on3 • [video + text]

[tongue3y3s]

[over the course of a few hours, seven fragments of video and sound posts are spammed from Terezi's bracelet. the slightly superfluous nature of the bracelet's holographic touchscreen makes it difficult for her to smell the contents of the screen, and one can't exactly lick a hologram so well. being a bright red button, Terezi is repeatedly drawn to the record button's luscious redness, resulting in the following:

- Day 230, Morning: A video of Terezi fiddling with the bracelet, flipping it over and over in her hands, smelling it, licking the stone. She turns her attention back to the hologram, sniffs at it, then messes around with a few of the controls. After a minute of this, she stumbles upon the stop button.

- Twenty-three minutes later: A blurry shot of Terezi's nose sniffing the colours of the screen for about fourteen seconds, before the video feed cuts off.

- One minute later: A half-second shot of the corner of her glasses.

- Two hours later: Terezi idly turns the bracelet touchscreen on and off as she explores Asgard. There's a two minute long video of her feet and the ground before she flicks it off again.

- Fifteen minutes later: A sound post, there's shuffling around, then footsteps, then Terezi's voice is heard talking to someone (something). She's too far away from the bracelet for it to adequately record, so the voice is unintelligible. The footsteps occur again, getting louder as she reapproaches the bracelet and touchscreen. This is stupid, she says, and twenty-eight seconds later the voice post ends.

- Four minutes later: She figures out the recording controls. Sort of. The sixth posts opens up to a shot of her face, blankly facing the screen for fifty-three seconds before she takes a hard sniff and asks, Is this... recording? The feed cuts off.

- Hour and a half later: A long video, eight minutes of her meticulously arranging the scene that appears in this post, before she turns around and sniffs at the touchscreen. She laughs all the way back to the bracelet, where it's seen propped against a rock. Terezi grins directly at the camera and lifts her hand to turn off the recording.]

1 4M GO1NG TO ST4B WHO3V3R D3C1D3D TH3S3 HOLOGR4MS W3R3 4 GOOD 1D34 >:[
TH1S 1S NOT V3RY S3NS1T1V3 TO MY D1S4B1L1TY

Comments

[biifurcatiion]

fuck that wa2nt where ii meant two go wiith thii2.
of cour2e ii would 2crew thii2 up, ii am the mo2t u2ele22 per2on iin the 2pace of any uniiver2e and the general iincompetency of my entiire exii2tence compound2 twofold every tiime ii actually attempt two do anythiing u2eful.
liike 2o criippliingly iineffectiive ii cant even manage two greet one of my olde2t friiend2, who the fuck even open2 wiith a 2hiitty iin2en2iitiive bliind joke riight out the gate.
the gate opened and ii liiterally ju2t triipped at the 2tartiing liine liike the world2 biigge2t chump and 2ma2hed my face all over the pavement, that2 how biig a faiilure that wa2.
for both our 2ake2, let me try thii2 agaiin liike a normal per2on before ii manage two drag your diigniity any further through the mud by even a22ociiatiing wiith me.
hii, tz.
iit2 been awhiile.

i made new icons because reasons.

[tongue3y3s]

HOLY FUCK SOLLUX C4LM DOWN
TH1S W4S SO F4R FROM N3C3SS4RY 1TS 3MB4RR4SSING M3
...
N1C3 TO T4LK TO YOU TOO
1 H4V3NT SM3LL3D YOU 1N 4 LONG T1M3

I'm probably going to take some, because reasons

[biifurcatiion]

yeah 2ame here.
that probably ha2 2omethiing two wiith the fact that iin 2omethiing liike two hour2 iinto my future back on the meteor ii expiire agaiin.
that tend2 two be a damper on gettiing out two 2ee people iive heard.
but for me you ju2t fucked off for a couple of month2 a2 people tend two do, ii fiigured youd be back eventually.

[tongue3y3s]

UH Y3S TH4T H4PP3NS
BUT 1 DONT TH1NK YOUR3 100% D34D Y3T SO TH4TS 4 PLUS
NOT TH4T 1T M4TT3RS 4NYMOR3
S1NC3 YOUR3 4L1V3 H3R3 4ND 4LL

[biifurcatiion]

yeah iit2 really only worth remarkiing on a2 an example of how nobody here know2 what the fuck anyone else ii2 talkiing about iin term2 of event2.
iit2 liike a tiime player2 wet dream up iin here.

[tongue3y3s]

UGH 1 H4T3 T1M3 BULLSH1T
WHY 1S 1T 3V3N 4 TH1NG >x[
4LL 1T DO3S 1S M4K3 L1F3 MOR3 CONFUS1NG TH4N 1T 4LR34DY W4S

[biifurcatiion]

2he 2ay2, haviing been caught up iin karkat2 crappy plan and thu2 leadiing two an iin2tance where 2he conviince2 her aliien boyfriiend two 2end her money back iin tiime 2o 2he could bully me iinto trackiing iit down and dii2cover the iin2ufferable priick iin the fiir2t place.
wow ju2t tryiing two fiigure out how two put that 2entence iin order two make iit 2ound le22 convoluted wa2 a paiin iin the a22.

[tongue3y3s]

BUT TH4T W4S FUN >:]
L1K3 4 MYSTERY

[biifurcatiion]

yeah but an overly compliicated and iincrediibly retarded my2tery that you had two 2et up for your2elf for iit two be a my2tery at all.
whiich 2um2 up all tiime 2henaniigan2 when you thiink about iit.

[tongue3y3s]

B4S1C4LLY
WH1CH 1S WHY 1 DONT USU4LLY L1K3 TH3M
BUT 1 M4D3 4N 3XC3PTION H3H3

[biifurcatiion]

ii am 2o honored you diid that ju2t for me.

[tongue3y3s]

OF COURS3
WHY WOULD 1 P4SS UP 4 CH4NC3 TO 1NCONV3N13NC3 4 FR13ND? <3

[biifurcatiion]

heh, well.
iim afraiid iim goiing two have two a2k you two take a number and get iin liine.
there2 only 2o much of 2ollux captor two iinconveniience and ii cant 2erviice everyone iin one day.

[tongue3y3s]

1 H4T3 TO 1NFORM YOU BUT 1 4M 4LL OUT OF BOTH3RSOM3 N33DS R1GHT NOW
TH1S PL4C3 1S 4STOUND1NGLY 4D3QU4T3, 3XC3PT FOR WH3N 1T COM3S TO PROV1D1NG 4 PROP3R R3SP1T3 BLOCK TO L1V3 1N

[biifurcatiion]

diid you experiience the miiracle that ii2 a pa2ty haiiry half dre22ed human walkiing iin on you whiile youre tryiing two take a dump yet.
becau2e you dont really get the full depth of how terriible they are untiil you realiize you cant even u2e the load gaper iin peace.

[tongue3y3s]

J3GUS GOG TH4T SOUNDS... HORR1BL3
1 H4V3NT B33N B4CK 1N TH4T SH1TTY H1V3 S1NC3 1 GOT H3R3, SO

[biifurcatiion]

ehhh, what?
2o where are you liiviing then.

[tongue3y3s]

1N TH3 FOR3ST OUTS1D3 LOK1 D1STR1CT
1 H4V3 4 WHOL3 COURTROOM S3T UP

[biifurcatiion]

wow how un2urprii2iingly unciiviiliized of you.
what hiive diid they actually 2tiick you iin though.

[tongue3y3s]

LOK1, YOU UNOBS3RV4NT 4SSHOL3
YOU 4R3 4W4R3 TH4T 1 L1V3D 1N 4 TR33HOUS3 R1GHT

[biifurcatiion]

ye2 dumbfuck.
that2 why ii wanted two know iif you actually belonged iin lokii or iif you were ju2t playiing troll tarzan of the jungle over there becau2e they happened two have a couple of tree2.

[tongue3y3s]

TH3R3 4R3 TR33S 4LL 4ROUND TH3 C1TY D1D YOU 3V3N LOOK 4T TH3 MAP? 1 LOOK3D 4T TH3 M4P 4ND 1 C4NT 3V3N S33 1T >:[
SOM3T1M3S 1 H4NG OUT BY TH3 S1GYN D1STR1CT B3C4US3 N3P3T4S H1V3 1S TH3R3

[biifurcatiion]

tz 2eriiou2 que2tiion tiime.
are you 2iittiing down, are you ready for the mad level2 of 2everiity ii am about two be2tow on your a22.
there ii2 a 92% chance that ii wiill never, ever, giive a fuck about a tree2 or where two fiind them.
ii do not even notiice that they exii2t.

[tongue3y3s]

FUCK YOU C4PTOR
TR33S 4R3 TH3 GR34T3ST TH1NGS S1NC3 PR3V1OUSLY SL1C3D GRUBLO4F, 3V3N UGLY BROWN 4ND GR33N TR33S

[biifurcatiion]

liie2.
you are a pan rotted wiiggler and dead wrong two boot.
do not iimpo2e your backwater hiick liife2tyle choiice2 on the re2t of u2 who have experiienced the awe2ome that ii2 ciiviiliizatiion.