$3 | Video.

[ffuckoff]

[Fiona is sitting at home, on her bed, hair tied back in a loose pony tail. She's wearing a simple T-shirt. Altogether, she looks casual, comfortable and like a real go-getter! What a coincidence, what with that being her intention and all.]

Hey! This is Sigyn house. [She moves the camera around, so it gets a good view of her room: clean, neat, organized.] I'm sick of living here anymore. But I need you [she points directly into the camera] to help me out.

I have enough saved up to rent out a place, but I need roommates. I'd prefer an actual house, but I'm good with apartments and condos, whatever. Anything that doesn't have those giant rats crawling around outside-- have you seen 'em? Pink, with the huge ears?-- in the walls is basically great.

I'm clean- [she lets the camera get a good look at the neat and orderly room around her again] and sane. You won't even have to see me too much, I work most of the day as a secretary. I don't have any infectious diseases, and I can mix drinks. Call me. Fiona Gallagher, Sigyn house.

[Still cheery, she waves at the camera, if a little... can waves be sarcastic? If so, this one was. And then, affecting a slightly more serious tone and posture, she says:] On a totally unrelated note, does anybody around here know anything about exorcisms, or demonic possession, that sort of thing? This is on school business, don't worry, my head's not gonna start spinning around. Gimme a head's up if you have any experience in that area; I might have a job for you. Just, y'know, contact me over the network, and watch out for any real big flights of stairs.

Comments

[Video]

[ffuckoff]

The kid I'm asking about this for, she said she needed help with 'training'?

...I'm guessing that's not a stage name.

[Video]

[granddevil]

Training what? Her demon? As if demons are pets.

[ wings move. He'd shrug, but he lets the head wings do it for him ] My name is public. On the bracelet.

[Video]

[ffuckoff]

I dunno how things go where she's from. I think she needed training to learn how to deal with 'em.

I live in hope, Lucy. [She's gonna just assume he had very cruel parents.]

[Video]

[granddevil]

Things would be much easier for her if she wasn't stubborn.

[ WOW. NO. ]

Don't call me that.

[Video]

[ffuckoff]

Do you... know her?

Yeah, sorry. How about 'Mr Satan'?

[Video]

[granddevil]

She has a demon in her. Of course I would know.

That's better.

[Video]

[ffuckoff]

Are you guys from the same world, Mr Satan?

[Video]

[granddevil]

Perhaps. [ it seems that way, but honestly? they aren't. Satan just doesn't care ] It's not important.

[Video]

[ffuckoff]

Even though, like, demons might follow different rules and stuff?

[Video]

[granddevil]

Does it look like the same rules apply here?

[Video]

[ffuckoff]

Do I look like I'd know?

[Video]

[granddevil]

[ sigh humans ]

Demons can follow whatever rules they wish to follow. I never forced any of them to join me, they did it by their own choice.

[Video]

[ffuckoff]

[That's... hm. Fiona squints, a bit, clearly thinking, and puts her chin on her palm, leaning forward toward the camera.]

Are you trying to be, like, the genuine article, here?

[Video]

[granddevil]

I am Satan, ether you believe it or not. [ honestly, she believes in girls being possessed, but not satan? ]

[Video] 1/4

[ffuckoff]

[Video]

[ffuckoff]

[Video] 3/4

[ffuckoff]

[Video]

[ffuckoff]

Okay, I don't think you should be working with kids. Have a nice day!

[Video]

[granddevil]

[ he shrugs and turns off the feed ]

[emulation]

Oh my God, I can't believe he talked to you! Do not trust this dude, he's a total freak.

[ffuckoff]

Yeah, I kinda got that when he said he was Satan. I found another guy who isn't totally nuts, though. At least, I think he's solid; I'm gonna have to interview him first to make sure.

[emulation]

Yeah, and he plans to take over this place, in typical Satan fashion. Total psycho, let me tell ya.

Who is he?

[ffuckoff]

Well, fuck that guy. I'll tell my boss not to let him near the school.

Ryan Farrow, the network says. He says he's not an exorcist, he's a medium, but he's the best lead we've got so far.

[emulation]

Good. He'd just freak everybody out.

[Onto more interesting matters!]

A medium? [Huh.] Is he for real, though?

[ffuckoff]

I dunno, there's not really a way to check, is there? Is there anything I should ask him?