1ST JEER [text]

[deudly]

HEY.
HEY.
THE FUCK IS THIS? THE FUCK WAS ALL THAT?
WHAT IS ALL THIS BULLSHIT ABOUT HOUSES. AND GODS. AND OTHER BORING BULLSHIT. WHO CARES?
THAT BITCH PRATTLED ON. FOR SO LONG. I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE. OF BOREDOM. SO I STOPPED LISTENING AFTER A WHILE.
HEY. HEY.
HEY!!
I WANT ANSWERS.
DON'T THINK I WON'T KEEP DOING THIS. UNTIL YOU GIVE THEM TO ME. GUY BEHIND THE COMPUTER.
NOT THAT THIS IS A COMPUTER. IT'S MORE LIKE A SHITTY BRACELET.
BUT WHO CARES I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE.
I AM HOLDING YOU AT RANSOM. UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME. I WILL KEEP THIS UP UNTIL YOU DO.
ALSO. BEFORE I FORGET. WHERE ARE MY GIANT OGRES?
I SWEAR IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO MY OGRES. I WILL KILL YOU.
......
CAN I AT LEAST HAVE MAROON-STRIPE HAT BACK?
I SERIOUSLY JUST GOT HIM AND I MISS HIM ALREADY.
WHAT A PAL.
HE LET ME RIDE ON HIS SHOULDER. AND PUNCHED SOME WEIRD HUMAN SO HARD. HE RIPPED A HOLE IN THE UNIVERSE.
IT WAS GREAT.
MAROON-STRIPE? WHERE ARE YOU??
DAMMIT SOMEONE ANSWER ME!!!
I AM NOT SHUTTING UP UNTIL YOU DO.

[Don't tempt him, he is more than willing to be the biggest petulant brat in all of the universes until he gets his way.]

[ooc: An opt out post if anyone decides that they really REALLY don't want me to tag them with Caliborn. It won't get better from here folks.]

Comments

[TEXT]

[deudly]

[FINALLY some colorful text he can recognize.]

HEY.
LONG TIME NO JEER DIRK.
REMEMBER ME??
tumut
THAT SURE DOES TAKE ME BACK.

[TEXT]

[timaeus_testified]

You say that as if I'd ever forget you.
Trust me, you're branded into mind, now in some awful shade of neon.
Let me guess, you're in the House of Baldr.

[TEXT]

[deudly]

THIS ISN'T JUST ANY SHADE OF NEON DIRK.
IT'S HER SHADE.
I MAKE GOOD ON MY PROMISES. AND NOW I HAVE HER DISGUSTING BLOOD. STAINING MY WORDS.
BUT LETS NOT TALK ABOUT STUPID DEAD BITCHES.
WHAT THE FUCK IS A HOUSE OF BALDR?

[TEXT]

[timaeus_testified]

Each god has a house they place us in, for example I was placed in Odin's.
It's which one of them decided to yank you out of our world and into this one.

[TEXT]

[deudly]

FINALLY.
AN ANSWER THAT MAKES SOME SENSE.
OR ISN'T BOGGED DOWN WITH DETAILS. THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.
AS ALWAYS. YOU ARE THE MOST COMPETENT OF THE BUNCH.
HOWEVER. YOU ARE INCORRECT.
MY "HOUSE". AS IT IS CALLED. IS THORN.
NO WAIT I MEAN THOR.
YES THOR. THAT'S IT.

[TEXT]

[timaeus_testified]

[Oh the god damn irony here isn't funny. Or the God is screwing with him directly. That fucker.]

I see.
You'll get your chance to yell at him.
He posts to the network quite a fuckin bit.

[TEXT]

[deudly]

GOOD.
I GUESS I MAY AS WELL. TALK WITH MY PATRON GOD.
OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
THE CONCEPT OF BELIEVING SOMETHING THAT CAN BE FAKE. IS FUCKING INSANE TO ME.
BUT IF THIS THOR IS NOT FAKE. THEN I WILL CHAT HIM UP.

[i.e. jeer him until he rage quits.]

SO DIRK.
I NEED TO ASK.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED OUT THERE?
THAT WAS PRETTY SHODDY FIGHTING.

[TEXT]

[timaeus_testified]

[It takes him five seconds to zero in on what he means. Oh hell no. He saw that?]

What do you think happened?
I got unexpectedly sucker punched then ported outside of the session.

[TEXT]

[deudly]

I KNOW.
BY SOME DOG BITCH NO LESS. BEING CONTROLLED BY A FISH BITCH.
WHAT'S THE DEAL DIRK?
YOU'RE WAY BETTER THAN THAT.
IT WAS FUNNY. AS IT WAS PATHETIC.

[TEXT]

[timaeus_testified]

Man, no.
First off, her name is Jade.
Secondly, I'm not going to explain or justify this one.
It happened, that's the end of it.

[TEXT]

[deudly]

OK FINE.
YOU ARE HUMAN. SO IT'S NORMAL THAT YOU ARE AN IDIOT EVERY NOW AND THEN.
SO I WILL END IT HERE.
BY JUST SAYING.
THAT WAS.
SO.
LAME.

textjack again sry

[tipsygnostalgia]

hope your porn drawin skills are up 2 scratch

I'm not sorry

[timaeus_testified]

I don't care how many times you request it. I'm not drawing Jake eating more babies.

B)

[tipsygnostalgia]

but it was so raunchy + romantic
poor jake husband

[timaeus_testified]

It was tepid and ridiculous.

[tipsygnostalgia]

no it was pretty great

[timaeus_testified]

If you say so.
Speaking of Jake, he's overdue a check up.

[tipsygnostalgia]

yeah whats up with him actually
hes been making a hobby out of avoiding my recently

[timaeus_testified]

I don't want to talk about this in public.

[deudly]

I'M PAST THAT PHASE IN MY LIFE.
I'M FAR MORE FOCUSED. THAN I EVER USED TO BE.
BUT. ON THE OFF CHANCE I DO ASK.
HAVE YOUR PEN READY.

[timaeus_testified]

Sure you are.
So long as you don't nag me for it when I'm busy I could spare the time to do a few porn sketches.

[deudly]

I WILL NAG YOU. WHEN I PLEASE.

[timaeus_testified]

It doesn't mean I'll be answering every nag.

[deudly]

BUT. YOU WILL ANSWER SOME OF THEM.
AND THE MOMENT YOU DO. IT WILL BE MY VICTORY.

[timaeus_testified]

Implying that I'm seeing this as a battle. Which, by the way, I'm not. Relax, you'll get your porn at some point. I just have to be in the mood to steam up the glass.