asgardeventide | [ TEXT - a full day after heimdall's post ]

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[ TEXT - a full day after heimdall's post ]

last fall i got corrupted with thiazis magic too i murdered someone, and i enjoyed it, and i remember it every freaking day everyone told me then that it wasnt my fault but it cant be not my fault and his fault at the same time because maybe it was a long time ago, but im positive some of you remember satan and i are guilty of the exact same thing soooo... when is everyone angry at him coming to arrest me??? thats only fair thing to do, isnt it???

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maybe thats why she chose him maybe she knew we would turn against him at the first sign of wrongdoing everyone is being so vicious if they kill him then they should kill me too doesnt that make sense?? im sorry, robb i know you dont want to have this conversation right now i just hate this

Maybe, but I've been speaking with Heimdall. [Just casually sidestepping the part where he also called for Satan's execution, nbd.] He mentioned that the taint on Satan worked differently than it did with us, though whether it was because it was taken on willingly or the magic itself was growing erratic wasn't yet determined.

But, setting the current matter aside, all I know is that neither of us had any control over our actions, then. They can't kill you for something you never had any control of. [Then again, they kind of already did, just to clean the stains left behind.]

It's not a conversation I wanted to have, no, but I've some experience in those already.

no one is forcing you to have this conversation you know that, right?? we could make sure he is clean and then let him go and then say, sorry we let this happen we wont let it happen again that cant happen again everyones focusing on him being bad instead of the fact that it happened to someone again what if this is just a warning what if we are extra susceptible what if shes coming for us again next

[Well.

Now he feels really sick.]

It won't. [But it could, he thinks, and he tastes bile in the back of his throat, prays to the old gods, to whatever gods can hear him, that it won't, not again, not ever.] Jade, it won't happen again, not to any of us.

[He'd rather relive the Red Wedding than go through that again, and that's saying something.]

but how do you know?? how can any of us know??? what if we are doing it right now? we all thought we were sleeping last time

[ Robb is the last person she needs to be spewing this to, but she doesn't know who else to talk to. She isn't sure who else will understand - Davesprite would, but can't even work the motivation up to respond to any of her messages.

(Maybe he's just sick of her. Maybe that's why Draco finally ended up leaving, too. And while she knows this is stupid, that it isn't true, it's a dark train of thought she can't help but following.) ]

what if i wake up tomorrow and im the one on trial if i dont turn myself in now would that make it my fault this is stupid, i hate this

[He keeps telling himself it isn't the same, but now there's dread sitting in the pit of his stomach, now his chest has grown tight and his hands are shaking so hard that it takes him a moment to steady himself to type out a response.]

I know because my sister left behind her wolf when she left, and she and Grey Wind keep watch over the house, and I have a feeling I'd wake up with some very noticeable scratches if I went out every night. [He doesn't try to think about the pet store, about how many natives were mauled by a wolf.] Ask someone to stay with you, keep watch over you whilst you sleep.

You won't be on trial tomorrow. Neither will I. Everyone knows we had no control over it. [But at the end of the day, it's still his hands that swung the sword, his hands that are stained with blood.]

It isn't. If this is a warning, as you say it is, then we'd best be prepared. Somehow. But it won't happen again.

Edited (wow so tired go me) 2014-09-08 14:52 (UTC)

[ This isn't a message that she ever thought she would be asking a near stranger, but desperate times, right? ]

can i sleep on your couch tonight? he would stop me, too, wouldnt he just to check

Edited 2014-09-08 14:54 (UTC)

[Normally he wouldn't even think about offering. But desperate times and all that, and besides, he'd feel immensely better about sleeping with another person around.]

I've a spare room, you can sleep there. And yes, he will. If not him, his sister will.

thanks send me your address later? im sure its nothing i am positive we are both fine but if one of us isnt if they dont stop you then i will okay?

[There is a strange sort of comfort in that, in knowing that at least one person will be watching out for him, if it does happen once more. Gods be good, he hopes it never does.]

I'm sure it's nothing as well. But in case it's more than that, then--yes. Please. [This is a level of vulnerability he doesn't usually show to people, outside of his family and close friends, but there's no point in pretending he's completely all right, not to someone who went through the exact same thing.]

I'll do the same for you, if they can't stop you somehow.

[ She isn't really sure what else to say. How to thank him for indulging her paranoia. So she figures this will have to suffice: ]

i will be there before curfew thanks

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