asgardeventide | => 001

[The feed cuts in at the Heimdall Welcome Hall, and a troll that may be familiar to several individuals appears on the screen.]

WELP.

THIS SURE IS GREAT.

I LOVE BEING UPROOTED FROM ONE SHITTY SITUATION TO ANOTHER, MORE ASININE ONE. MOST DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE THING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. ASK ANYONE.

SO, WHAT? I GUESS I LIVE HERE NOW?? WHATEVER. I THINK I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SAYING HELLO TO EVERYBODY, BUT I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY.

[Karkat probably doesn't have time to actually say anything because there's suddenly a shout.] Karkat? Karkat! [The video feed is probably a blur of motion with lots of greys, blacks, and reds. There's a face that hasn't been around recently. Aradia has bounded over to Karkat and is basically invading all his personal space.]

When did you get here? Have you talked to Sollux or anyone else? A lot of our friends are here you know! You have to tell me what point of the timeline you're from.

[Aradia had lost her bracelet and is pretty much oblivious to what's been happening as of late.] I guess we got here at the same time! I mean I was here earlier but I lost my bracelet hehe.

ARADIA, STOP. I ONLY GOT LIKE HALF OF THAT--

HANG ON.

[The feed is cut.]

(( Grey is Karkat, Red is Aradia.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

OH TERRIFIC.
WHAT A WONDERFUL GIFT YOU HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME.
SERIOUSLY, I AM SO HAPPY YOU THOUGHT OF ME THE INSTANT SHIT STARTS HITTING THE FAN, AND ARE PASSING ALL THESE PROBLEMS UNTO ME.
THIS IS THE PERFECT PRESENT.
ONE THAT I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED.
YOU FUCKING BULGE.

your complaiint2 are duly noted, the adviice of thii2 offiice ii2 two 2uck iit up and DEAL WIITH IIT.
ii made 2ure nobody kiilled each other whiile you were gone and nobody diied but me and jade.
iit wa2 a rou2iing 2ucce22, ii wa2nt goiing two let you come back two an unholy dii2a2ter the liike2 of whiich are only riivaled by the actual apocalyp2e.
but now you are back and ii would liike two re2ume not giiviing a 2hiit.

Edited 2012-12-16 23:15 (UTC)

UGH, FAIR ENOUGH.
YOU MAY NOW RESUME YOUR DUTIES IN THE DEPARTMENT OF CEASING FUCKS.
WAIT, YOU DIED AGAIN?
JADE DIED HERE TOO??

yeah dont get worked up about iit, iit wa2 an acciident.
techniically ii've diied twiice here already but the fiir2t tiime ii got liike 2hot iin the back? iit wa2 really 2tupiid, we are not goiing two talk about iit.
and wiith jade, there wa2 thii2 huge battle and 2he wanted a 2pare battery but iit turn2 out when ii cea2ed two be the mo2t powerful p2ychiic thii2 2iide of any uniiver2e and 2uddenly diidnt have eye la2er2 and 2he 2topped beiing ma2ter of all 2pace our iinvulnerable bada22 2tatu2 got nuked along wiith iit.

OH.
WELL THAT CONFIRMS A LOT OF SUSPICIONS EQUIUS GAVE ME.
SO IT WAS JUST A BIG FUCK UP. GOT IT. SUBJECT DROPPED.
TAVROS JUST SAID DYING DOESN'T MATTER HERE. THANKS FOR CONFIRMING THAT I GUESS.

ba2iically.
ii dont even thiink you have two corp2e2mooch two provoke a reviival but ii diidnt get confiirmatiion on that, 2iince ii wa2, you know, dead both tiime2.

YEAH. I GUESS IT'S JUST SAFE TO ASSUME THE RULES FROM BACK HOME DON'T APPLY HERE AT ALL.
SO SINCE I'M ASKING EVERYONE APPARENTLY, WHICH HOUSE ARE YOU STUCK IN?

the 2hiitiie2t one po22iible.
heiimdall.
you?

SERIOUSLY?
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

oh no, are you here two?
2eriiou2ly??

APPARENTLY.
I GUESS I WAS IN HEL BEFORE??
A PRISON'S A PRISON, SO WHATEVER.

ok but 2ee iin the other prii2on2, you are actually cur2ed wiith the abiiliity two do other 2tuff than fuck your2elf over iin new and exciitiing way2!
by eiither ab2orbiing 2omebody el2e'2 liife threateniing iinjuriie2 or iinfliictiing your own by beiing a liiviing battery, whiich ii2 the word ii u2ed for a rea2on.
becau2e ii wa2nt kiiddiing, ii liiterally get dragged along 2o that when people run out of energy they can take miine.

WAIT
SERIOUSLY?
HOLY FUCK.
THIS PLACE SUCKS.

dude ii wouldnt liie about 2omethiing liike that.
ii mean FUCK, you know how ii feel about beiing the liiviing battery, liike ii diidnt have that hangiing over my head for my entiire fuckiing liife that ii miight get hacked off at the joiint2 and 2hoved iinto a 2hiip and then ii get 2tuck here doiing almo2t EXACTLY THAT.
iit2 iin2ufferably iironiic.
whiich diid you get, do you know yet.

DAMAGE DRAIN, WHICH I'M GUESSING IS THE OTHER ONE.
THIS IS
SO GREAT.
I AM SO HAPPY THAT THIS IS A THING.

man, 2uck2 two be you.
not a2 much a2 iit 2uck2 two be me, but 2tiill.

WHATEVER. I'M PROBABLY NOT GONNA EVEN USE THIS STUPID POWER ANYWAY, SO IT DOESN'T MATTER.

eheheheh ok, ii wiill 2tart countiing the niight2 untiil that biite2 you iin the a22 2tartiing riight now.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IS THERE A PENALTY FOR NOT ACTUALLY USING THESE SHITTY POWERS?

eh, iif you count gettiing thrown iinto iincrea2iingly de2perate 2iituatiion2 where the choiice two u2e them or not could mean liife or death, ii gue22 there'2 a penalty.

SUPER.
THE NEWS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.

doe2nt iit alway2.
you diidnt actually expect me two have anythiing po2iitiive two 2ay about thii2, diid you.

NO, HEARING ANYTHING POSITIVE FROM YOU WOULD BE WISHFUL THINKING.
BUT THAT'S COOL.
I'D RATHER HAVE SOMEONE TELL ME THE TRUTH THAN TRY TO MAKE THIS PLACE SOUND BETTER THAN IT IS.

dont talk two jade about iit then.

WELL, YEAH.
OF COURSE JADE'S GOING TO THINK THIS PLACE IS AWESOME.
THAT'S JUST HOW SHE IS, OR AT LEAST HOW I REMEMBER HER BEING.

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