asgardeventide | 20. Vicesimus

[ even in war there is time for philosophy. maybe. Kaworu comes to the video, smiling. He is sitting in his room; on the walls, there are MANY photos of many different people he has met while in Asgard. In his lap there is Zadkiel, an adult orange cat, who is purring loudly (surprisingly, because this cat is the devil) ]

Of all the things you have learned through your life, which is the one you praise the most, the one you think of the most about, the one you are most glad to have learned, met or seen? And why?

[ and because he learned it's better to answer your own questions in order to help others answer, Kaworu will do exactly that ]

I'd say mine is rain. Since this body was created, I have lived inside a laboratory and I was not allowed contact with the outside world. When I first arrived to Asgard, it was around this time of the year and it rained. It was the first time I had seen and felt it, during an afternoon when I shared with someone who is no longer in this world. I suppose that's why I came to love it. Rain reminds me of him. Rain reminds me of many things, and each is very dear to me. [ his hand reaches to pet the cat's head as he looks down at him ]

Ever since I arrived, I was allowed to learn much and see much. I was allowed contact with others, and I was allowed to learn about others. [ yes, "allowed". Because before, he was more of a labrat, not allowed much.

He smiles softly and after he turns to the bracelet again ]

I'm very glad for the time I have spent here. And I thank you for it. I thank you for all that you showed me and taught me, and I thank you for being there. It made this extra time I was allowed much more meaningful.

[ and he is talking about himself which is weird for those who know him, but the war is ending and it's time ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There is nothing to thank me for. Everything I did and do is because I love you.

How have you been, Ninian?

I know I don't need to, Kaworu... But I want to do so, because no good deeds should be forgotten and specially not in these dark days we have only started to leave behind.

And yes, I have done well. I have been working hard, and lost myself a little, but I want to have hope and I almost feel like my love for dancing is beginning to return. And that... that's very important to me.

I do wonder if any of it will be remembered. After all, once we return, our memories of this place will be erased.

Why have you lost your love for dancing?

I... I have heard that people who came here, returned to their lands and then were brought back sometimes keep their memories. I have wondered for a long time if this will happen as well when we come back to our worlds, then, and still I want to believe that it will.

In between warfare and reconstructions, I had less and less time to practice and perform. And as someone who danced for a living, I was so scared by the idea of being rusty... I wasn't, however, and that fills me with joy.

And if you aren't, Ninian?

Rusty. I believe if it«s something you truly enjoy, then you won't forget so easily.

... The idea is too sad for me. I know all to well what is it to lose the memories of the past, and I would hate to forget this world too.

I'm not good when it comes to talk to people, as you know. But my dances were special at home, and allowed me to extend my hands to others, to help them and sometimes tell them what I could not say in words... That's very important to me, and will always be.

I believe many feel the same way about it.

Have you found it easier to talk and connect to others here, even without dancing so much?

I... I know it's a selfish belief, but you could say that knowing others share my desire to keep the memories of Asgard, I feel a little less alone. It's not bad, is it?

[Then she hears the next question, and it takes her some seconds to reply. In a softer, slightly trembling voice.] ... Yes. Not every awkward thought is gone, but it's nice to have so many kind people around me....

Why do you think it's selfish?

Did you not have kind people around you, in your world?

... Because I guess some people's memories of this are not kind, so making such a wish would not take such facts in consideration. If we don't forget as we leave, then these dark thoughts would stay with them too, and that would be too cruel to wish it on them.

[And a memory that always lingers beneath comes to her mind now. Lord Elbert...The man who perished to save her and Nils, the one loved by so many and specially by his son, whom she still loves and misses so much!]

... I did. Few people truly gave me a hand, but those who did, I will never forget them if I can help it.

Do you think people should forget the bad memories? Is that fair?

I'm glad you had kind people with you, Ninian.

20. Vicesimus | Video

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