturner]

[Oh. Is this one of UU's friends? Hold on, adapting to your quirk!]

Now now i dont think this place is all bad!
Its got itself quite the rustic old world charm to it.
Im quite looking forward to having myself a gander at this place!

video;

[gluttivi]

[She listens to the entire feed, but can't help that one thing jumps out at her...]

A rampaging seagoat?

video;

[hopefulpageturner]

Why yes I did! [A grin.] You see I live on an island where there are all of these most fascinating beasts roaming about!

video

[exposes]

Did you just say "seagoat"?

video

[hopefulpageturner]

[He smiles brightly.]

Why yes, yes I did, miss! They're rather frequent encounters of mine, but ever so troublesome!

voice;

[takebow]

[Everyone else seems to have elucidated the seagoat enough, so...]

...Your interests are hunting and ... what, exactly?

voice;

[hopefulpageturner]

[He laughs rather brightly, almost like his words are dripping with confidence.]

Navy composed women! Azure babes! Cerulean ladies! Sapphire broads! Blue chicks!

TEXT.

[pounces]

:33 < *ac is roused by all of the commotion*
:33 < *she purrks up curiously and eyes the newcomer*
:33 < *she informs him that he doesnt look dead at all!*
:33 < *and s33s that he s33ms to be near her house too* x33

TEXT.

[hopefulpageturner]

*Oh goodness. A roleplayer!*
*Has been preparing his entire life for this moment!*
*And it seems that his partner is a character of feline identity, composes self with the most dignified posture!*
I must thank you wholeheartedly for the reassurance that I'm not among the deceased!
Where might your residence be if you don't mind my intrusion?

[ video ]

[myjunes]

Um.. this isn't heaven. [ Nanako's at least sure of that, yup. ]

Besides, are there really 'hunting.. ranches' in heaven?

[ video ]

[hopefulpageturner]

[He stammers a little bit, and uses all of his panache to respond to her.]

No, this couldn't be heaven! Why would the Almighty take such a young, beautiful lass like you before her time?

[He grins.]

I'd always thought that heaven was what the people within it made of it! That it was personalized for every single one of us. Mine would have big game hunting ranches where I could spend all day searching for wild animals!

text

[straightforward]

[Jade's power of omniscience may have disappeared when she got to this place, but she does manage to remember what Jake looks like. She's about to respond with video when she realizes he probably wouldn't recognize her - and she wouldn't to confuse him any further when he just got here, so she goes with text instead.]

no, you are not dead!
at least i hope not :\

text

[hopefulpageturner]

I have certainly come to that conclusion!
But i keep squirming about like a fucking worm!
I just want to go somewhere and see all of this place!
But lord knows if i'd be able to even find my way back here!

video

[waypastcool]

Well, I sure can't speak for anyone else, but I'm still alive and kickin'!

[...Also, man. This guy looks like another dude he talked to. Weird.

Well, Jake, say hello to a blue hedgehog. Yup.]

video

[hopefulpageturner]

[Stare down in 3...2...1...]

Good lord. You're a hedgehog.

[Pause.]

And you're blue.

[crabby]

WOW.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU WOULD REMEMBER GETTING MUTILATED HORRIBLY BY A MONSTER?

[hopefulpageturner]

Miss uu?
Oh no pardon me. i thought you were someone else.
I know someone else who uses the same font color as you do.
Sorry! Oh but yes. i suppose you're right!
I probably would have remembered something like that!
But it may have bitten off my head first, you see!
And i don't very well think i'd remember something like that!

[video]

[hypertoxic]

[ ... he does look like John. How strange. Vriska leaves the video on, propping her chin on a hand and eying him critically. With all 8 of those pupils. Yep. ]

What's your deal?

[video]

[hopefulpageturner]

[Stare. Stare. Stare.]

[Does he...sense a slight...blue-ish hue to this lovely woman?]

[And eight pupils?]

[And spider-like finesse?]

[Oh dear.]

[Jake may or may not be fumbling into his pockets for his kerchief, because oh my. Vriska. You are stunning.]

I'm afraid my deal is a rather poor hand, and you, my darling, have produced a royal flush.

[honky]

you talk
WAY
to motherfuckin much

[hopefulpageturner]

Oh dear im so sorry!
I thought i had made this brief!

[biifurcatiion]

[Holy crap it does look like John Egbert.

Not that Sollux ever really got more than a glimpse of him, but. You never forget a face you want nothing to do with?

Or sometimes you do.]

wow you 2ound liike a tool.
no wonder kk hate2 your gut2, i mean fuck, iif ii had deciided two talk to 2omeone liike that all the tiime two iid probably get iirritated two.
ii mean ii wouldnt go overboard liike he doe2, that guy2 a 2ap for that 2ort of thiing, but wow.
you really thiink youre dead, dont you?
you are completely one hundred percent 2eriiou2 about that que2tiion.

[hopefulpageturner]

[One moment! Adapting to his quirk! Interesting usage of 2's there, buddy!]

I beg your pardon?
Kk? Who the devil is that? do i know that bloke?
I'm sorry if i've bothered you. but is there something wrong with how i've phrased myself?
And actually, no! i quite believe i am still alive now! i've had my question answered!
Although at first i was quite sure that i had bitten the big one!

video

[dorkways]

If you are trying to impersonate me you got the look kind of right but I don't sound like a douche that eats dictionary for breakfast!

video 1/3

[hopefulpageturner]

Excuse me! That sounds incredibly--

video;

[sup]

[ who's this douchebag???

dave furrows his brows, leaning into the screen provided by his bracelet to scrutinize the face.

not quite john egbert, but close enough. ]

Dude.

video;

[hopefulpageturner]

[Don't mind him. He's just...going to assume that you're Dirk for a moment.]

Oh! Dirk! I didn't realize you were here! Why didn't you say something sooner! How the fuck are you?