$3 | Video.

[ffuckoff]

[Fiona is sitting at home, on her bed, hair tied back in a loose pony tail. She's wearing a simple T-shirt. Altogether, she looks casual, comfortable and like a real go-getter! What a coincidence, what with that being her intention and all.]

Hey! This is Sigyn house. [She moves the camera around, so it gets a good view of her room: clean, neat, organized.] I'm sick of living here anymore. But I need you [she points directly into the camera] to help me out.

I have enough saved up to rent out a place, but I need roommates. I'd prefer an actual house, but I'm good with apartments and condos, whatever. Anything that doesn't have those giant rats crawling around outside-- have you seen 'em? Pink, with the huge ears?-- in the walls is basically great.

I'm clean- [she lets the camera get a good look at the neat and orderly room around her again] and sane. You won't even have to see me too much, I work most of the day as a secretary. I don't have any infectious diseases, and I can mix drinks. Call me. Fiona Gallagher, Sigyn house.

[Still cheery, she waves at the camera, if a little... can waves be sarcastic? If so, this one was. And then, affecting a slightly more serious tone and posture, she says:] On a totally unrelated note, does anybody around here know anything about exorcisms, or demonic possession, that sort of thing? This is on school business, don't worry, my head's not gonna start spinning around. Gimme a head's up if you have any experience in that area; I might have a job for you. Just, y'know, contact me over the network, and watch out for any real big flights of stairs.

Comments

[feathery]

first step
find out which house shes in

[ffuckoff]

Baldr? How's that look for me ending up dead in a back alley, d'you think?

[feathery]

well thats supposed to be the house of assholes
i know a guy who isnt so bad but apparently he was employed by someone who had genocide in the works back home
so
yeah
there are at least a few of them who fall under the murderer umbrella

[ffuckoff]

Wait, you knew some kind of Nazi? That's what 'genocide' is, right, it's been a while since I talked to- [Sudden and without warning, she just stops talking, looking for a moment confused with herself. And then she shakes her head, and just lets that half-formed thought hang dead in the air.]

Well, I'll bring my trusty can of pepper spray. Can there really be a house of assholes? Who picked these? We got the nurse-slash-gardener house, the spooky shit house, and the house of dicks?

[feathery]

[He can't see the confused look, but the long pause there is mystifying.

...The following link is nsfw.]

i made a visual reference

[How has this dumbass not gotten cursed yet.]

[ffuckoff]

[So Dave is greeted with raucous laughter in return.] Now, is that the Nazi or somebody else?

[feathery]

its the guy responsible for creating a house of dicks
the nazi is a wizard who doesnt have a nose
or at least he wont have one since it looked pretty intact the last time i saw his face
its pretty punchable

[ffuckoff]

Did you punch a Nazi? I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to disapprove of violence in impressionable youths, but I think there's an exception clause for Nazis.

[feathery]

nah there wasnt any punching

filtered;

[feathery]

i thought about it
but i didnt know he was a steaming heap of putrid refuse at the time
i didnt figure out who he was until we got out of fake asgard

filtered;

[ffuckoff]

Oh, shit. What happened?

filtered;

[feathery]

i dont really know the specifics beyond my limited experience with him
he did some cheap mind reading bullshit to try and intimidate me
and talked like he swallowed a victorian novel
oh yeah
i almost forgot he broke in where i work too
hes got a vendetta against the guy who employs me
something to do with soul politics in their own world
but thereve been warnings plastered on the network about him
voldemort
you might recognize the name since it sticks out
it sounds like a kind of moldy foreign cheese

filtered;

[ffuckoff]

[Fiona does recognize it, primarily as the guy who was spouting some good ideas a few months back. But now firmly slotted in the 'literal Nazi' category of her mind, any goodwill for him goes out the window.] Shit. I'll steer the fuck clear, he sounds like an asshole, for the understatement of the year. Is your work and everything okay now?

filtered;

[feathery]

yeah hes pulled some more suspect bs but shits cool as far as i know
between people i keep in touch with regularly anyway
cant say much for anyone else

filtered;

[ffuckoff]

Well, thanks for the head's up. I dunno what the fuck stranger danger would even say about magic Nazis.

filtered;

[feathery]

beware off shitheads with swastikas and horrendous mustaches
i dont care how into facial hair someone might be those mustaches never looked cool