001 ♔ Video;

[bratking]

It would seem that a majority of you have no idea how to properly address a King. I'm not sure if you were all raised in the wilds or if you're just willfully ignorant, but the correct way to refer to me is as Your Grace.

[He's still wearing his crown, even if almost no one here has actually cared about it so far. He's not going to stop dressing like a king just because people aren't treating him like one.]

Now that that's out of the way, I have a request: Could anyone tell me where I could obtain a sword? And a...'gun', it was called. I'm afraid I won't be of much help in the war effort without them.

[As if that's his primary reason for requesting these, but he'll pretend it is.]

Any aid provided will be rewarded in time. I don't forget my allies.

Comments

[bratking]

King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.

[Obviously. Well, in his opinion.]

[teenyoda]

... So that means diddly here, right? You're essentially king of whatever sand castle you build. Gotchya. Thanks for clearing that up.

[bratking]

It means something! Are you all too stupid to comprehend places other than your own? Are you always so rude to people from other lands?

[teenyoda]

Not usually, but then most people that come here don't throw off a handful of titles like that means anything. I'm king of pizza and Mario Kart, but you don't see me trumpeting that.

[bratking]

Then how do you know where others rank?

[teenyoda]

You don't? Because it doesn't really matter here. Unless you're one of the big loser gods, rank, titles, all that stuff doesn't matter. You're just one of us; a bracelet wearing boob consigned into a war.

[bratking]

Then how are battles organized? Does everyone just rush in? Do we all fight each other to see who gets to play leader like the savages?

[teenyoda]

Not really sure how people get chosen as leader. Not really my interest, if you get me. But from what I've seen, they let you know they're heading out and you can go or not.

Unless stuff happens here, and then you just sort of... kill all the bad guys. Or die yourself. Either way, there's a lot of death and blood and very fun times.

[bratking]

So you don't have to go?

[Oh, good, an option for cowards.]

[teenyoda]

No. They're not going to kick you out in line and tell you to march. You get your abilities and you can either work them up to be something useful or you can just... not.

[He shrugged.]

They've brought kids here, which just kind of makes me wonder what they're smoking. I wouldn't expect a ten year old to go running out on the field with a sword.

[bratking]

Have they ever sent anyone back for refusing to fight?

[Sorry, fate of this world, he just wants to go home.]

[teenyoda]

You know, I really have no idea why they send people back. They do, sometimes. Sometimes it's for good and sometimes it's just for a bit, then you get dragged back here. If you're lucky, you remember being here before. Or maybe that's the unlucky part. I haven't figured that out.

[bratking]

Do you get to take anything back with you, if they send you home?

[Because wow he could really win a lot of wars with guns on his side.]

[teenyoda]

Yeah... no. You don't even remember being here when you go back, so...

[bratking]

We don't even get to keep our memories? [He hates this place more and more with every passing second.]

[teenyoda]

Nope. You're wiped clean and sent back without a clue. And bonus points are that sometimes you get brought back here and you don't even remember being here those other times.

[bratking]

This is...the most poorly organized kingdom I have ever seen.

[teenyoda]

Hey, the line for bitching about the crappiness of how things run forms to the left, buddy.

[bratking]

Everyone's unhappy and no one's been able to do anything about it?

[teenyoda]

Hey, it's not like people haven't tried. But the freaking gods here can like... do things. Like... turn you into a fox things.

[bratking]

So they just do whatever ridiculous thing they like to us when they feel like it?

[Sounds a lot like Joffrey himself. Except, well, instead of turning people into foxes he decapitates them. But let's see if he shows some self awareness...]

That's horrible.

[Nope.]

[teenyoda]

Yeah, well, get used to it. And I'd advise not doing anything to piss them off. They can get real creative with their little curses. You can wind up married to your best friend or wake up with chicken hands.

[Only one of those had happened to him, Joffrey. Guess which one.]