001// Audio->Video

[jurlpower]

[The audio comes on first, and muttered cursing can be heard along with a few loud thumps.]

Frell! Just how does this piece of dren work?!

[The feed suddenly comes to life and a dark haired woman is seen glaring. It takes her a few to realize the feed is indeed on, but even when she does, she's still glaring. It was just a tad bit obvious that she is more than just a little unhappy.]

What the FRELL is going on?

[She pauses for a moment, and with discernible effort makes herself calm down.]

Now will someone kindly explain to me where exactly I am? I've never heard of this Arse-gard. And more importantly where are Moya and the others? [Pauses again, her scowl returning.]

Where is Crichton? I want to see him! Now!

Comments

[samantha_grey]

It's pronounced 'Fuck.' "What the 'fuck' is going on."

[Yes, she knew that odds were healthy that the intent was the same, and this person probably came from a world where Frell meant doing the horizontal lambada in a crude and vulgar sort of way, but she was a bit of a bitch sometimes.]

And, since I've never heard anyone pronounce it 'frell' in the last month I've been here, I'm going to go out on a limb and say "Moya, Chrichton and the others" probably aren't here right now. You're in a place called Asgard. You were kidnapped by a group of seven jackasses and two people I haven't decided if they're complete jackasses or just trapped tools, and dragged into another world to fight their own personal war, which they claim is the war to end all wars in all worlds.

Name's Samantha. Welcome to hell, here's your copy of windows. [Someone had told her that once before. She hated computers, but the joke was a little funny, especially if you said it in a deadpan voice.]

video;

[timesnewroman]

Piece of...? [Oh, forget that. He doesn't know why he bothers to be surprised, especially with the company he usually keeps. Then he realizes that the woman has asked more important questions.]

Right. Sorry. Um--the maid. In the castle. The one without a face. She should have given you a piece of paper that explains it.

I don't know everyone here, but there's a list on the bracelet of everyone who's in the city right now. Maybe your friends are here?

video;

[sworntovalor]

I know this can be frightening but you are safe, and I will be glad to answer any question you may have to the best of my abilities. Have you read the letter? Spoken to the maid?

[He smiles sympathetically]

I know not any of the people you speak of but it is possible they are here. There is a list - are you accustomed to using devices such as these bracelets?

video

[childsoldier]

I don't think most of us heard about Asgard before we got here.

But we're stuck here. And the people you know might not be here. No one I know from home is here.

video

[volcanoes]

The gods of Asgard brought you here to save the city and fight a war for them. You're nowhere near home.

[formercheerio]

Are you done? [ With the banging and frell-ing, she means ]

[gate_of_babylon]

[Arse-gard? Oh now that is funny.]

Yes, a miserable little city overseen by miserable little godlings.

Why we must solve their trifling problems for them remains a mystery.

[stakes]

What's a frell? [ Yep. That's what you get because that is literally her first thought. ] -- Or a dren? Because neither of these words register even remotely...

-- And, um -- it's ... Asgard. Not Arsegard? Unless you think the As part is trying to be ass, and um -- I don't think there's a Crichton here. Calming down is probably a thing you're gonna want to do.