Voice; 2

[tonsofpun]

Okay, time to lighten the mood.

[Because after all this shit that's happened, she needs to smile. She needs something, anything, to take her mind off all of this and for a second, remember that being alive is good, and right.

And maybe to remember a simpler time.]

I've got this book of puns, right? Well, back in the day, it kinda used to be my thing. And I figure you guys could use this. Or groan, whatever.

Here goes.

A clown held the door open for me the other day.
I thought it was a nice jester.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder.
He got a little behind in his work.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Pffft.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

[That one actually makes her laugh out loud.]

Comments

permavideo;

[tonsofpun]

[The first part throws her off, before she realizes it's- oh man, even the adults are getting in on it. She cracks up, hard. It feels good.]

That's -- shit, that's a good one.

[sufferably]

( the grin that earns her is gone in about twenty seconds, but it was there all the same. )

Don't play if you're not gonna win. Isn't that right?

[tonsofpun]

You challenging me, old man?

[She sounds delighted.]

[sufferably]

I dunno, kid. You think you could handle it?

[tonsofpun]

Fire away. Let's see what you've got.

[sufferably]

Well, speaking of fire. You ever hear about the father who caught his son setting blazes behind their house? Told his wife, "I don't want arson doing that."

[tonsofpun]

Speaking of getting in trouble with the law-

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

[sufferably]

( he makes a noise that sounds remarkably like "pfft," like he's trying not to laugh.

Glad to hear it, kid.

You know that all pessimists have the same blood type? B-negative.

[tonsofpun]

Oh, that's a good one.

Uh, the small babies are delivered by stork. But for the big ones, you need a crane.

[sufferably]

I could use a couple of those. ( the miracle of life is great and all, but. )

The most common reason painters are hospitalized is too many strokes.

[tonsofpun]

Ohhh, that's sad.

[Uh, shoot. Wrack the brain.]

What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.

[sufferably]

That might be my new favorite.

And here's a question-- does a coffee shop have the grounds to operate in the black?

[tonsofpun]

... okay, no idea. Go ahead.

[sufferably]

No real answer, kid. That was it.

[tonsofpun]

The grounds to op-

Ohhhhhh, man. That sucked.

[But she's giggling anyway.]

[sufferably]

Figured that was the point.

[tonsofpun]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[sufferably]

Still, I think yours are better than mine. I'll stick to my day job.

[tonsofpun]

It was a good showing.

[Gracious winner. Some of the time.]

I'm Ellie.

[sufferably]

Nice to meet you, Miss Ellie.

I'm Doctor McCoy.

[tonsofpun]

Just Ellie, dude. You can't call somebody "Miss" after a battle of the puns.

All right, Doc. So are you a medical doctor, or a professor of something?

[sufferably]

Medical, mostly. And for the record, I introduce myself that way so people know they can come to me if they need help. ( not to be pretentious. he leaves that to spock. )

[tonsofpun]

[Ellie nods, carefully, but suddenly in all seriousness:]

... d'you know anything about fungal infections?

[sufferably]

Native and extraterrestrial varieties, darling. You got a problem?

[tonsofpun]

[The 'darling' brings her up short a bit, but she presses onward.]

What do you know about cordyceps?

[This part, at least, is general information. She can give him the rest later if he seems like he might be able to help.]