asgardeventide | 01. Primus

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01. Primus | Video

[Kaworu comes to the screen with a kind and gentle smile.]

Hello. I'm looking for a piano or a violin. I'm not sure where I can find one; not to buy - I simply wish to play for a while.

[and now that is out of the way, he wishes to ask something else]

I do have another question. Are you happy?

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Only my soul is angel. This body is human.

[Ah...

Where do you even... begin...?

...]

[...]

...do you have many friends here? [He spoke of love before. And while Allen understands that (in his own way?)—he really, really does, loving humanity and having people to love, that—

Well...] People to spend time with. Have fun with.

[He has a point, he promises.] —it's important.

Edited 2012-10-28 21:21 (UTC)

[ Kaworu takes a moment. ] No. [ "friends" mean reciprocation. Kaworu also has a hard time with that. And besides, he never had "fun" per say. ]

I can spend time with other people in this place, though.

[Can?

But, ah—he cracks a bit of a smile.] That's a start.

People...

[Can he really... presume to tell an angel this? (He'd still question that except Kaworu... he almost doesn't seem capable of that sort of deceit? Just a vibe.)

It's a little brazen even to Allen, but:] ...humans are strong because of their hearts, right? Their feelings and beliefs, no matter what. [He shifts a little though, a little straighter, shoulders set.] That's what I believe.

...In my world, an Exorcist's strength is in their heart. Their human heart, even if the weapon is from God. [In some incredibly ironic twist, it doesn't even bother him to separate like that because he's never been a religious man. Ever.] We're chosen because of that.

But it's not just Exorcists, I don't think. Everyone's strong, because of what it means to be human. Their heart.

I just don't think that's the sort of thing people find in words. [Academic, clinical things.] It comes from having friends. A home. People you love, that you can do things together with.

It's the most wonderful thing.

So...

Edited 2012-10-28 22:11 (UTC)

Why not learn by doing instead of asking?

[It's—actually the most incredibly innocent question. Suggestion.]

More people would probably open up to you more if you shared it with them. [Because he's guessing from how Kaworu's spoken with him that he... probably doesn't have a warmer decorum with others. Not that it isn't kind and well-intentioned, but.

Well.]

I understand and acknowledge that love is, indeed, the most wonderful thing. I wish nothing but love to every human alive because you are so worthy of it.

However, I don't require it for myself.

[Ah...]

It shouldn't be about requiring it.

[a pause] I don't need it, then.

[—heh.]

It's not about needing it, either.

[ another pause. This time, he prefers to wait for some sort of explanation. ]

[Um—

There's a pause and some shifting around for a moment. Like he's sitting; getting comfortable. This is possibly one of the... strangest conversations he's ever had with someone he just met, but] —it's because people want to. Regardless of that.

[Simply:] And I think everyone deserves it. A chance to be happy—find friends and people to care about that care about them, too.

[But you're probably going to say that doesn't matter for you or something like that, which is why he continues.] Besides, it's a little different here, isn't it? Everyone gets brought here without their powers, so. In a lot of ways we're all the same. [Even if to him that's moot since it never really mattered in the first place. The humanity inherent in everyone.] Regardless of whether or not people decide to fight, it puts us all together.

[So—] I'm sure you'll find others that will feel like that—and want to be your friend because of it. [Since love is, well. He's a platonic person through and through. Friendship, camaraderie, feelings of family and belonging—] I'm certain of it. Not because it's required or not. Because they want to.

[yes good jesus at the angel, allen. nothing ironic here.]

That's all I mean.

It just seems sad otherwise.

Edited 2012-10-31 00:19 (UTC)

Sad? That is how I have lived all my life and I don't feel sad.

[ however ]

Reciprocation is still quite strange for me. Though, I do think I understand. The idea of being loved back feels quite nice.

[Ah.

He shakes his head a little.] No, I don't mean to say you are.

Sad, that is.

It's fine if you think so, though.

It's not a matter of it being fine or not. [THIS FEELS HAUNTINGLY FAMILIAR.]

Then?

I mean it makes me sad.

[Said so very simply. Honestly.]

Not because of any greater reason. It's something I wish I could do something about. Because I'd like to.

You?

[ a pause ]

Even though I don't mean anything to you, you wish for me to have someone?

[WELL, NOT "HAVE SOMEONE" EXACTLY. THAT SOUNDS KIND OF, WELL—

wow that actually manages to embarrass him for a moment.]

Of course. Is that strange?

[Ah—] Just because I don't really know you doesn't mean you don't matter. At all. [Everyone does. Argue humanity all you like, he still sees that. ~~Oddities aside.~~]

Everyone should be able to have those things. [c-clarifying just for his own peace of mind if nothing else:] Friends and people to belong to, that care about them.

[considering that kaworu has no notion of romantic or sexual love and everything is simply "love", he doesn't really need an explanation]

I don't matter. I'm unimportant; when one of us is gone, another would replace us, and individuality is unnecessary for our existence.

I—

[The response is immediate, but he cuts himself short. Almost looking a little, ah—

—almost looking a little wounded.

And sad.]

... I don't understand. [Soft, a little apologetic.] I'm not sure if I could ever claim to, or how it works [if you're an angel—and he's never really known that much about religion or given it a lot of thought] but...

That's not something I can believe. Everyone matters.

It's okay if you don't understand. Humans have a strong sense of individuality, though that's what brings them pain, so it's only natural for you not to understand my position.

[Yes, but it really stings.

There's a long pause as he weighs that.]

...What house are you in?

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