NPC POST - VIDEO

[asgardswisdom]

Before you start complaining, [ said with a Look, because he knows some of you probably already have ], let me set things straight.

This is not a punishment. I've been content to let you guys roam about and track mud through my house like misbehaving toddlers since Day One, and I'd be content to continue doing so until our business is done here. But isn't, and we don't have time to dick around anymore.

Thiazi's attack wasn't random. It was desperate and sloppy, which means one thing: she knows we're coming for her.

[ He wants to be viciously pleased with the idea of her panicking, but he is nothing close to amused right now. ]

The only way she could know that is if someone on the inside told her. We don't know who, and we don't know how, but we can't afford that kind of liability. These laws are in place to protect you. We can't fight a war on both sides of the wall.

Be vigilant. Look after each other. It's going to be down to you to keep each other safe.

[ A pause, a blink. The ever eternal silent sigh. ]

You have questions. Ask.

[ OOC NOTES: This is the official kickoff for the new martial law! Ask your IC questions here, and let us know if you want any god in specific, as they'll be hanging around this post. The log for weapons registration, rationing, and Red Scare flavoured shenanigans is over here. Let us know if you have any questions! ]

Comments

[asgardstricks]

Your loss, man. I just got in some sweet silk underpants that I can totally do without.

[sleight_of_hand]

Silk underpants...?

[For a moment, he's almost tempted, but then...]

...wouldn't your pants just slide off with something like that under them?

[asgardstricks]

You ever heard of a belt before?

[sleight_of_hand]

Still, there are other things to slide around!

[...unless gods didn't... actually... have that? No, wait, this was Norse mythology stuff. They had that.]

[asgardstricks]

Dude. You've never work silk underpants before, have you? That's half the fun of it.

[ Is a god making a dick joke? Why, yes. Yes he is. ]

[sleight_of_hand]

[...he can't even.]

H-how is that fun?

[...sliding around back and forth like that... well, maybe but...]

[asgardstricks]

If you can't figure it out for yourself, there's no hope for you. None at all.

[sleight_of_hand]

H-hey, c'mon, that's not fair. I make a detective's wages back home; how am I supposed to know what rich stuff is like?

[asgardstricks]

Now's your chance, big guy! Once in a lifetime opportunity, here - and if we lose the war, that'll be literal! Live it up while you can!

[sleight_of_hand]

Uhhh...

[...oh dammit, why is he being goaded into trading his booze for a pair of underwear?! BY A GOD?!]

[...wait, would Harley like them? She made fun of him the last time for his "tidy whities" as she put it...]

[Oh dammit!]

F-fine! Just this one! I'll just... go hit up the self brew place if I need a fix...

[asgardstricks]

[ The literal actual best day. ]

Good man! Leave your part of the deal at my temple, and a brand spankin' new pair of silk underpants will be waiting for you when you get home.

[sleight_of_hand]

[...well, it worked when he asked for his gun back, so what the hell? Still, this face? This is the face of a man that is anticipating to be screwed over.]

All right. I'll stop by at the end of my shift.

[asgardstricks]

[ At least he'll be ready for it, 'cos there sure ain't gonna be any silk underwear coming his way. He said 'home', he didn't specify here. ]

[sleight_of_hand]

[You know what? He's not even surprised.]

[Though if he ends up home and has a pair of silk shorts waiting in his jail cell, he'll flip out then.]

[asgardspride]

... I just want you to know that I'm judging you so hard right now.

[asgardstricks]

Don't knock it 'til you try it, little cousin. I'll get you your own pair, special order.

[asgardspride]

You know the answer to that already. You can't goad me like you can these idiots.

[It was infinitely easier to goad him.]

[asgardstricks]

That's on you. Luxury items won't be around long, and these idiots will end up with the last of 'em.