Voice; 2

[tonsofpun]

Okay, time to lighten the mood.

[Because after all this shit that's happened, she needs to smile. She needs something, anything, to take her mind off all of this and for a second, remember that being alive is good, and right.

And maybe to remember a simpler time.]

I've got this book of puns, right? Well, back in the day, it kinda used to be my thing. And I figure you guys could use this. Or groan, whatever.

Here goes.

A clown held the door open for me the other day.
I thought it was a nice jester.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder.
He got a little behind in his work.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Pffft.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

[That one actually makes her laugh out loud.]

Comments

video.

[espouses]

When purchasing soap if you buy two and get one free that's a bar-gain.

video.

[tonsofpun]

It's a bar-

Oh, fuck. A bar-gain, oh shit, that's awful.

video.

[espouses]

I suppose you might say that I am going to be barred.

video.

[tonsofpun]

Oh yeah.

But the worse they are, the better.

video.

[espouses]

... Have you met either of the men without hands yet?

video.

[tonsofpun]

... no?

[She has a feeling she knows where this is going.]

video.

[espouses]

I'm being serious. There are two in Asgard.

[ A pause, then she grins. ]

They're quite handsome.

video.

[tonsofpun]

These are really, really awful.

video.

[espouses]

Why? They're quite handy to have in a pinch.

video.

[tonsofpun]

[She'd come back with a good one, but thinking of puns about hands would make her think of Joel, and she can't think of Joel right now.]

... now I just wanna see how far you can keep it going.

video.

[espouses]

I have a handful or two to keep me going. [ Hah. ]

video.

[tonsofpun]

... I have one, but it's-

[She groans a little.]

video.

[espouses]

I know. I'm wonderful.

video.

[tonsofpun]

... I've got a friend who actually... lost his arm recently, so these are a little less funny than they'd normally be.

video.

[espouses]

Oh.

[ She tilts her head. ]

Would it be bad form to say that he was harmless? Oops.

video.

[tonsofpun]

That was gonna be the one I said.

[She smiles, a little wryly. Ouch.]

video.

[espouses]

I apologise, sometimes my mouth gets the better of me.

video.

[tonsofpun]

[She nods a little. At the very least, she doesn't seem mean-spirited. Just a little awkward.]

I'm Ellie.

video.

[espouses]

It's good to meet you, Ellie. The name's Hawke.

video.

[tonsofpun]

What, like your superhero name or your actual name? Because that's badass, either way.

video.

[espouses]

Actual name. My 'hero' name is the Champion, actually.

video.

[tonsofpun]

That's kinda boring. I like "Hawke" about a million times better.

I mean, come on. It's deadly, it's fast, can't see it coming. The Hawke.

video.

[espouses]

The Hawke. I think I rather like that. [ She grins. ] I am Marian Hawke, though. Sadly, it's not as deadly as it sounds.

video.

[tonsofpun]

That's still a great secret identity name, if you wanted to go that route.

video.

[espouses]

The Hawke, saviour of men and destroyed of evil.