asgardeventide | $4

So, uh, it seems like Principal Snape's gone? If anybody needs me to do anything- like, I could... make some calls? Tell me if he has any fr-... I mean, fuck.

[Several hours later, Fiona comes on the network again, this time sounding far more composed, comparatively.]

Hi! This is Fiona Gallagher, from the Albus Dumbledore Academy of Scho- Academy. [She clears her throat.] Yeah. We're undergoing a few, uh, management changes at the moment, and I wanna make sure our records are still consistent. If you're a teacher or a student, please check with me at the front lobby, or, uh, in this post here, so we can go over your records and resubmit anything that might've been lost in the shuffle, okay?

Aaand, we're always looking out for new students. Tuition is free, and open to all ages, so you can take any classes you want. If you're not big on math, but you like, uh, Egyptology, that's fine.

We're also hiring new teachers. Since the war and all, anybody with combat experience is welcome to teach classes on self defense and-... that kinda stuff. The more the merrier, right? [NERVOUS LAUGHTER.] But any teacher is, uh, welcome to apply.

And, y'know, anybody who's interested in donating to the school, uh... we can make... plaques? Yeah, sure, we'll make plaques. And we'll name a room after you.

[Someone's a bit frazzled. She sighs into the recording.] Okay, um, any questions, just ask! I'm here all day.

[ooc Please go here and fill out your info, even if you already had info filled out on the other post! If you're a student, feel free to leave your classes blank and edit them in later, as the class list fills out more. Also, we're looking for anyone interested in donations!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lucky you.

Yeah, I mean, but they'll just forget it when they go home, right? The whole war thing.

[She let that barb slide with just a nasty little look that passed. Her mother could be a real sticky topic with her.]

Yeah, but they're here now, and it's the here and now I'm more worried about than the maybe down the road.

[Then they have that in common.]

Yeah, I guess makes sense. I mean, I work there, so I think it's important. It's just- I dunno, I as curious. This place makes everything... weird. [Not quite the word she means, but it'll do.]

That's definitely one way to put it. [She grunted.] But, yeah that's what it's all about. I had a weird childhood, so if they can have a "normal one" and want to, then even better.

Normal childhoods exist. There's just ones that don't end up on Jerry Springer.

They do... for plenty of people. You just have to try harder here.

And Jerry never knew I existed until it was way too late to screw with me.

[Not commenting on that first bit when you're a donor, Samantha!]

Never too old for Springer. I saw an 80 year old with a meat fetish once.

Heh. Well... fair. There was a tabloid reporter that had a thing about me. Kind of a pain really, but dodging werewolf paparazzi is just part of the job I guess.

And what job's that?

I don't know quite how to describe it. What kind of job do you call it when you work with a bunch of strange people in costume to fight mad scientists bent on world domination?

[Yes, she knew what some people called it. She hated saying that. Really hated it.]

[Fiona's voice is completely flat:] Oh my fucking god you were a superhero.

[EARTH IS DOOMED.]

...

[There was a low growl and she was rubbing her forehead.]

Please don't use that word. You have no idea how much that word goes to some people I know's heads. My world wasn't that different from Pyro's, if you ever talked to him. People running around with weird powers, making trouble for each other. We ... were just trying to keep the peace, really.

[Whoever actually selected her for the Gamma Team had to have been insane.]

Did you wear your underwear on the outside?

[She shuddered visibly.]

Oh God, no. But I knew a guy who did. Mr. Happy, he called himself. Used to stretch his body into all sorts of weird shapes. Never really did see what he looked like before he became... that.

Nah, I wore one of those civvy issue stealth outfits for recon games. The kinds militia-men buy out in backwoods country while they play soldier. Put the logo on it and such. Lot more comfortable. I actually got it here a few months back if you want to see.

I think I'll live without a demonstration.

What was your super power?

...

[Yep, that's a Seriously? look on her face right now, Fiona. She's just staring and staring and staring.]

Did we forget about the magic, the blue flames that froze instead of burning, the illusions, invisibility, all those tricks I used right before I kissed you?

That all sounds like shit that'd get you arrested before you could save the day.

Helps a lot to be on one of the governments' dimes. Hilarious, considering I wasn't a citizen.

You're just lucky you weren't stuck cleaning toilets, with that background.

Did you have a superhero name?

Hey, we shared chores on the cruiser. Cleaned the toilets just as much as the others did, and please. I never saw the point in goofball names anymore than goofball costumes. It wasn't about ego.

[Said in a tone of voice that said there was still plenty of pride involved there.]

[Weird, Sam.]

So what's superhero pay like?

Crap. Great equipment budget, but it was room and board mostly. You didn't get into it for the dental plan, trust me.

Sounds like you guys needed to unionize. Or were you just doing it outta the goodness of your heart?

Call it... penance. I was trying to change the path my life had taken for years. I think it was too selfish to call "the goodness of my heart."

But selfless enough to call penance? You can't have it both ways.

$4 | voice.

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