Voice; 2

[tonsofpun]

Okay, time to lighten the mood.

[Because after all this shit that's happened, she needs to smile. She needs something, anything, to take her mind off all of this and for a second, remember that being alive is good, and right.

And maybe to remember a simpler time.]

I've got this book of puns, right? Well, back in the day, it kinda used to be my thing. And I figure you guys could use this. Or groan, whatever.

Here goes.

A clown held the door open for me the other day.
I thought it was a nice jester.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder.
He got a little behind in his work.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Pffft.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

[That one actually makes her laugh out loud.]

Comments

[tumbler]

Ah, an expensive life to lead! No wonder the lad turned to piracy.

I find the line between such things is often very fine... and influenced in no small way by whether or not the name was thought up at the tender age of fifteen, or thereabout.

[tonsofpun]

Oh, like fifteen year olds can't come up with a good pirate name.

That's what you're saying, Zevran?

[tumbler]

What would you do if that were the case, I wonder?

[tonsofpun]

Do you want to find out?

[tumbler]

I suppose I must! [He laughs.] Do your worst, little Ellie.

[tonsofpun]

... shit, now I need to think of a good Pirate Queen name.

[tumbler]

I would think you need more a good name for a nug, yes? Unless you ate the squealing thing. I tried to find one of the less... gamy-looking specimens.

[tonsofpun]

Oh shit, I wasn't supposed to eat him?

But he came with steak sauce!

[tumbler]

[Laughter! Definitely laughter, there.] They are considered delicacies where I am from! Well, not where I am from, but in a place I have been, certainly. I decided a nug would be the best gift, so if you did not want a pet, you had a meal instead! Ingenious, no?

[tonsofpun]

You put the squealer out there!

I had a hell of a time trying to find out who did that. How the hell'd you even know where I lived?

[tumbler]

Where I am from, we call them 'nugs'.

Ahh, this may be an uncomfortable subject. You see, in the past I have had... shall we say, professions? And they have made me very skilled in the art of finding out where people live without anyone being the wiser.

[tonsofpun]

... y'know, if it were anybody else, I'd be weirded out right now.

[She still is a little weirded out.]

Don't use it for evil.

[tumbler]

But I am so trustworthy and genuine?

I will not use it to your detriment.

[tonsofpun]

[She laughs. Even if Zevran's never 'fessed up to anything around her, Ellie's no idiot. She knows, from his careful instruction on the battlefield, from his stealthy, from his way of knowing things, that he's not all sunshine and roses.

She's had a few friends from that side of the fence. They're people too.]

Point.

But yeah, I'm not too worried.

[tumbler]

Ahhh, Ellie. Your trust in me is heart-warming, I am shocked! Yet... refreshed! I wonder if your childlike innocence will cleanse me of past sins, and teach me to be a new man. Also, I wonder if you baked or grilled the nug? I prefer them on a spit, if we are trading recipes.

[tonsofpun]

[She sticks her tongue out, though she forgets whether this is a video feed or not.]

Pfft. Look at you, all poetic.

Smoked it. They're pretty awesome, actually. Way better than rabbits.