asgardeventide | #005 [Video]

[Don't bother on wondering what's wrong with the bracelets today, travelers, because there's actually nothing wrong with them. The image is upside down because Jack is the one lying down like that, skinny legs resting on the back of the couch, his head almost touching the floor and making his hair spike in more directions than usual.

His question for the network sounds rather mundane and boring, especially for someone like Jack, but there's a grin on his face that shows there's more to it than it looks. Remember: never trust a prankster.]

Soooo. Pets are popular around here, right? Then tell me, what do you do when hair starts getting everywhere? [He pokes one of the cushions on the couch with his staff, and it's obvious he's exaggerating his story a little.] Extra points if it's rabbit fur you have tips for. Though I kinda doubt it because what I'm always seeing in the network is...

[His eyes widen.]

...dogs.

[And so does his grin. There's "mischief" written all over his expression. At times like this, Jack manages to look like the annoying teenager he died as.]

Geez, there's really have a huge amount of dogs around, isn't it? Do you guys think maybe I could borrow them from you? Rent them? Just for a day. It's for a little... experiment.

[Jack might just be vanishing very quickly off the screen, as if something very large has just grabbed him by his skinny ankles and hoisted him skywards. A gruff Aussie accent identifies the culprit of aforementioned Jacknabbing.]

NO! I don't want no bloody dingos running about the place. They're unhygienic. [And this has nothing to do with the fact he's petrified of them, nope.]

Hey! What are you-- [A snort.] Awww, it's our dear kangaroo jealous? Don't worry, Cottontail, your fur will forever be the only one in our--

[Jack can't finish because he's suddenly being shaken, and the feed ends... but not without showing a giant furry creature doing the shaking first.

Another normal day in the Guardians' home, yup.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Woah okay. People forgot to mention that Santa looks like a badass in the stories.

Haha! Even stories tend to miss my finer details. [The thick accent in his voice in unmistakable. Along with the tattoos on his arm.]

Much like my old friend here I'm afraid. "Easter is best holiday." Bah!

Sooooo...Christmas is the better holiday?

[...Bunny...Santa...this could totally turn into a bidding war to convince her.]

Of course!! Whole season filled with wonder and magic. Carols and sleigh bells and candy canes! Awakening on Christmas morning to results of my visit. ...Is true wonder.

Who can fight against such an image? Eggs? Is important on its own but no match for my holiday! [There's...obviously more to Easter than that but North is a biased man on a mission. Sorry Riley.]

[She shrugs.]

Never celebrated Christmas or had a candy cane. Juuuuust seen pictures.

Don't listen to him, Easter is a much better holiday. Egg hunts, more chocolate than you could shake a stick at, trying to see who can find the most eggs, and spring.

Only Easter brings a whole new season. Christmas just gives you more winter.

[Sorry, Riley, you're being dragged into a centuries-old battle, have fun.]

So would I get a preview of these holidays? Because all of that seems unreal?

[Is she trying to trick them into giving her candy and presents to prove which holiday is better? Why, yes. Yes, she is.]

I mean...I have no idea what these holidays are like.

Sure, I do see why not.

[Bunny will do ANYTHING to prove he's better than North.]

Well I'm coming over now. Maybe we could do that then.

I'll see what I can do.

[He's racing off to hog the kitchen to make chocolate before North can get in there, WATCH HIM RUN.]

Oh wow! My first Easter and Christmas.

[Aaaaaand she's in it for the free candy and presents.]

Will be moment you will not forget! Just watch!

[NOT IF HE GETS THERE FIRST RABBIT. North knows where the keys to the locks are. He will ice your hands down if he has to.]

[This is Riley...totally running to get there you guys. She is so on this okay.

She will be there in a minute BE READY]

[Might take more than a minute at this rate. The "Battle on the Mount Kitchen" is going to get pretty ugly before they get better. There may or may not have been a few more dog threats.

In a frenzy of motion, North's already whipping up a few things still left over from North's own work.]