001// Audio->Video

[jurlpower]

[The audio comes on first, and muttered cursing can be heard along with a few loud thumps.]

Frell! Just how does this piece of dren work?!

[The feed suddenly comes to life and a dark haired woman is seen glaring. It takes her a few to realize the feed is indeed on, but even when she does, she's still glaring. It was just a tad bit obvious that she is more than just a little unhappy.]

What the FRELL is going on?

[She pauses for a moment, and with discernible effort makes herself calm down.]

Now will someone kindly explain to me where exactly I am? I've never heard of this Arse-gard. And more importantly where are Moya and the others? [Pauses again, her scowl returning.]

Where is Crichton? I want to see him! Now!

Comments

[samantha_grey]

It's pronounced 'Fuck.' "What the 'fuck' is going on."

[Yes, she knew that odds were healthy that the intent was the same, and this person probably came from a world where Frell meant doing the horizontal lambada in a crude and vulgar sort of way, but she was a bit of a bitch sometimes.]

And, since I've never heard anyone pronounce it 'frell' in the last month I've been here, I'm going to go out on a limb and say "Moya, Chrichton and the others" probably aren't here right now. You're in a place called Asgard. You were kidnapped by a group of seven jackasses and two people I haven't decided if they're complete jackasses or just trapped tools, and dragged into another world to fight their own personal war, which they claim is the war to end all wars in all worlds.

Name's Samantha. Welcome to hell, here's your copy of windows. [Someone had told her that once before. She hated computers, but the joke was a little funny, especially if you said it in a deadpan voice.]

[jurlpower]

[Oh, Samantha, see this? This is a highly unamused Aeryn. Your humour is completely lost on her.]

Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps it's you who's been pronouncing it wrong? That perhaps your way of saying things isn't the only way?

[She's just going to ignore the talk of jackasses for the time being.]

And why would I want a copy of windows?

[samantha_grey]

[In return for a humorless response, she switches over to an only moderately more helpful tone. At least, right now, she doesn't sound like she's poking fun.]

Nope. Never occurred to me once, lady. The windows thing's an old joke where I come from. Lot of people hated it, apparently, so they figured it was part of being in hell.

Name's Samantha. What's yours?

[jurlpower]

[Of course not.]

Your joke means nothing to me. [Really, it doesn't. It's not even remotely haha for her.]

I'm Aeryn Sun... Former Peacekeeper. [Yeah she's going to add that in, just in case. It will help tell her where she is, she hopes.]

video;

[timesnewroman]

Piece of...? [Oh, forget that. He doesn't know why he bothers to be surprised, especially with the company he usually keeps. Then he realizes that the woman has asked more important questions.]

Right. Sorry. Um--the maid. In the castle. The one without a face. She should have given you a piece of paper that explains it.

I don't know everyone here, but there's a list on the bracelet of everyone who's in the city right now. Maybe your friends are here?

video;

[jurlpower]

I tend to not be overly trusting of those without faces. [Really, not exactly easy to read facial tics or anything.]

Bracelet? You mean this piece of dren that only started working after I'd banged on it for a while?

video;

[timesnewroman]

No...no, of course not. [Pretty good thinking, really. He never thought of it that way.] Pretty sure she's harmless, though. Just hands you what you need and sends you on your way.

Yeah. That...piece of dren. And, just fair warning, be careful with it. If you lose it, pretty unpleasant things can happen to you.

video;

[sworntovalor]

I know this can be frightening but you are safe, and I will be glad to answer any question you may have to the best of my abilities. Have you read the letter? Spoken to the maid?

[He smiles sympathetically]

I know not any of the people you speak of but it is possible they are here. There is a list - are you accustomed to using devices such as these bracelets?

video;

[jurlpower]

[Aeryn stares at this man, he is annoyingly helpful.]

Let's get one thing straight, I'm not frightened. [Annoyed, yes. Frightened? No.

Her eyes narrow a bit at that smile.]

They'd be very hard to miss. Moya is a ship. She takes up a lot of space. [But she shakes her head.] Not truly, unless bashing it repeatedly counts as being accustomed.

video;

[sworntovalor]

[He'll raise one hand in a surrendering gesture. He's not here to start fights, he's here to help.]

Well, I haven't seen a ship but the gods play many tricks on physical shapes.

[He nods in understanding.] It is better done in person but I will try to explain - [and an awkward explanation of accessing and browsing through the contact list follows.]

video

[childsoldier]

I don't think most of us heard about Asgard before we got here.

But we're stuck here. And the people you know might not be here. No one I know from home is here.

video

[jurlpower]

What is it's purpose. This note is ridiculous and utter dren at explaining things.

I demand answers.

video

[childsoldier]

It's purpose seems to just be what the note said. We're supposed to help this place, somehow.

I don't have any answers other than what you've already been told.

video

[volcanoes]

The gods of Asgard brought you here to save the city and fight a war for them. You're nowhere near home.

video

[jurlpower]

Frell that. I don't fight others wars for them.

video

[volcanoes]

They're not gonna make you. Or stop you from getting killed in it.

[formercheerio]

Are you done? [ With the banging and frell-ing, she means ]

[jurlpower]

Not that it's any of your business, but no.

[formercheerio]

Considering that you turned this on and yelled it all to us, I think it is. [ You brought her into it ]

And for the record, not many people had heard of Asgard.

[gate_of_babylon]

[Arse-gard? Oh now that is funny.]

Yes, a miserable little city overseen by miserable little godlings.

Why we must solve their trifling problems for them remains a mystery.

[jurlpower]

If they're such miserable little godlings, how is it they've brought me here?

[gate_of_babylon]

An artefact, most likely. It is not as if only gods can bed reality or summon beings of varying strengths and powers. Quite the opposite, in fact.

[stakes]

What's a frell? [ Yep. That's what you get because that is literally her first thought. ] -- Or a dren? Because neither of these words register even remotely...

-- And, um -- it's ... Asgard. Not Arsegard? Unless you think the As part is trying to be ass, and um -- I don't think there's a Crichton here. Calming down is probably a thing you're gonna want to do.

[jurlpower]

[Aeryn's just going to stare at this blonde girl for a while. She just cannot even... Truly, this girl is slow.]

Surely the context of the words weren't lost on you.

[She much prefers Arse-gard, okay?] What do you know then? Because so far I'd be guessing not a lot.

[stakes]

Well, yeah, but they're not really words so much as fake sounds nobody really uses. So.

[ ... :| ] It's run by Gods, we're all trapped her, and we're supposed to bring color back to the world. Also fight a war when the time comes. How's that for not a lot, know-it-all-face?