asgardeventide | text & voice

Entry tags:

text & voice

q w e r t y u i o p
a s d f g h j k l
z x c v b n m

>:)

[All right, yes, voice, now (but first he laughs, because brilliant--no matter what the hell he knows about the future, about what's here and the possibility of what could happen here; about who is here and what that, exactly, could mean--well, it's not like Sirius can't be serious. But he's had time to ingest it all, so now there's this--):]

Yeah. Is it muggles or gods that invented little bracelets that you can write with? Because it's genius. Huge time-saver. Top marks to the man who came up with this, this is a bit of technology I can get behind. It's these, micro-waves, and turntables.

All right, but I'm going to briefly add to the questions that have been endlessly asked. I'm Sirius Black, and I want to know: is the main form of entertainment around here seriously to conduct surveys?

Because you lot are badly in need of amusement, if that's what you consider to be fun. Or are these bracelets just more of a notice board than anything else? It's all about cooking and job offers and survey questions, it's half lonely hearts adverts and half wanted ads and half girl's magazine.

Since we aren't doing any fighting and your little earthquake seems mostly settled--I've got something of a counter-offer to cure your boredom, Asgard: a scavenger hunt. I've a list of things, and whoever gets me the most of these things, I will give him a reward. Or her, I s'ppose, should a girl be clever enough. [ps, this is not a shopping list.] Quills ready, 'cos here goes: six large fireworks, one package of small fireworks, a birthday card, one of those thingers on the stick that you whirl around and around and it makes a noise like a really loud zip--er, right, an inkwell with ink in it, please--fourteen eggs, a box of matches, and a book.

Any book.

All right, that's all! Prizes will be distributed to the one who comes out on top, but I'm not telling you what the prize is, you'll have to earn it to find out. Entertain yourselves! [And Sirius, but that goes without saying.] Ready, set--go to!

[And he's nearly done, but oh, hang on, one last thing--] Also, forgot to mention, James Potter is forbidden from playing. Not allowed. Anyone sees him collecting objects and reports him gets an extra prize. Sit this one out, Prongsie, that's an order. All right, now go to.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Prefect and Head Girl. Merlin, what a surprise!

[It isn't a surprise, at all. But Sirius has grown to find a special place in his heart for Gryffindor prefects and Head Whatevers, thanks to those appointments being bestowed upon a deserving few. Hermione is no exception to that fondness.]

Well, you know what they say. Once a prefect, always a prefect, and so on. Even if there's nothing to be prefect over. I'd be willing to bet that you end up in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, once it's all said and done. If I had a galleon, I would use it now, but you'll have to settle for the intent of a galleon. What are you doing with yourself here, anyways?

I'd forgotten how arseish you lot can be when you're in the mood.

[ She's teasing of course, messing with him - it's so easy to do it. Still, she knows her future might be a little... Obvious. Oh well. ]

I don't think so, actually. I rather want to go into the Department for the Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures. I want to make a difference for them. As for here... [ SIGH. ] I'm trying to find a way out and I'm trying my hand at teaching, too.

Ooh, ouch, arseish. That's nice prefect talk, miss.

[He puts on a slightly wounded air, but when he goes on, that tone has totally gone, since it wasn't at all genuine in the first place.]

Magical Creatures? How did you get interested in that? And-- oh, no, hang on, don't tell me you're going to be teaching at that school. The one that Snape's supposedly on about?

I did drop out in my Seventh year, remember?

[ And, okay, it was for a war and she is going back -- but that isn't the point, not in this game of teasing. ]

Because of House Elves. The way they're treated, the way that the wizarding world looks down on them, it's just awful. Plus, no one takes into account the plight of werewolves, vampires, centaurs and other 'half-human' people. They have rights too.

[ Sniff. ]

And yes, I am, actually. I'm going to be teaching History of Magic.

Yeah, you did, that's right. You're a rebel, Miss Granger. And of course we look down on house elves, it's because they're so short.

[Get it.]

But that's terribly noble of you, I can respect that. [The werewolf bit of it, certainly, because there's nothing 'half human' about werewolves. Bit biased of him, perhaps, but there you are.] But are you really teaching History of Magic! Can I sign up? I'd love for you to be my professor, you could teach me all sorts of things, I'll bet.

[This is a different get it but it's still a get it?]

That isn't funny.

[ :| ]

I just want to make things better - no one deserve the horrible treatment they go through. It's - it's disgusting, it really is. [ Wait. Hang on. ] I don't think I'll be teaching anything you'd be interested in.

Oh, it is a little.

[A little, get it!--but before she can get any more irritable or offended--]

It's only a joke! Anyway, I agree with you. And like I said, I think it's quite noble of you. Now, why d'you think you're not teaching anything I'm interested in? I'm interested in History of Magic.

You're insufferable.

[ SIGHS. You're just lucky she likes you, Sirius. ]

You know exactly why I'd make that assumption, Sirius. But you're welcome to come along if you'd really like. I'm going to be teaching things from our world and things from what others have told me so you might find it more interesting than poor Professor Binns.

[insufferable but charming!]

Hang on, hang on-- Professor Binns? You didn't actually have him, did you--don't tell me he's still teaching at Hogwarts! Merlin, you'd think he'd get an afterlife already...

[ whatever. ]

Of course he is! He's a wonderful teacher, even if things do get a little droll sometimes. But his lectures are always fascinating and he gives so many examples and such wonderful detail!

[A LONG SILENCE.]

You're-- joking. [He sounds uncertain of that, even he wants to declare it as simple fact.] You... have to be. Right?

And why, exactly, would I be joking?

Because it's Binns? Because I think you might kill him, again, if he heard you saying his lectures were fascinating. Even he knows his lectures aren't fascinating, I think he actually prides himself on it.

I find them fascinating! I love learning about these things! And, yes, sometimes they do go on rather a lot, but...

[yeah yeah yeah miss granger whatever here's the real question:]

Have you ever fallen asleep?

No? How rude.

You're unreal. Even Remus has fallen asleep on Binns a few times. Are you made of stone or are you really just that interested in endless troll wars?

Both.

[ Sniff. So rude, Siri. ]

Oh, come on. You're not made of stone. I've touched you, you're squashy. In a good way! Your troll war obsession can be forgiven.

Squashy?

[ Even she's a little put out by that. Squashy... Is that a good thing? ]

I'm not obsessed, I just like learning.

Squashy. A good squashy. A girl squashy. And of course you like learning, I'd expect no less from you.

Fortunately for you, I like people-- [People herein means, of course, girls] --who like learning, nearly as much as I like squashy. Compliments, both of them. Trust me.

A good 'girl' squashy. Alright, I won't think too hard on that, I'll probably make myself ill.

[ She laughs softly, though, because it's Sirius. ]

Is that because of Remus and Lily?

Good guess.

[He raises his eyebrows a little at her.]

Y'know, it's sort of unfair, you knowing so much about me, and me knowing comparatively less about you. You'll have to write out a little biography on yourself sometime so I can do the same sort of guessing.

Or you could just ask me any questions you have, wouldn't that be a bit easier?

Also requires a lot more thinking on my part. I'm occasionally a bit lazy, I'm surprised you don't know that about me.

[He's not actually all that lazy, but it's generally easier to claim laziness. Lowers expectations. Still, despite his protests...]

Hobbies?

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