uno | audio

[tumbler]

[The sound of a busy city square comes through first, with a bustling crowd muffled in the background. If you listen closely, you can hear someone... singing?]

[And he told our poor minstrel to leave or be hit, / before climbing a wall, the rude little-- oof-]

[That over with, a new voice, far less muffled and with an entirely different accent comes on the line:] Ah, if you fine citizens would indulge me so, I do wonder: what do you know of elves?

Comments

[tumbler]

Ah, is that the game we are playing, now? Answer a question with a question?

[tonsofpun]

Hey, buddy, I gave you one answer. Even if it was in the form of a question. I get to ask the next one.

[If he wants to play a game, they'll play a game.]

[tumbler]

Those are the terms? I suppose I cannot refuse, now. [Insert slightly over-done sigh here.] It has come to my attention that my understanding of elves is not shared anywhere else, with anyone else here. Very sad.

[tonsofpun]

[And suddenly she has waaay more questions. But she's good, and doesn't fuck with the rules. Not this time.]

Okay, your turn.

[tumbler]

Of the two you gave me, with, ah, which type are you more familiar?

[tonsofpun]

Never seen either one, so it's a crapshoot. Sorry.

[tumbler]

Then I believe it is your turn.

[tonsofpun]

What's your version of elves?

video.

[tumbler]

[Here, Ellie, have an image of Zevran leaning forward with a smile, his chin resting on the ball of his hand. His ears are clearly visible.]

video.

[tonsofpun]

That.

That's a good answer.

audio.

[tumbler]

I am glad to have impressed.

audio.

[tonsofpun]

Really impressed.

[Made her day, in fact.]

Nice face tattoos, by the way.

[tumbler]

Ha! I am glad to hear you have excellent taste, senorina. But I believe you owe me a question, now, yes?

[tonsofpun]

Okay, okay. So are you the naturey, live-forever in the forest kind of elf?

[tumbler]

No. And before you ask, I do not make shoes, either. Now, why have you never seen an elf, hmm?

[tonsofpun]

Because my world's got none. No dwarves or gnomes or fairies or mermaids, either.

[tumbler]

[How do you kn- no, wait, Zevran doesn't want to ask that.] Did it ever?

[tonsofpun]

Uh... don't think so. History's not my best subject, though. I think people stopped giving a shit about more than a few hundred years back.

Okay, so what do the tattoos mean? Anything?

[tumbler]

Hmmph. How terribly dull.

They are meant to accentuate my, shall we say, best features, so it was necessary to mark my face, in particular.

[tonsofpun]

Yeah, it sucks. But oh well, right?

[Big ol' shrug, anyway.]

They look cool.

[tumbler]

I will take this as a compliment. Fearsome, yet debonair, no?

[tonsofpun]

Badass.

[tumbler]

[Sure, whatever that means, kid.] Now, what do you know of these immortal nature elves, as you say. Yes, yes, they do not exist so far as you know. But what else do you know, hmm?

[tonsofpun]

... a lot of stuff.

What, they're supposed to live in remote reaches in the mountains and assist adventurers with epic quests and shit, right? Oh, and they're archers. Or wizards. Or one with nature or something like that.

[tumbler]

Assisting adventurers? Hm. And how do you know of them, if they do not exist, in the world you call home? More stories?