asgardeventide | 3; video/action

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3; video/action

[The feed opens up with a thud, the thud of someone's fist hitting the wall. And that would be what causes the bracelet activating at the same time.]

...you gotta be -- there's no way... [Some more, louder thuds as said someone goes into an unattractive temper tantrum.] I'll never-- I--

[Another thud and the bracelet deactivates without her having ever known it was on. But just a short while later, Yukari does intentionally make a video post. Because for some reason she feels it's chickening out on a text post. Her expression is cautious, neutral.]

...H-Hey. I know there's always a few of these messages, but... [y'all can suck it up] Minato-kun's gone... again, I guess. [She takes a breath, carefully concealing a catch in her throat.]

I... don't need to hear anyone feel sorry for me, okay? [Wait, why did she even say that? She regrets it immediately; nothing good can come of it. She either looks like a defensive idiot or alienates her friends, and either way looks totally self-obsessed, because obviously not everyone knows that they're -- Whatever. She's just rambling now... better get off this quickly.] I mean... Sorry, it's not that I wouldn't--ya know--appreciate that, but... [She waves a hand.] Just--Just don't want to hear that again. That's it.

[Ooookay. Still kind of a disaster. But that's as good as she can probably do right now, right?

She cuts the feed and then leaves Freya House to go wander the district and make her way gradually around, through Sigyn and back, just walking to cool off.]

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[She sighed and nodded. She didn't want to explain that pissing that side of her off could make things worse at times.]

Something... like that. As long as you make sure it stays that way, Yukari, I'll be happy. I don't want to have to apologize to you afterwards. I've had enough apologies for a while.

Well, you don't have to apologize to me no matter what happens, okay? I mean I know you prolly will even if nothing happens. But yeah. I'll make sure. I can take care of myself, ya know.

I will, but yeah. It's good that you know how to take care of yourself. And if we keep her out of sight, you won't have to.

That's the spirit...! [ She pats Sam on the back before draining the last of her drink.]

[She chuckled and set her own down, smiling over at her in a thin fashion. It didn't really reach her eyes, but her smiles rarely did.]

You want another, or you good?

Um... I'll have another, but I won't start on it for a coupla minutes... Yeah, that sounds good.

[She polished hers off and nodded to a waiter, whispering to him to bring another pair in a minute.]

It's easy to overdo it with these things. Don't go too crazy on them, Yukari. The fizzy goes straight to your head, though it makes things feel better faster that way.

... No harm in overdoing it just a little for one night, right? I already do feel better.

[She laughed and sighed.]

I'm going to have to help you back to Freya, aren't I? Not that it's always a bad thing. You deserve a break tonight. We all need to forget sometimes.

Yeah. Yeah, no, that's exactly it. Just for a day, ya know... I mean, I wish I could've done that at home, but -- you know what, it's better here. To do it here, I mean. There's none of the other stupid stuff... even if it keeps happening, at least I'm used to it now.

[ramble ramble...] Basically, I mean, I don't wanna forget about how I learned ... to forget. You know?

[That got a raised eyebrow and a waved motion. the drinks were in front of them pretty quick afterwards and she took a swig from her bottle.]

That's a two drink lesson, and I'm only at one drink. I barely feel this stuff some days, so I'm going to need to catch up.

Not sure I understand, but I think I get it. It doesn't work at home, but here it's ok?

No, I mean... I could never forget at home. Well, I couldn't drink anything at home. Or I could if I wanted to, but seriously the very last thing I wanted to do was ask some sketchy boy for a drink after Minato-kun--died I mean I didn't want to do it before, either. Anyway, it's different here.

And I couldn't. Because I promised him I wouldn't, I'd keep going, on, I mean... And so I was just barreling on doing stuff, and all the whole time I Was just holding on tighter when you're supposed to let go. You know, like, if you're supposed to loosen up but you tense up instead, when you're - stretching or aiming a bow or whatever. I couldn't forget at all because I was telling myself I had to the whole time.

[gulp]-- But then I got here and I got so much better at forgetting. It didn't hurt that he was here, and then gone again, and I guess I got practice at losing him, huh?

And that hurts too, but actually now that I know how, it's really... [She gestures with her drink.]

[She listened to all of it and then reached over to Yukari's hand and tried to put it around the drink, taking a swig of her own and nodding.]

You're so Freya it hurts. You're hung up on him in ways I can't even begin to imagine, and he's dead for you... I guess you can't go back and bring him back from the dead either. God.

No, you don't have to be that here. If he's here, enjoy your time together. Here's not there. Hell, maybe when it's done you two could stay a little longer. There's... nothing wrong with a little escape. Not once in a while.

Tonight, just drink yourself silly. I'll make sure you get home safe.

[She managed that out, but really this was more than she was used to dealing with. Yukari had issues, just like she had her share. She didn't feel selfish for dwelling on her own, but she didn't really have a solution to the kind of heart ache Yukari must have gotten used to pushing down. She'd never managed to get anything close to a real relationships, just half carbon copies of them that faded like mirages after blood and pain.

Was she opening herself to this kind of hell?]

Is he really worth it?

[drink drink drink. Yes she will, thank you very much.]

T-Thanks. [sigh] I don't know if I can bring him back from here. But I figure, if we really save the world here, don't we deserve something? I mean, that's what I figured when we did it at home too but [she lets out a short, barking laugh] obviously not, right? Instead he had to die and we had to come here and do it all over again.

And now he's not even here. I'm not saving any damn world if what I have to go back to is exactly the same as what I've got there. Here, I mean.

... Not that he won't be back. I'm sure he will be, but... I don't know. How could I know?

[She sighs, and it dawns on her that Sam asked a question.]

Oh-- Um.

... Yeah, of course he's worth it. I -- I love him, I mean, I really, have so much to thank him for... He helped me with everything. A-And I tried to help him, too, but it's not so easy to know about that, but it doesn't really matter, I do what I can and...

What's not worth it is everything else...

Honestly. I mean, yeah, what do I know, but - my dad, and him, and even some other of our friends-- what did I do to deserve everything like that? I mean, they're dead... They're really, seriously dead, they're-- the only place they're coming back is here. That's okay. Asgard's okay. But - you know? I never bullied anyone, [well, except Junpei] I don't think I did anything really bad. But my dad died, my mom became - well - she did some bad stuff, and then we have to fight and save the world and watch people die. And I really, I really do love my friends, but they all have other stuff, stuff that survived. So what am I doing, sitting there, staring at a grave while everyone else does their thing? Moving on to nothing, right?

[oh god, she is not even listening to herself now.]

... But I wasn't even the last person he talked to, you know? It was Aigis, he chose to die with Aigis, not me. Or maybe it wasn't a choice. How would I know? But he was lying there with his head in her lap, and she's the crazy robot who loves him more than anything and how am I supposed to compete with that? So...

[She starts drinking again.]

It's worth it... But not if he's not there. I don't even wanna do the right thing for anyone anymore. Maybe some people can be better people than that, maybe if this happened to them, they'd still say, well, I'm going to go on and keep trying to help people, but I'm not good enough for that. I just want something for myself again...

[Okay. She stares blearily at Samantha.]

Now is that a little heavy for you, Sam? [She laughs.]

[Her first response was to listen to everything, every last word of it. She nodded a couple times and her hand dropped to the table. Her tail lashed lightly and at one point probably grazed Yukari's leg. She felt the touch through it and pulled it back with an irritated yank.]

Edited 2012-10-13 17:48 (UTC)

You need more booze.

[She raised a hand and motioned the bartender over. The word whiskey was said. He raised his eyebrow and then left. She continued to listen to the story for a minute, and by the time that Yukari had finished, there were two glasses of something brown placed in front of them.

Her next action was to tilt hers back and drain it without a second thought. That resulted in a brief fit of coughing before she wiped her chin.]

Fucking drano... but it works.

[And then, her throat raw from alcohol, she spoke. When she did, it had a dry, wooden quality to it.]

I think if you asked most of the people in this city, they'd say you were a selfish bitch to demand that he be here, or that you have a 'reason' to fight for other people, other than to defend yourself.

[She gave her a hooded look, eyes pointed and narrowed. This was something of an important thing for her. She wasn't comfortable right now. Yukari had just dumped a lot in her lap, and she really wasn't used to having this much involvement in someone's life.

At the same time, she couldn't blame her. She'd agreed to this, and half expected it. It was her bed, and she'd lie in it.]

You're fine. It's your right to get what you desire from this, Yukari. You shouldn't walk into this situation and not receive what it is that you want from it. You want the love of your life to be alive again because of what you do, then I say you look to see if you can have him, see if you can find a way to cheat death, even if you have to crawl into the depths of hell, grab the ferryman by the scruff of his neck and cheat creation.

Long as you're not hurting anybody, it's your damned business what makes you fight. Better you know why you care than walk in just because people think you should. I'd kill to be loved that way. I just don't deserve it.

And yes, it's a little heavy for me, but I'll deal. You can put up with one of my stories some time and I'll bleach your brain.

[Yukari stares at the unappetizing drink before she grabs it and tosses it down.

Then she half-chokes and coughs a bit.]

Blech... Th-That's seriously... ew! Gross, how can you possibly...?!

[Oh, wow, and it suddenly makes her feel really warm inside, too. Whew.]

Man, oh man...

[She chases it with a long pull from her fruity drink and then laughs.]

Maybe I am a selfish bitch... But what do they know? None of them know that none of it pays off.

[She shrugs and then nods, a little woozily.]

Yeah. Yeah, you know what, you're right. That's what I wanted to do and that's what I'll keep doing. You're right about everything except one thing. Love isn't about... deserving it. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Maybe I don't. I kinda think I don't, but... That kind of thing happened anyway. You just have to not kill it when it comes to give it a chance, ya know? If you say you don't deserve it, fine, but if you shut it down whenever it happens just cuz you, you think you don't deserve somethin', well.

[She shifts in her chair to face her.] No one really deserves -- anything one way or another as far as I'm concerned. At least, not what ends up happening to them -- I mean - what - what ends up happening to them doesn't have any relationship to what's the relationship, between, what you end up--

No, no, wait... It just doesn't have any connection, you know? What you deserve and what you get. Even if you didn't deserve anything you might get it. But you got way worse than you deserved already. You haven't done anything wrong, you're totally fine but you got a--a--a shitty deal and that's just how it happened, ya know? But if you turn down the good stuff because of it that's on you.

[She perches on the edge of her chair.]

Aaanyway. Maybe you should tell me one of those stories now. It'd take my mind off all this stupid me crap.

[She was looking at her over her drink, feeling herself getting just a bit of a buzz from it, chuckling and shaking her head. She never imagined Yukari would be nearly this talkative when drunk. She was already chatty as it stood. Made sense though.]

Alright. I'll tell you the pieces of a story. It'll give you an idea what I think about deserved things and what you get. As long as nobody else's getting hurt, I'm a big believer in laying claim to something I want.

You can get a shitty deal, but the only way sometimes to beat that's to grab it for yourself.

There was this girl. Dusk. Real bitch, to be honest. I don't know why I cared what happened to her, but maybe it was just the fact that she was the first person who gave a rat's ass about me or what I did, besides just wanting to use me or kill me. It was stupid. We hated each other's guts, kind of, but she saved my life one time [right after causing her to nearly die, but she didn't go through with it. That was what mattered.]

Some jackass killed her. Smug, arrogant bastard who was on the opposite end of some ancient war. Shoved his fist right into her chest and tore her heart out. I was pissed, beyond pissed. I still don't really know that I'm sure why. Maybe she was mine to kill. Maybe she was the closest thing to a friend I'd had even if we wanted to beat each other senseless. Maybe...

Anyway, I wasn't going to let it end that way.

[She took another swig of what remained in the fizzy drink, debating another.]

[Yukari is listening. Oh, man, she is listening. With the intentness that only a fair amount of alcohol consumed fairly quickly can deliver to one's actions.

She grimaces at some of the harshness of Sam's story, and she openly blanches at the "ripping out the heart" part, her grip on the table tightening, but when she temporarily pauses, she first guesses Sam's thought, and:]

... Maybe for both of us.

[And she indicates as such to the waiter.]

Okay, so... Someone -- killed your ... frenemy. And then...?

Frenemy... going to have to remember that one. Heh.

[She called for some water and another drink. She had a bit of a hunkered look to her while she continued the story. It wasn't exactly the most pleasant story that she had, though far from the worst.]

I found her body, in the woods near where we met. She was still warm. I knew a few old tricks, so I preserved it and locked it away somewhere nobody would find it. Magic has its uses, if you know how to work it. Once I had her locked away somewhere safe, I went looking for a way into hell.

Hell's not a place you ever want to go, and I'd ended up there before. Dragging myself down to the edge was about the last place I wanted to just visit, but I found an entrance off the coast of Spain.

I bribed Charon. My father's been cheating him of my fare every time he brought me back from the dead. But, since I was willing to deal, he was willing to offer right back. With what I gave him, it was enough to buy passage there and back. He helped me find her soul and I snuck her out to bring her back to life. I had to put a piece of me into her, to fix the damage that'd been done. She wasn't... exactly the same, but she was alive again.

That wasn't long before I got here. It took a lot out of me just to bring her back. I ended up dead again not long afterwards. We haven't talked since. They didn't really give me a chance to find her before they dragged me here.

S-Spain? There's an entrance to... hell there? Like,... well, I guess there's no other kind of Hell to be going on with... Well, I guess it's no crazier than my school being a tower called Tartarus...

[She reminds herself that it's Samantha's rambling turn. All right. Charon. She recognizes these mythological names, albeit vaguely.]

So... you really saved her life. You must've liked her in some sense... But you went through a lot of trouble for someone else, that sounds like you're pretty good after all, right? That you deserve something good, even if you don't get it. [She downs the rest of her old drink just in time for the newest one.]

So, so, okay. If she was a frenemy--was she the same thing as the troll guy or whatever you've got going on here? Like a romance frenemy thingy too?

Some of the old greek stories had merit. They used to say the Rock of Gibraltar was the end of the world where I came from. There was still a gate there, almost a front door in a way.

And don't go calling me good. Sometimes I wonder why I did it. Maybe I just wanted it to be me who did the deed when it happened one day. I defied the natural order and brought her back to life. That's necromancy. I don't think good and evil applied here. What I did was selfish, really selfish.

I'm not really sure ... what we were. We tried to kill each other a couple times. It was over a kiss, but it wasn't supposed to be like that the first time. [She grumbled.] Eridan's... I know we're more interested in each other this time around. God damn, I'm just glad I don't have to deal with 'frenemy is dead' crap this time.

[Uh... Sam... he kind of is dead...]

So maybe-- so maybe ya don't have any idea why you did it. But you did it. It's not really what you were thinking while you did it, but what you ended up doing, that really matters, right? To other people. And what you're gonna do after that... I mean, if it makes you end up doing worse things in the end, it's not a good thing. Yeah.

[She nods sagely.] But if you keep saving people's lives, I think it's usually, I mean, considered to be a good thing. So you did a good thing. I don't know if it's good or not, but it sounds like it was a hell of a lot of trouble. Something I'd only go through for someone I really loved. Not that I mean that, ya know, not that -- you had to. Her.

But wait. You kissed her? Or what?

Heh, hell of a lot of trouble? Very cute. Let's not talk about the good or bad. You... really don't want to know about necromancy Yukari. You really don't. But yeah, I guess I cared...

[She went scarlet. Wait, she mentioned the kiss? Oh god.]

Ummm, well... she really pissed me off when we first met. She and I were supposed to fight in a match against another tag team, and we started shouting about my powers as a succubus. She was goading me and telling me to use them on the guy we were fighting...

Soooo... when we ended up fighting each other the next round, I kind of tried to knock her unconscious with a succubus' kiss to make a point. Let's just say she took it personally. It was kind of her first.

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