tonsofpun: (Before my time)
「ᴇʟʟɪᴇ ❛ᴡɪʟʟɪᴀᴍs❜.」 ([personal profile] tonsofpun) wrote in [community profile] asgardeventide2014-02-15 10:00 pm

Voice; 2

Okay, time to lighten the mood.

[Because after all this shit that's happened, she needs to smile. She needs something, anything, to take her mind off all of this and for a second, remember that being alive is good, and right.

And maybe to remember a simpler time.]


I've got this book of puns, right? Well, back in the day, it kinda used to be my thing. And I figure you guys could use this. Or groan, whatever.

Here goes.

A clown held the door open for me the other day.
I thought it was a nice jester.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder.
He got a little behind in his work.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Pffft.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

[That one actually makes her laugh out loud.]
cons: (☢ lol вιll мυrray)

voice;

[personal profile] cons 2014-02-16 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my god.

[ but she's laughing, at least, so there's that ]

I've only got one pun in my arsenal and I'm probably going to mess it up, but-

A steak pun is a - [ a little slower now, not to try and make it funnier, but to make sure she's saying it right] - rare medium well done.
cons: (☢ leт'ѕ тυrn on all тнe lιgнтѕ.)

voice;

[personal profile] cons 2014-02-16 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ one day WIchita will realize she really is a huge softie, because making a kid laugh like that is pretty much one of her favorite things to do, but. today's not that day. instead she'll just try really hard not to think of Little Rock. right. ]

I wish I had more, but puns were never really my jive. Actually, anything with a punchline was a pretty big fail for me. [ ...what? she's from 2009. fail. ] But movie quotes, those I can do. [ a beat ] Okay, so pretty much mostly just Bill Murray movie quotes, but whatever.
cons: (☢ oн нaнaнaa!)

voice; shrieks omg i lost this notif

[personal profile] cons 2014-02-22 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
[ o-ow. it's like a Nam flashback, man. suddenly she's hearing Tallahassee saying "That's like saying you never heard of Ghandi" and it takes her a second to ..remember to react with more than just a long stupid pause ]

Eh, it's alright. My sister doesn't know who he is either.

[ and all of his movie quotes aren't going to sound that funny without context, ah. damnit. ]

There's this one line from Kingpin I abuse pretty regularly, but it's not funny, it's just "You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels." It just speaks to me. And there's also pretty much any line from Ghostbusters, even if it's completely irrelevant. Finding a reason to shout "don't cross the streams!" is a pretty normal occurrence in my car.
cons: (☢ ι'll нυмor yoυ.)

voice;

[personal profile] cons 2014-02-22 07:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ she laughs ] This is going to sound batshit, but it came out in the 80s, so hear me out. The movie is about these guys who --bust ghosts, yeah, and the machine they use to do it is basically a paranormal vacuum, two dudes wear it on their backs and have to work as a team. And to catch the ghosts they have to aim these like, laser jet streams of sciencey power at the ghost, trap it between the two streams, and lower it down into this box thing that somehow traps it. But if you cross the streams it just blows up and ruins everything, so, can't cross the streams.

I like to think of it as my token "don't fuck this up" catchphrase.
cons: (☢ genυιnely ιnтereѕтed.)

voice;

[personal profile] cons 2014-02-23 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
-- Do they have movies from our worlds? You don't don't even know how much I could go for a proper movie night.
cons: (☢ cнιpper cowgιrl.)

voice;

[personal profile] cons 2014-02-23 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
Space sharks. [ not that Wichita really watches a lot of bad horror movies, or horror movies in general ( typical, that her life would become one ) but she repeats it like it might ring a bell ] I've got nothin'.

And Ghostbusters was actually pretty creepy, but it's more funny than anything else. Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd. Ah.

[ she pinches her fingers together and kisses them, like she's talking about a delicious pizza. mwah! ]

Comedic perfection.
cons: (☢ daw i like you)

voice;

[personal profile] cons 2014-02-27 09:35 am (UTC)(link)
Deal.