$3 | Video.

[ffuckoff]

[Fiona is sitting at home, on her bed, hair tied back in a loose pony tail. She's wearing a simple T-shirt. Altogether, she looks casual, comfortable and like a real go-getter! What a coincidence, what with that being her intention and all.]

Hey! This is Sigyn house. [She moves the camera around, so it gets a good view of her room: clean, neat, organized.] I'm sick of living here anymore. But I need you [she points directly into the camera] to help me out.

I have enough saved up to rent out a place, but I need roommates. I'd prefer an actual house, but I'm good with apartments and condos, whatever. Anything that doesn't have those giant rats crawling around outside-- have you seen 'em? Pink, with the huge ears?-- in the walls is basically great.

I'm clean- [she lets the camera get a good look at the neat and orderly room around her again] and sane. You won't even have to see me too much, I work most of the day as a secretary. I don't have any infectious diseases, and I can mix drinks. Call me. Fiona Gallagher, Sigyn house.

[Still cheery, she waves at the camera, if a little... can waves be sarcastic? If so, this one was. And then, affecting a slightly more serious tone and posture, she says:] On a totally unrelated note, does anybody around here know anything about exorcisms, or demonic possession, that sort of thing? This is on school business, don't worry, my head's not gonna start spinning around. Gimme a head's up if you have any experience in that area; I might have a job for you. Just, y'know, contact me over the network, and watch out for any real big flights of stairs.

Comments

[emulation]

Well... it's where all the girls like me go. To learn how to deal with this stuff.

[failassassin]

I see.

[a pause and a frown.] Really, the only thing I know about demonic possession are things from movies. I honestly don't think they'd help. I'm sorry.

[emulation]

Yeah... [She grits her teeth with a small hiss.] Movies got it all wrong.

It's okay, though, I didn't expect a man to know how to help. No offense or anything.

[It's just that men don't get possessed the same way girls do. They tend to just turn into monstrous abominations without a brain.]

[failassassin]

And why would that be?

[Sorry Katie, Turlough's a bit offended now.]

[emulation]

'Cause only girls get possessed?

[... not the entire truth, but the easiest one.]

[failassassin]

...really? How needlessly sexist of the demons.

[but thankfully, he's taking that at face value and not asking any more questions.]

[emulation]

What, like you wanna be possessed?

[failassassin]

Of course not!

[emulation]

Then don't worry about it.

[failassassin]

You can't just mention a fact like that and not expect people to worry about it.

[emulation]

[... Point.]

Fine, then worry about it. But you can't do anything, can you?

[Just to make absolutely sure.]

[failassassin]

[as grumpily as he can muster]

...I can't. Like I told Fiona, I know nothing about demons.

[emulation]

Yeah, there we go. [Just as she suspected!]