6. video

[uncertainty]

[ Backdated a few hours back to the evening of the nineteenth!

Tavros is humming. Just humming. He's already sang on the network once, albeit due to a recording left running before he remembered he'd started one. The singing wasn't really all that bad!

This, however... ]

My chick bad,
My chick hood
My chick do stuff dat ya chick wish she could

My chick bad, badder than yours
My my chick bad, badder than yours
My my my chick bad, badder than yours

[ A pause. ]

Well, it's Friday and it's my day
Just to party all the way to Sunday
Maybe 'til Monday, I dunno what day
Everyday's just a holiday
Crusin' on the freeway
Feelin' kinda breezy
Got the top down, lettin' my hair blow
I dunno where I'm goin'
All I know is when I get there
Someone's gonna "touch my body"

[ He looks terribly confused at that lyric there. ]

Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a jerk
But I'm feelin' just a little stressed out from work
Could you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair?
Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out? (Yeah)
Now, what's your name girl?
What's your sign?
Other trolls saying, "Man, you must be up out your mind"
No I'm just, checking out that behind,
Woah!
Beer Goggles! Blind!
I'm just trying to unwind!

Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy shake that ass
Oops I mean girl girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Just lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Go crazy
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Oh baby
(HA-HA)
Oh baby, baby
(HA-HA)

[ This? This is awful. It's filled with Tavros' trademark pauses, it doesn't match whatever beat he was supposedly going for. There are plenty of uhs and lengthy pauses where it looks like he desperately wants to say something about how none of these lyrics make sense except maybe he thinks the original rapper might be desperately longing for a kismesis but doesn't know how to blackflirt, but whatever magic this is encourages him to continue on with the atrocity rather than indulge in a moment or two of mind numbing stupidity. ]

Uh, [ he blinks, and then his chest swells with what has to be pride and like any good thirteen year old, Tavros declares his challenge. ] The stage has been, uhh, set, Asgard! For the straight up, mother-flipping, sickest fires to, take this town! I, challenge you, to a slam poetry contest, and, winner take all... But, there isn't actually a prize, so, bragging rights, are what you win. But, I, uhh, will, personally schoolfeed, all of you.

Comments

[audio]

[parasiteye]

[ I THINK THIS ICON SAYS IT ALL but really Tavros.....w-what was that omgggggg kaz can't handle this. He's going to die laughing ]

[audio]

[uncertainty]

[ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HEAT GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN KAZ

or

or at least stop laughing ]

video

[alphastorming]

[Just have Aika staring awkwardly as she tries to work out where to even start with this.]

video

[uncertainty]

Aika, do you, uhh, accept the challenge?

[video]

[whatagoodgirl]

That was... [Much too long of a pause.] ... something.

[video]

[uncertainty]

Slam poetry is, my speciality.

video;

[sc4l3s]

[ Forget all those other jerks. ]

Good job, Tavros! Show them what you've got.

video;

[uncertainty]

Thanks, Terezi! [ He's so proud ] But, I don't really understand, these stanzas.

1/infinity

[sup]

2/

[sup]

[ ... ]

3/

[sup]

[ wh ]

4/

[sup]

[ crying ]

5/

[sup]

[ Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nam turpis magna, convallis et malesuada eget, eleifend et massa. Mauris varius risus dolor, eu rhoncus mi. Phasellus vel nisi et elit tempus iaculis eu sed lorem. Vivamus ac enim lectus, sit amet semper dolor. Cras sit amet dui ac nisi condimentum imperdiet. Vestibulum consectetur interdum metus, ut facilisis mi feugiat ac. Vestibulum ligula ipsum, accumsan quis tincidunt in, fermentum quis felis. ]

6/7

[sup]

[ Wait, Wait. Shit--





that actually wasn't so bad. ]

video.

[sup]

[ WHAT IS HAPPENING--

Dave is just staring at you, Tav.

My work here is done. ]

voice;

[catorce]

What was that?

[and why would you slam your poetry that is rude............]

voice;

[uncertainty]

Earth Slam Poetry.

[Text]

[honky]

[What is his boner even doing right now?]

brother...
THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS NOT EVEN BEGINNING TO GET HIS MOTHERFUCKIN UNDERSTAND ON
about what all it is
THAT YOU WERE JUST ALL UP AND MOTHERFUCKIN SAYIN...
but that
WAS THE MOTHERFUCKIN
bitchtits. :o)

[Text]

[uncertainty]

aWWW, tHANKS gAMZEE,

text;

[biifurcatiion]

oh my god you are goiing two get eaten aliive.
iit wa2 niice knowiing you, dude.

text;

[uncertainty]

i CAN HOLD MY OWN IN A SLAM BATTLE,
tHANK YOU VERY MUCH,

text

[nukeoleptic]

hahaha oh my god tavros
that was awesome :)

text

[uncertainty]

tHANKS jADE,

[video]

[wasthemaster]

...was...that supposed to actually make sense?

[video]

[uncertainty]

It would seem that the poet is, having a difficult time coming to terms with his feelings, for his kismesis.