asgardeventide | text & voice

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text & voice

q w e r t y u i o p
a s d f g h j k l
z x c v b n m

>:)

[All right, yes, voice, now (but first he laughs, because brilliant--no matter what the hell he knows about the future, about what's here and the possibility of what could happen here; about who is here and what that, exactly, could mean--well, it's not like Sirius can't be serious. But he's had time to ingest it all, so now there's this--):]

Yeah. Is it muggles or gods that invented little bracelets that you can write with? Because it's genius. Huge time-saver. Top marks to the man who came up with this, this is a bit of technology I can get behind. It's these, micro-waves, and turntables.

All right, but I'm going to briefly add to the questions that have been endlessly asked. I'm Sirius Black, and I want to know: is the main form of entertainment around here seriously to conduct surveys?

Because you lot are badly in need of amusement, if that's what you consider to be fun. Or are these bracelets just more of a notice board than anything else? It's all about cooking and job offers and survey questions, it's half lonely hearts adverts and half wanted ads and half girl's magazine.

Since we aren't doing any fighting and your little earthquake seems mostly settled--I've got something of a counter-offer to cure your boredom, Asgard: a scavenger hunt. I've a list of things, and whoever gets me the most of these things, I will give him a reward. Or her, I s'ppose, should a girl be clever enough. [ps, this is not a shopping list.] Quills ready, 'cos here goes: six large fireworks, one package of small fireworks, a birthday card, one of those thingers on the stick that you whirl around and around and it makes a noise like a really loud zip--er, right, an inkwell with ink in it, please--fourteen eggs, a box of matches, and a book.

Any book.

All right, that's all! Prizes will be distributed to the one who comes out on top, but I'm not telling you what the prize is, you'll have to earn it to find out. Entertain yourselves! [And Sirius, but that goes without saying.] Ready, set--go to!

[And he's nearly done, but oh, hang on, one last thing--] Also, forgot to mention, James Potter is forbidden from playing. Not allowed. Anyone sees him collecting objects and reports him gets an extra prize. Sit this one out, Prongsie, that's an order. All right, now go to.

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He was paid?

[She might as well have just suggested that hippogriffs begin wearing dinner jackets and start walking on their rear legs, that's the level of incredulity here. A moment later and he puts together the rest of it, the sadness in her tone, and that makes him back off a little, at least--]

Well, leave it to Dumbledore to hire him on, I s'ppose.

I think a lot of that had to do with Harry, honestly. He was always so kind to Dobby and even managed to help him escape from the Malfoys.

[ She nods her head in agreement before she pauses, swallowing a little. This Sirius may not like. ]

People should start treating Elves better and they will then see how wonderful their loyalty is. I made sure Harry treated Kreacher well and - and Kreacher was wonderful to us.

[Eurgh, Malfoys, he thinks, first. But all Malfoy distaste is eclipsed--briefly, but completely--by the mention of Kreacher.]

Are there two House Elves called Kreacher, or are you seriously talking about my mother's little toerag Kreacher.

[ Her voice goes stern, her lips pursing. ]

I am talking about Kreacher, the poor elf that you treated awfully. There is a reason he wasn't nice to you, Sirius, and that is because you were perfectly awful to him. He was terrible to Harry because of it until I told him that the Elves would respond to kindness - and he did. He was wonderful once someone was actually good to him for a change.

[He's not yet had reason to argue with Hermione. Things have generally been quite cheerful between them, no matter the serious topics that they've ended up discussing, but this is different. His tone has cooled a great deal, when he answers.]

My mother was plenty good to him. He's totally devoted to her, and anything that ends up devoted to her, I want nothing to do with. The reason he wasn't nice to me doesn't have anything to do with me being awful to him. [Though he is awful to Kreacher--or was, he's not seen him in years, and all the better for it--] The reason he's not nice to me is because I'm a blood traitor, so d'you want to try again at telling me to be kind to him?

[ She notices how his voice cools and she swallows. She didn't want to get into an argument, she doesn't, but - she can't ignore the fact that she has to defend her beliefs. She has to defend herself. ]

He wasn't nice to me because I'm a mudblood. He spent hours telling me that I was filth, that I didn't deserve to grace the halls of Grimmauld Place. Until I was nice to him. Until I asked Harry to be nice to him. And then he was nice to me, loyal to us both. He was kind to me because I was kind to him.

[ She sighs, swallowing. ]

I'm not saying it's fair, or that - that you weren't allowed to be upset. But it was a vicious circle that you could've ended if you'd tried.

Yeah?

[He laughs, once, short. This is something he's not going to be talked out of. This is a whole hell of a lot more complicated than House Elf rights, this is all tied up with his mother, with Grimmauld Place--Merlin, even thinking of the musty old house sets Sirius on edge.]

And you really think if I was just a little nicer to him, he'd come around to me? I grew up with him skulking around, Hermione. I know him. He's my mother's creature, and maybe it worked out for you to be sweet and get him to stop calling you names--good for you--but I don't want anything to do with him, or talking about him, or talking about any of it. All right?

[ There's a long pause and, then, Hermione does her best to force some cheer into her voice which, now, is softer. She doesn't want to argue or fight with Sirius, not at all, so she is more than willing to drop the matter now. ]

Of course.

[ Then - ]

All marriages have their disagreements.

[It's difficult, for Sirius, to pull himself out of his darker moods. They come on him quickly and they linger for a long time--too long, sometimes--

But the best way to deal with it is to move on. And jokes, of course, help as well, so--after Hermione tacks that last bit on, there's a bit of a pause, and then he huffs a grudging laugh. It's short, but it's better than nothing.]

Think ours can survive this one?

We could always ask James and Lily for relationship advice, darling.

[ She's desperate to fall back into their easy teasing; as frustrated as she is about Kreacher, as passionate as she is for his rights, she knows she can't change the future, or change Sirius' mind. At least, not directly. ]

[He snorts, once, dryly.]

You don't want fights that end like James and Lily fights, trust me. They're disgustingly in love. It isn't right at all.

We could have our fights ending with hot chocolate?

Something a bit stronger, maybe.

Maybe we could try and make our own butterbeer?

I say 'something a little stronger' and you think 'butterbeer'? Oh, Miss Granger.

[But it's fond enough, and it's certainly distracted him from being angry.]

D'you really think you can do butterbeer?

Well, of course. What else would you mean?

[ She hardly thinks they're going to find a bottle of fine whiskey around and, even if they did, she didn't think it was the best idea to drink themselves into forgetting the argument. ]

I think we could certainly try. I'm sure we've both drunk enough to manage to figure out the taste.

Well, usually when a man asks for something stronger, he's asking for something actually stronger--not that I've anything against butterbeer, mind. I'm only saying.

[The thing about Sirius is, he loves a challenge. He might profess laziness, but he's really anything but: instead he's tenacious and clever and focused, when he has the right task before him. The Marauder's Map never would have come to be if he were truly lazy.

So this suggestion is actually a bit of a genuine prospect, for Sirius.]

So you're good in a kitchen?

If you'd like to find some alcohol I'm sure there are a few people here that could help. I have a friend that seems to have an limitless supply, actually.

[ Damnit, Spike. ]

I'm not sure if good in the kitchen is at all important, but - I was particularly good at Potions and I don't think brewing Butterbeer could be all that different. It's just a mixture of ingredients to make a final result, isn't it?

Yeah, a mixture of ingredients. In a kitchen, presumably, so that’s where that comes in.

[Also to be a wife one must be good in a kitchen. Everyone knows that. That will probably be less than helpful a point, here, so Sirius wisely keeps that one to himself for now--]

Let’s get your friend to get us some real alcohol and then we’ll give the butterbeer a try, what d’you say.

... I suppose that's true.

[ She's not a kitchen wife, okay, she's a job seeking wife! She'd had enough of those ridiculous stereotypes with Ron and Harry and camping. ]

That sounds almost like a date, Mr Granger.

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