Voice; 2

[tonsofpun]

Okay, time to lighten the mood.

[Because after all this shit that's happened, she needs to smile. She needs something, anything, to take her mind off all of this and for a second, remember that being alive is good, and right.

And maybe to remember a simpler time.]

I've got this book of puns, right? Well, back in the day, it kinda used to be my thing. And I figure you guys could use this. Or groan, whatever.

Here goes.

A clown held the door open for me the other day.
I thought it was a nice jester.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder.
He got a little behind in his work.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Pffft.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

[That one actually makes her laugh out loud.]

Comments

voice;

[grimmig]

I heard the scarecrow got promoted because he's outstanding in his field.

voice;

[tonsofpun]

[Groooan.]

Oh man, I've heard that one too!

voice;

[grimmig]

Aw. Are you telling me I'm average? That's just mean.

[ is this going to fly over her head what age do they teach this in school who knows ]

voice;

[tonsofpun]

[There is silence before a very long, loud groan.]

Oh my god. That one. Ugh.

Who was the roundest knight?

Sir Cumference.

voice;

[grimmig]

[ a slight, tiny huff of breath ]

Not bad.

I used to hate maths, actually. That was before I realised the decimal had a point.

voice;

[tonsofpun]

Pffft.

I never liked math, but I'm not ready to get off the subject.

[And that one was weak, so have an extra.]

Sir Cumference was round, yeah, but I blame all the Pi.

voice;

[grimmig]

This is getting to be like the time a friend sent me ten puns, hoping at least one of them would make me laugh. No pun in ten did.

voice;

[tonsofpun]

Thaat's a groaner. C'mon, tell me some new ones.

Okay, science?

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

voice;

[grimmig]

[ oh, dear. that one stinks of steadily composting humour. it gets a wry laugh that tapers out into a sigh ]

Okay. Okay.

Renewable energy? I'm a fan.

voice;

[tonsofpun]

Grooooaner.

[Snickering.]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

voice;

[grimmig]

That's awful. [ good work. ]

I was gonna tell a joke about sodium... but na.

voice;

[tonsofpun]

... that one might be a little out of my field.

[Man, there's a bunch of these she doesn't get.]

voice;

[grimmig]

Ah. Not quite got to the periodic table yet? Shame, you missed out on a good one.

Want the blow by blow?

voice; private;

[hadbadays]

[ Oh, no, you don't. ]

Don't even think about it.

voice; private;

[grimmig]

Sorry, that was a bad one.

voice; private;

[hadbadays]

That is not what I meant.

voice; private;

[grimmig]

Isn't it? My.

voice; private;

[hadbadays]

I mean it. Don't even think about it. Leave her alone.

voice; private;

[grimmig]

What's the matter? Afraid she'll scoff to death? I'm good, but I'm not that good.

voice; private; whoops have another

[grimmig]

Or maybe I am. I could give it a go? Nah, she seems like she's heard most of them. It'd probably happen the other way around.

[ yes he's going to chat to himself here aw— ]

She's fun, though, isn't she?

voice; private;

[hadbadays]

If you get near her ...

[ Then, if she doesn't shoot him, John will. ]

voice; private;

[grimmig]

Careful. You'll tempt me.

voice; private;

[hadbadays]

[ Bugger. He thinks he might have reacted too rashly there and ... made this worse. Shit. ]

Just stay away.

[ And hanging up. ]

not here;

[grimmig]

[ you fucked up, boi ]

not here;

[hadbadays]

[ Cries. ]