asgardeventide | Voice; 2

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Voice; 2

Okay, time to lighten the mood.

[Because after all this shit that's happened, she needs to smile. She needs something, anything, to take her mind off all of this and for a second, remember that being alive is good, and right.

And maybe to remember a simpler time.]

I've got this book of puns, right? Well, back in the day, it kinda used to be my thing. And I figure you guys could use this. Or groan, whatever.

Here goes.

A clown held the door open for me the other day.
I thought it was a nice jester.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder.
He got a little behind in his work.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Pffft.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

[That one actually makes her laugh out loud.]

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Aw. Are you telling me I'm average? That's just mean.

[ is this going to fly over her head what age do they teach this in school who knows ]

[There is silence before a very long, loud groan.]

Oh my god. That one. Ugh.

Who was the roundest knight?

Sir Cumference.

[ a slight, tiny huff of breath ]

Not bad.

I used to hate maths, actually. That was before I realised the decimal had a point.

Edited (forgot a word............. wow) 2014-02-16 19:27 (UTC)

Pffft.

I never liked math, but I'm not ready to get off the subject.

[And that one was weak, so have an extra.]

Sir Cumference was round, yeah, but I blame all the Pi.

This is getting to be like the time a friend sent me ten puns, hoping at least one of them would make me laugh. No pun in ten did.

Thaat's a groaner. C'mon, tell me some new ones.

Okay, science?

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

[ oh, dear. that one stinks of steadily composting humour. it gets a wry laugh that tapers out into a sigh ]

Okay. Okay.

Renewable energy? I'm a fan.

Grooooaner.

[Snickering.]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

That's awful. [ good work. ]

I was gonna tell a joke about sodium... but na.

... that one might be a little out of my field.

[Man, there's a bunch of these she doesn't get.]

Ah. Not quite got to the periodic table yet? Shame, you missed out on a good one.

Want the blow by blow?

Bummer.

And sure, go ahead.

Ellie.

Careful.

[Instantly, her voice is alive with suspicion, and maybe a touch of fear. John's earned her trust, and he's never seen fit to warn her about something before.]

What?

Jim Moriarty. He's basically the Voldemort of my world.

[Silence greets that. Ellie can understand and easily grasp the full weight of it.]

... who'd he kill?

God knows. Sometimes it feels like he just might have had a hand in every committed crime - at least ones that take some planning - but from what I know, he paid a cabbie for killing four people, strapped bombs on four people for a sort of game with Sherlock and blew one of them up when she started describing him, and was a hair's breadth away from killing Sherlock. Or me and two others, depending on how that turned out.

[ And John's very tempted to make him pay for that one, now that he actually could. But he's not that rash of a man.

Still. If he gets the chance, maybe. ]

Edited (I'm sorry WORDS ARE HARD) 2014-02-18 11:37 (UTC)

Jesus.

[It comes out in a whisper. Man, just when she thinks she's home free.]

What do I do?

[ Good question.

Honestly, John doesn't know how to deal with Moriarty. Sherlock would be a better person to ask but the motherfucker is asleep, and god knows how long he'll stay that way. Some timing he has! ]

Sherlock's a better person for this but he's ... in one of those dreaming of home states, I guess. Shit. That git, choosing now of all times--

[ He knows it's not Sherlock's choice, of course. But still.

There's a heavy sigh, and the very vague sound of him scrubbing a hand over his face. ]

Back home he had this intricate network that he won't have here, so at least that takes away some of the danger but ... he's dangerous on his own too. He's unpredictable. Makes plans and then changes his mind in the blink of an eye. Just ... try not to play along with his games, or mess with him. If you're quiet he might write you off as not worth his time.

Edited 2014-02-19 18:49 (UTC)

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[ fun's ruined now, he knows it. John Watson's on the scene. but still, it opens up interesting new avenues. new avenues like what'll she do—

he's offered her some knowledge and it's no skin off his back to keep on handing it over. ]

Here.

[ a pause while he shifts to video and you get a lovely view of his great little sketch here and his finger pointing out the appropriate parts ellie aw: ]

This here's the atomic number, the atomic mass... we'll skip over those, not very punny. This, this is the symbol. Basically a shorthand for the name, handy when you're writing out equations - in the case of sodium, it's Na.

So when I say I'm going to tell you a joke about sodium, but na...

[ aaaand there we go. he's speaking like not a thing's changed, like John hasn't come to him to warn him away, like he's not fully aware he'll be playing Papa John as they speak. what'll you do, dearheart? how do you play the game? ]

Okay, that's pretty clever.

[You'd think that she'd sound a little... off. But she doesn't. Just as cheerful as ever. Either she's a hell of a little actress, or John hasn't warned her yet.]

[well. as long as she'll afford him the chance to keep playing, he doesn't mind if he does~]

Opens up a whole world of opportunities. Hundred and eighteen elements, and then you've got compounds. Whole banquet of science puns just waiting for you to dig in.

Don't tell me you don't have any more?

Oh, I do. But I'm afraid you might get bored with me. That book of yours seems quite extensive, and you've got quite an arsenal of your own.

Nah.

[She half-laughs, breathes out.]

I love stuff like this. It's a good break from the rest of it.

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