asgardeventide | text & voice

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text & voice

q w e r t y u i o p
a s d f g h j k l
z x c v b n m

>:)

[All right, yes, voice, now (but first he laughs, because brilliant--no matter what the hell he knows about the future, about what's here and the possibility of what could happen here; about who is here and what that, exactly, could mean--well, it's not like Sirius can't be serious. But he's had time to ingest it all, so now there's this--):]

Yeah. Is it muggles or gods that invented little bracelets that you can write with? Because it's genius. Huge time-saver. Top marks to the man who came up with this, this is a bit of technology I can get behind. It's these, micro-waves, and turntables.

All right, but I'm going to briefly add to the questions that have been endlessly asked. I'm Sirius Black, and I want to know: is the main form of entertainment around here seriously to conduct surveys?

Because you lot are badly in need of amusement, if that's what you consider to be fun. Or are these bracelets just more of a notice board than anything else? It's all about cooking and job offers and survey questions, it's half lonely hearts adverts and half wanted ads and half girl's magazine.

Since we aren't doing any fighting and your little earthquake seems mostly settled--I've got something of a counter-offer to cure your boredom, Asgard: a scavenger hunt. I've a list of things, and whoever gets me the most of these things, I will give him a reward. Or her, I s'ppose, should a girl be clever enough. [ps, this is not a shopping list.] Quills ready, 'cos here goes: six large fireworks, one package of small fireworks, a birthday card, one of those thingers on the stick that you whirl around and around and it makes a noise like a really loud zip--er, right, an inkwell with ink in it, please--fourteen eggs, a box of matches, and a book.

Any book.

All right, that's all! Prizes will be distributed to the one who comes out on top, but I'm not telling you what the prize is, you'll have to earn it to find out. Entertain yourselves! [And Sirius, but that goes without saying.] Ready, set--go to!

[And he's nearly done, but oh, hang on, one last thing--] Also, forgot to mention, James Potter is forbidden from playing. Not allowed. Anyone sees him collecting objects and reports him gets an extra prize. Sit this one out, Prongsie, that's an order. All right, now go to.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ You cannot be serious -- geddit. Serious. Because. Sirius.

She really isn't amused, however, and actually almost pities anyone that gives Sirius all these things because it is not going to end well whatsoever. Not for the city or for that poor unfortunate soul. Oh well. ]

If you do anything to damage any of the library books, Sirius, I will find you and you will regret it.

[oh he is so Sirius]

Why, Miss Granger, I am shocked at the implication. That's slander. And here I thought better of you. Here I thought we were friends.

[His tone is one of injured indigence. and it's a good thing there's no little video pictures involved, because while he can sound properly injured and indignant, it's more difficult to keep from grinning, which would rather give him away.]

First of all, I never mentioned library books. You did. I said a book--now, if someone hears this, and thinks, ah, a library book, what an excellent idea, is that going to be my fault, or yours? Because you're the one that suggested library books.

My book was distinctly singular, by the way. Only one.

We are friends, Mr. Black, but that doesn't mean I'm somehow blind to what, exactly, my friends can do with library books at times.

[ -- Okay, perhaps a little too scoulding. She'd be giving him the dirtiest look in the world if he could see her (perhaps it's a good thing he can't) and she settles for making a short, sharp huffing noise. ]

It might only be one book, Sirius, but it would be one book per person who decided to take part in this hunt - and how many people would that be?

[ A LONG PAUSE. Then. Sigh. ]

... I trust you. I know you wouldn't deliberately destroy books.

[He waits, patiently, for her to get all of that out of her system--all of that light lecture, and touches of disapproval, and sighs, and so on and so forth. Sirius is impatient, sometimes, but there are things that he can have patience for, if he so chooses.

He lets that last comment hang there a moment--and, for his own benefit, adds a silent anymore. He wouldn't deliberately destroy books anymore. But he's not saying that to Miss Granger, instead he asks, quite cheerfully and apparently off-topic--]

Were you a prefect? Or are you?

[ Hermione isn't at all surprised that he managed to guess; she's kind of obvious when it comes to her strict adherence to rules and regulations. She also picks up on his sighs and she frowns to herself - so much like Harry and Ron that it stings in a rather strange and wonderful way. She already feels the same way about Sirius that she does for her two friends; a deep connection that's like a second family.

She sighs softly, settled and amused. ]

I was, actually. Prefect and Head Girl before I left before my Seventh year.

Prefect and Head Girl. Merlin, what a surprise!

[It isn't a surprise, at all. But Sirius has grown to find a special place in his heart for Gryffindor prefects and Head Whatevers, thanks to those appointments being bestowed upon a deserving few. Hermione is no exception to that fondness.]

Well, you know what they say. Once a prefect, always a prefect, and so on. Even if there's nothing to be prefect over. I'd be willing to bet that you end up in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, once it's all said and done. If I had a galleon, I would use it now, but you'll have to settle for the intent of a galleon. What are you doing with yourself here, anyways?

I'd forgotten how arseish you lot can be when you're in the mood.

[ She's teasing of course, messing with him - it's so easy to do it. Still, she knows her future might be a little... Obvious. Oh well. ]

I don't think so, actually. I rather want to go into the Department for the Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures. I want to make a difference for them. As for here... [ SIGH. ] I'm trying to find a way out and I'm trying my hand at teaching, too.

Ooh, ouch, arseish. That's nice prefect talk, miss.

[He puts on a slightly wounded air, but when he goes on, that tone has totally gone, since it wasn't at all genuine in the first place.]

Magical Creatures? How did you get interested in that? And-- oh, no, hang on, don't tell me you're going to be teaching at that school. The one that Snape's supposedly on about?

I did drop out in my Seventh year, remember?

[ And, okay, it was for a war and she is going back -- but that isn't the point, not in this game of teasing. ]

Because of House Elves. The way they're treated, the way that the wizarding world looks down on them, it's just awful. Plus, no one takes into account the plight of werewolves, vampires, centaurs and other 'half-human' people. They have rights too.

[ Sniff. ]

And yes, I am, actually. I'm going to be teaching History of Magic.

Yeah, you did, that's right. You're a rebel, Miss Granger. And of course we look down on house elves, it's because they're so short.

[Get it.]

But that's terribly noble of you, I can respect that. [The werewolf bit of it, certainly, because there's nothing 'half human' about werewolves. Bit biased of him, perhaps, but there you are.] But are you really teaching History of Magic! Can I sign up? I'd love for you to be my professor, you could teach me all sorts of things, I'll bet.

[This is a different get it but it's still a get it?]

That isn't funny.

[ :| ]

I just want to make things better - no one deserve the horrible treatment they go through. It's - it's disgusting, it really is. [ Wait. Hang on. ] I don't think I'll be teaching anything you'd be interested in.

Oh, it is a little.

[A little, get it!--but before she can get any more irritable or offended--]

It's only a joke! Anyway, I agree with you. And like I said, I think it's quite noble of you. Now, why d'you think you're not teaching anything I'm interested in? I'm interested in History of Magic.

You're insufferable.

[ SIGHS. You're just lucky she likes you, Sirius. ]

You know exactly why I'd make that assumption, Sirius. But you're welcome to come along if you'd really like. I'm going to be teaching things from our world and things from what others have told me so you might find it more interesting than poor Professor Binns.

[insufferable but charming!]

Hang on, hang on-- Professor Binns? You didn't actually have him, did you--don't tell me he's still teaching at Hogwarts! Merlin, you'd think he'd get an afterlife already...

[ whatever. ]

Of course he is! He's a wonderful teacher, even if things do get a little droll sometimes. But his lectures are always fascinating and he gives so many examples and such wonderful detail!

[A LONG SILENCE.]

You're-- joking. [He sounds uncertain of that, even he wants to declare it as simple fact.] You... have to be. Right?

And why, exactly, would I be joking?

Because it's Binns? Because I think you might kill him, again, if he heard you saying his lectures were fascinating. Even he knows his lectures aren't fascinating, I think he actually prides himself on it.

I find them fascinating! I love learning about these things! And, yes, sometimes they do go on rather a lot, but...

[yeah yeah yeah miss granger whatever here's the real question:]

Have you ever fallen asleep?

No? How rude.

You're unreal. Even Remus has fallen asleep on Binns a few times. Are you made of stone or are you really just that interested in endless troll wars?

Both.

[ Sniff. So rude, Siri. ]

Oh, come on. You're not made of stone. I've touched you, you're squashy. In a good way! Your troll war obsession can be forgiven.

Squashy?

[ Even she's a little put out by that. Squashy... Is that a good thing? ]

I'm not obsessed, I just like learning.

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